Chapter 2: Sperm Donor
BPOV
“Heathcliff, look out the window, we're almost to Grandpa Charlie's. There's the airport below us.”
He knelt on his seat to see over the window ledge, excitement once again strongly featured on his face. The face of his father from eyes, to nose, even his full lips. I can only hope not to run into him here, I couldn't face him now. Not after he cheated on me the day after getting me pregnant. He never even gave me his last name, let alone his real first name so Jake could find him and let him know I was pregnant. If I find him or at least find out who he is I'm worried what Jake will do or worse that Emmett will find out.
“Bells I'm going to kill the son of a bitch that knocked you up and then left. Who the hell was he?” Something crashed against the wall or floor, Emmett's temper had gotten the best of him. Charlie had been disappointed but Emmett was pissed that someone had taken advantage of me. “Sis, at least give me his name so I can tell him what a sorry dipshit he is.”
“I can't, Emm. I had Jake look for him and I don't have his last name and it's his nickname that his friends use- he doesn't like his first name or something. Kinda hard to look in the yearbook by a nickname. Jake's keeping an eye on First Beach in case he comes back. I am not giving my baby up and do not want a future with the guy but I want to at least tell him he has a baby on the way. I owe him that much.” My voice broke on the last few words, tears finally streaming down. I had thought my tears were cried out when I told Renee the night before and she called Charlie. Emmett calling me today scared me. I didn't want to distract him from school, football was his only chance to get out of Forks and he needed to focus on the team. A sophomore already on the varsity team was a big deal.
“Isabella Swan, you owe that prick nothing! He took advantage of you. Hell, Bells, you are fourteen, you'll be fifteen in a few days, and you're going to be a mom. The only thing you've told us at all was that he was a year or two older. You're both too young for sex, you especially. What sort of high school experience can you have?”
“Mommy! So much green! Look look!” Heathcliff's exclamations brought me out of my daydream, reminding me of the here and now, not my pregnancy. The pregnancy had gone well, some issues with weight gain, not enough because I didn't want to eat at first; and they hospitalized me until after I had the ultrasound and saw my little boy for the first time. When the tech pointed out all his fingers and toes, his face on the screen, and then told me I was having a boy, I realized I had to be better and get myself ready to be a mom.
“Mama, plane goes down.” The plane had started to bank a turn for the descent. I patted the seat and when he sat down in the booster seat the stewardess had brought I buckled him in. He's too tall to sit in my lap comfortably anymore. I reached over and ruffled Heath's hair. He turned and wrinkled his nose at me, looking like a brunette version of his dad.
“Hey, wanna play? My team's short one and we could use a player?” I looked up from my book and saw a god made into teenage flesh before me. He was tall, already six feet, and appeared to be fifteen, maybe sixteen. His hair was lighter on the ends from the sun, his eyes sparkling a striking shade of green above pouting red lips. I must have been staring as he flashed a huge smile. “Like what you see, beautiful?” I blushed and stood up.
“My name's, Izzy, not beautiful. What game are you playing?”
My new god pointed towards the hammock pulled taught to make a volleyball net across the sand. His nose wrinkled up as he noticed I hadn't answered his question about liking him or not. His friends waved and he led me to the game, making introductions all the way around. We played until supper time and I had to head back to Billy's to go home with Dad. I made plans to see him again the next Friday and Saturday evenings here at the beach and he brushed his lips across mine in a sweet farewell. My first kiss.
He was the only man I've ever kissed. I let out a sigh. I'd finally gotten the cheater out of my head for a few weeks only to be inundated with memories before stepping foot in Forks. This was going to be a long year... One year and then I could get us our own apartment. Charlie had already agreed to watch Heath in the evenings the three days a week I'd be working, having gotten me a job at a place called Newton's. I would save every penny so that I could get us our own place. College could wait for three years until he's in school and then I'd have more time to work and save.
A sharp bounce on impact notified me we had set foot, or rather wheels, in Seattle and soon I'd have to meet my new step mother and sister. Charlie had not even told me he'd remarried until yesterday, springing it all on me. Apparently they'd had the house renovated, new rooms added on last year in hopes I'd come home eventually, three new bedrooms added, one for my new sister, one for me, and one for Heath, my old room becoming a guest room and Mary's at-home office when she had to bring work home with her. Alice had her own bathroom but I guess a dressing room or walk in closet connected our rooms and then I shared a connecting bathroom with Heath's nursery room. When I called this morning to confirm my flight number, I'd spoken to Alice and she let me know she'd be coming to get me since my dad had to work and Charlie had taken away Emmett's license after he was dumb enough to get caught drinking while underage.
