This chapter comes with many thanks to drtammy1511 for offering medical knowledge and also to my ficwife and beta, mischief-maker1, for getting up super early on a Friday morning to proof this before leaving for work.
Previously on Donation Drive
There were hot tears falling onto my face from Jake as he cried. “I didn't want this for you, my love, my only love. I wanted more for you than this life. I'll make it right. I will. I am taking you to Carlisle. He can answer all of your questions.”
I reached up to Jake's face, his eyes still closed as tears leaked out the corners, matting his thick lashes. He let out a throaty hum as I stroked my thumbs above his cheeks, wiping away his tears. I had seen him cry before, back when we were together, and even in the days prior to there being an “us,” but I had never seen such a pained look on his face. It was as if his entire world was crumbling around him.
“Jake, why don't you just tell me? You're here, and that way we don't have to disturb Doctor Cullen.”
His eyes opened, the deep brown, almost black, watching me as if he was looking at a stranger. His lips parted and I felt the air move as if he tried to talk, but then Jake made a strangled sound as if choking. He tried again, and then a third time before shaking his head.
“I can't, Bells. I just can't. I'm not allowed to.”
Jake released me and went into the bathroom to wash his face. I looked at my finger, the faint silver line already fading out even further. What the hell was going on in this household? There was so much going on; sex with people they aren't married to, odd food allergies, licking my finger and making the cut vanish, and somehow, Jake and our past is tied up in this.
I felt his eyes on me before I heard the knock. Turning, I was unsurprised to find Carlisle standing at the door, Jasper on his heels.
“Why don't you come with me, Bella? My office will be a comfortable place for this discussion. It is not one I was ready to give to you yet; we had hoped it would never occur, but accidents happen, and now the future has shifted.”
Future?
“You'll understand everything by the time we're done, Bella.” Jasper slid his arm around my waist and began leading me down the hall to the corner office that was seemingly tucked away into the shadows. A great wooden cross hung on the wall and Carlisle reached up, gently running his fingertips over the aged wood.
“That must be very old.”
Carlisle turned to me and nodded briefly. “My best educated guess is the early sixteen-thirties.”
“Wow. How did you find something like that?”
Both men laughed.
“That is part of the story I must tell. Bella, if you'll please come inside. Thank you, Jasper. I will call for you if you are needed.”
Jasper tightened his fingers on my waist. “Alice thinks I should be here for the first part at least. She is just now finishing with making arrangements for our guest and his donor and then has other things to attend to.”
“Donor?”
Carlisle nodded. “All part of the story, Bella. We will get there in time; please come in and we can start at the beginning.”
The dark-paneled room had high ceilings, one entire wall was comprised of windows, and another was floor to ceiling bookshelves. A large mahogany desk dominated the room, a leather chair behind it, as well as two side by side in front. Carlisle indicated I should take a seat and he backed up to his desk, sitting on the edge, feet crossed at the ankle. His loafers looked like something my grandfather would wear, not a young doctor.
“I will start with the cross, as it is part of my story. Please, let me finish speaking, and then I will gladly answer anything you ask. First, are you comfortable? I can adjust the room's temperature if you wish, or get you a drink...” Carlisle trailed off as he indicated a small bar with three crystal decanters with various amber-hued fluids and a tray of glasses.
“I'm not thirsty, but thank you. Please, Carlisle. I just want answers.”
He nodded. “Then you shall have them. I pray, for my family's sake, that you can accept what I tell you. We would hate to lose your friendship.”
Jasper reached over and took my hand into his. “You'll be fine, darlin'.” His touch left me feeling relaxed and content. Being near Jasper was always a joy for he brought such a sense of peace with him.
“The cross belonged to my father.”
"He collected antiques?" I asked.
"No. Bella, you spent a considerable amount of time with the Quileute before, am I correct?” I nodded in response to Carlisle's question. “Do you recall their legends?”
“More or less.”