When the plane stopped, I unbuckled Heath and grabbed my backpack and the diaper bag, ready to go face whatever Forks had to throw at me this time. We patiently waited until the rush had passed, I didn't want him to get overwhelmed or frightened. The doctors still weren't sure if he had autism or his reluctance to speak to anyone but me was just a reflection of his lack of consistent interaction with anyone but myself. Renee and Phil allowed me to home school while I was pregnant and she watched him during the day when I was in classes and then I had him all night, doing homework only after he'd gone to sleep. Phil made enough where I didn't have to work although I did more than my normal share of chores to help out around the house. I didn't go to dances or go out with friends; I didn't have any friends. Boys were only after sex, knowing I had a child and was single made them flock like sharks to blood, and the girls called me a slut and wouldn't talk to me otherwise. I only had sex once but it was enough to condemn me to a life of solitude. My grades were impeccable, I maintained straight A's despite being a single mom.
Walking down the concourse with Heath's hand in mine, he pushed closer whenever someone brushed against him. He wasn't happy with the outfit “Nama Neenee” forced him into and pulled at the sweater every few steps. Up ahead past the gate I could see several people milling around, waiting for their loved ones to run into their waiting arms, a tearful reunion. Yet another experience denied to me.
"Bella! Over here! "I'm Alice" I cringed. The peppy one that was bouncing. Out of all the family members waiting, I had to have the tiny hyper one that looked like a model. Someone up there hates me; I'm certain of it. I took another step towards her and Heath pulled on my hand, stopping me. His face was upturned, a slight note of fear in his eyes. I sunk down to sit on my heels.
“Mama. Too loud. Up please.” I couldn't deny him anything. So I lifted Heathcliff up to rest his weight on my hip in the timeless way of all mothers. I straightened my hair and then picked up the diaper bag before resuming our walk to Alice. She was bouncing in place, waiting for us. Time to get the introductions out of the way so I can get home and settled in. School starts in two days and I need to get Heath as used to the new way of things as I can. He's going to have to get used to a new home and a new daytime caregiver who he has never met before.
"Obviously I'm Bella, you're my new sister, right?" Her emphatic nod made her look like a bobble-head for a moment. "This is Heathcliff, most everyone just calls him Heath for short.” I prefer Heathcliff but it's too bizarre a name for my family so they've shortened it to Heath. In our tender moments I call him, my little gypsy boy. Mom and Phil certainly made us feel like gypsies with the traipsing after his teams. I could feel her eyes on me, taking in my clothes. I dress for comfort not fashion. I've got to have clothing Heath can grab a hold of, smear with peanut butter; clothes I can get dirty while playing outside with him. So I was wearing jeans, some layered shirts, and one of Emmett's old jackets he'd left in Phil's car after the last visit down. Standing here to talk was getting old and my bags and son weren't getting any lighter.
“Oh I'm sorry, Bella. Let me grab the bag for you.” Alice took the diaper bag from me and I saw her quickly take in all the pockets of snacks, toys, and books I'd packed for our trek. A mom travels prepared. I thanked her and we made our way to the car where Charlie had already installed the new car seat Phil had ordered and shipped to Charlie's house for me; a new Britax with a cow print matching the one that they had kept for any trips we made back home.
When we were walking, Heath had finally stopped being as shy and turned to look up at his new aunt and I heard her suck in her breath. He's such a beautiful little boy that I've gotten used to that reaction but she seemed almost angry for a moment before she composed herself. “Is everything okay, Alice? You look a little upset.”
“I'm fine. I just did not expect such bright green eyes from your and your dad's brown. I mean Emmett's are gray so you're mom's must be.” She was grasping at straws. I knew what she was trying to get at.
“Renee's are gray like my brother's. Heathcliff has his father's eyes as well as just about everything except his hair, that he got from me.” Here it comes. The million dollar question. The one question I won't answer to anyone. I don't want them to find him. I don't want him to be tied to me and Heath out of obligation.
“Charlie said you met the sperm donor here in Forks. Do I know him?” I choked, in shock from her wording. I'd never quite heard my son's parentage referred to in that manner. I looked over at Alice, her icy blue eyes shining with mirth. I murmured her terminology in disbelief. We both started laughing.
“No, I've had my friend looking for him the past two years and he's never found him so I think he moved out of town shortly after I left. It's for the best, I don't need to see him. Heath and I are fine without him.” We truly are. I'm a good mom, I've had years of taking care of Renee, he's actually easier than that now that we're working on potty training.
“Well, can you tell me what he was like? He must have been something special for you to be that smitten so fast. You don't seem to be the type to fall into a guy's bed for anything short of love and a promise of the future. Why don't we stop at Starbucks and you can tell me what you're willing. We're going to be living together and sisters, we might as well start the girl talk on a juicy note. I'll tell you about my boyfriend and you can tell me about the idiot that let you go. ” I smiled. This was the first time I felt hope at having a true friend.
BPOV
“Heathcliff, look out the window, we're almost to Grandpa Charlie's. There's the airport below us.”
He knelt on his seat to see over the window ledge, excitement once again strongly featured on his face. The face of his father from eyes, to nose, even his full lips. I can only hope not to run into him here, I couldn't face him now. Not after he cheated on me the day after getting me pregnant. He never even gave me his last name, let alone his real first name so Jake could find him and let him know I was pregnant. If I find him or at least find out who he is I'm worried what Jake will do or worse that Emmett will find out.
“Bells I'm going to kill the son of a bitch that knocked you up and then left. Who the hell was he?” Something crashed against the wall or floor, Emmett's temper had gotten the best of him. Charlie had been disappointed but Emmett was pissed that someone had taken advantage of me. “Sis, at least give me his name so I can tell him what a sorry dipshit he is.”
“I can't, Emm. I had Jake look for him and I don't have his last name and it's his nickname that his friends use- he doesn't like his first name or something. Kinda hard to look in the yearbook by a nickname. Jake's keeping an eye on First Beach in case he comes back. I am not giving my baby up and do not want a future with the guy but I want to at least tell him he has a baby on the way. I owe him that much.” My voice broke on the last few words, tears finally streaming down. I had thought my tears were cried out when I told Renee the night before and she called Charlie. Emmett calling me today scared me. I didn't want to distract him from school, football was his only chance to get out of Forks and he needed to focus on the team. A sophomore already on the varsity team was a big deal.
“Isabella Swan, you owe that prick nothing! He took advantage of you. Hell, Bells, you are fourteen, you'll be fifteen in a few days, and you're going to be a mom. The only thing you've told us at all was that he was a year or two older. You're both too young for sex, you especially. What sort of high school experience can you have?”
“Mommy! So much green! Look look!” Heathcliff's exclamations brought me out of my daydream, reminding me of the here and now, not my pregnancy. The pregnancy had gone well, some issues with weight gain, not enough because I didn't want to eat at first; and they hospitalized me until after I had the ultrasound and saw my little boy for the first time. When the tech pointed out all his fingers and toes, his face on the screen, and then told me I was having a boy, I realized I had to be better and get myself ready to be a mom.
“Mama, plane goes down.” The plane had started to bank a turn for the descent. I patted the seat and when he sat down in the booster seat the stewardess had brought I buckled him in. He's too tall to sit in my lap comfortably anymore. I reached over and ruffled Heath's hair. He turned and wrinkled his nose at me, looking like a brunette version of his dad.
“Hey, wanna play? My team's short one and we could use a player?” I looked up from my book and saw a god made into teenage flesh before me. He was tall, already six feet, and appeared to be fifteen, maybe sixteen. His hair was lighter on the ends from the sun, his eyes sparkling a striking shade of green above pouting red lips. I must have been staring as he flashed a huge smile. “Like what you see, beautiful?” I blushed and stood up.
“My name's, Izzy, not beautiful. What game are you playing?”
My new god pointed towards the hammock pulled taught to make a volleyball net across the sand. His nose wrinkled up as he noticed I hadn't answered his question about liking him or not. His friends waved and he led me to the game, making introductions all the way around. We played until supper time and I had to head back to Billy's to go home with Dad. I made plans to see him again the next Friday and Saturday evenings here at the beach and he brushed his lips across mine in a sweet farewell. My first kiss.
He was the only man I've ever kissed. I let out a sigh. I'd finally gotten the cheater out of my head for a few weeks only to be inundated with memories before stepping foot in Forks. This was going to be a long year... One year and then I could get us our own apartment. Charlie had already agreed to watch Heath in the evenings the three days a week I'd be working, having gotten me a job at a place called Newton's. I would save every penny so that I could get us our own place. College could wait for three years until he's in school and then I'd have more time to work and save.
A sharp bounce on impact notified me we had set foot, or rather wheels, in Seattle and soon I'd have to meet my new step mother and sister. Charlie had not even told me he'd remarried until yesterday, springing it all on me. Apparently they'd had the house renovated, new rooms added on last year in hopes I'd come home eventually, three new bedrooms added, one for my new sister, one for me, and one for Heath, my old room becoming a guest room and Mary's at-home office when she had to bring work home with her. Alice had her own bathroom but I guess a dressing room or walk in closet connected our rooms and then I shared a connecting bathroom with Heath's nursery room. When I called this morning to confirm my flight number, I'd spoken to Alice and she let me know she'd be coming to get me since my dad had to work and Charlie had taken away Emmett's license after he was dumb enough to get caught drinking while underage.
When the plane stopped, I unbuckled Heath and grabbed my backpack and the diaper bag, ready to go face whatever Forks had to throw at me this time. We patiently waited until the rush had passed, I didn't want him to get overwhelmed or frightened. The doctors still weren't sure if he had autism or his reluctance to speak to anyone but me was just a reflection of his lack of consistent interaction with anyone but myself. Renee and Phil allowed me to home school while I was pregnant and she watched him during the day when I was in classes and then I had him all night, doing homework only after he'd gone to sleep. Phil made enough where I didn't have to work although I did more than my normal share of chores to help out around the house. I didn't go to dances or go out with friends; I didn't have any friends. Boys were only after sex, knowing I had a child and was single made them flock like sharks to blood, and the girls called me a slut and wouldn't talk to me otherwise. I only had sex once but it was enough to condemn me to a life of solitude. My grades were impeccable, I maintained straight A's despite being a single mom.
Walking down the concourse with Heath's hand in mine, he pushed closer whenever someone brushed against him. He wasn't happy with the outfit “Nama Neenee” forced him into and pulled at the sweater every few steps. Up ahead past the gate I could see several people milling around, waiting for their loved ones to run into their waiting arms, a tearful reunion. Yet another experience denied to me.
"Bella! Over here! "I'm Alice" I cringed. The peppy one that was bouncing. Out of all the family members waiting, I had to have the tiny hyper one that looked like a model. Someone up there hates me; I'm certain of it. I took another step towards her and Heath pulled on my hand, stopping me. His face was upturned, a slight note of fear in his eyes. I sunk down to sit on my heels.
“Mama. Too loud. Up please.” I couldn't deny him anything. So I lifted Heathcliff up to rest his weight on my hip in the timeless way of all mothers. I straightened my hair and then picked up the diaper bag before resuming our walk to Alice. She was bouncing in place, waiting for us. Time to get the introductions out of the way so I can get home and settled in. School starts in two days and I need to get Heath as used to the new way of things as I can. He's going to have to get used to a new home and a new daytime caregiver who he has never met before.
"Obviously I'm Bella, you're my new sister, right?" Her emphatic nod made her look like a bobble-head for a moment. "This is Heathcliff, most everyone just calls him Heath for short.” I prefer Heathcliff but it's too bizarre a name for my family so they've shortened it to Heath. In our tender moments I call him, my little gypsy boy. Mom and Phil certainly made us feel like gypsies with the traipsing after his teams. I could feel her eyes on me, taking in my clothes. I dress for comfort not fashion. I've got to have clothing Heath can grab a hold of, smear with peanut butter; clothes I can get dirty while playing outside with him. So I was wearing jeans, some layered shirts, and one of Emmett's old jackets he'd left in Phil's car after the last visit down. Standing here to talk was getting old and my bags and son weren't getting any lighter.
“Oh I'm sorry, Bella. Let me grab the bag for you.” Alice took the diaper bag from me and I saw her quickly take in all the pockets of snacks, toys, and books I'd packed for our trek. A mom travels prepared. I thanked her and we made our way to the car where Charlie had already installed the new car seat Phil had ordered and shipped to Charlie's house for me; a new Britax with a cow print matching the one that they had kept for any trips we made back home.
When we were walking, Heath had finally stopped being as shy and turned to look up at his new aunt and I heard her suck in her breath. He's such a beautiful little boy that I've gotten used to that reaction but she seemed almost angry for a moment before she composed herself. “Is everything okay, Alice? You look a little upset.”
“I'm fine. I just did not expect such bright green eyes from your and your dad's brown. I mean Emmett's are gray so you're mom's must be.” She was grasping at straws. I knew what she was trying to get at.
“Renee's are gray like my brother's. Heathcliff has his father's eyes as well as just about everything except his hair, that he got from me.” Here it comes. The million dollar question. The one question I won't answer to anyone. I don't want them to find him. I don't want him to be tied to me and Heath out of obligation.
“Charlie said you met the sperm donor here in Forks. Do I know him?” I choked, in shock from her wording. I'd never quite heard my son's parentage referred to in that manner. I looked over at Alice, her icy blue eyes shining with mirth. I murmured her terminology in disbelief. We both started laughing.
“No, I've had my friend looking for him the past two years and he's never found him so I think he moved out of town shortly after I left. It's for the best, I don't need to see him. Heath and I are fine without him.” We truly are. I'm a good mom, I've had years of taking care of Renee, he's actually easier than that now that we're working on potty training.
“Well, can you tell me what he was like? He must have been something special for you to be that smitten so fast. You don't seem to be the type to fall into a guy's bed for anything short of love and a promise of the future. Why don't we stop at Starbucks and you can tell me what you're willing. We're going to be living together and sisters, we might as well start the girl talk on a juicy note. I'll tell you about my boyfriend and you can tell me about the idiot that let you go. ” I smiled. This was the first time I felt hope at having a true friend.
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