“The one I'm asking about in particular is that of the cold ones. Do you remember that one?”
“They're the enemies of the Quileute. They said they were blood drinkers.”
Carlisle nodded. “My father carved the cross himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."
My eyes drifted to the hall, and I was fairly certain that my face showed some state of my shock. The cross was over three hundred and seventy years old.
“Bella, I just celebrated my three hundred and sixty-second birthday.”
I felt as if I'd been dunked into the ocean waters near First Beach. The world stopped moving as my attention was solely focused on the blond haired, golden eyed, doctor in front of me, who was either lying or an anomaly.
“I was born in London, as you can most likely tell by the accent which still drifts into my speech from time to time. The best I can guess is that I was born in the sixteen-forties. It was before Cromwell, so I can date myself from that period of time. Even as part of the Anglican Church, we were commoners and did not mark time the same way we do now.”
“I was an only child, from what I can remember, and do not recall my mother. I believe she died giving birth to me. My father believed that evil walked the streets of London. He led witch hunts as well as crusades against those he believed to be werewolves or vampires.”
Carlisle paused, watching my face with intense scrutiny. He turned to Jasper and I felt almost drugged, my body becoming sluggish. “My father became a fanatic, much like your own country dealt with during the Salem witch trials. A lot of innocent people burned as the real creatures, the werewolves and vampires, were much harder to catch, when they made themselves visible at all.”
“On my twenty-third birthday, my father put me in charge of his raids against the evil. He quickly became unhappy with my decisions. I refused to kill humans whose only evil were that of sins against the Church and Holy Word.” I could almost hear the reverence in Carlisle's voice as he spoke of what he obviously held sacred.
“One evening, near dusk, I discovered the true vampires my father sought. They came from the sewers, coming out to hunt.” He paused, his eyes locked on some unseen past. “I drew together a hunting party; and they gathered with their pitchforks and torches. We waited at the entrance to the sewers and eventually, one emerged. His eyes were black, as was his hair, and skin so pale I thought he'd never seen the sun. Even city folk who worked indoors, were not so pale as the creature before us.”
“I heard him cry out in Latin, telling the others it was safe, before the wind shifted and he caught our scent. We chased him through the city, determined to burn his wretched form and save others from his fate.”
Jasper spoke up, his arm moving up to rest on my shoulders, fingers gently massaging my neck.
“Carlisle was a very good runner, with great endurance even then. The vampire attacked Carlisle, biting him. The other hunters attacked the vampire and he left two dead, and made off with a third, but left Carlisle behind, thinking him dead.”
Carlisle nodded and raised a hand to Jasper, silencing him.
“I would be burned so that I could die with my soul intact. However, instinct took over, and I found an open cellar, and crawled into it. I buried myself in a bin full of rotting vegetables so I would not be discovered easily. When the pain started, I bit down on a potato, letting its flesh muffle my cries when I could not swallow them back.”
“In three days, it was over, and as the thirst started, I realized what I had become, a vampire.”
Carlisle took a step forward and I pressed myself back into the chair as he came closer. “I'm not going to hurt you, Bella; I just want to check on your vitals. I don't want you going into shock.”
His cold fingers rested on my forehead and then reached for my wrist, checking my pulse.
"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked.
"I'm fine," I assured him, my voice sounding weak to my own ears. He turned to Jasper who then nodded in agreement to a silent question.
He's a vampire. I turned from Carlisle to Jasper who looked at me with the same golden eyes, although his had a reddish orange cast along the edges.
“You're vampires?” I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or run away.
“Yes, we are. Do you remember what else the Quileute legends say about us?”
I struggled to find the right memory of bonfires past. I remembered Jake's warm arms around me, a blanket pulled up over us as he traced circles on my stomach while we listened the stories of their ancestors, the ocean's waves crashing on the shore behind us.
“The treaty?” I fought through a flood of painful memories of hearing about the bonfires from Seth when I'd called to say hello after I'd moved to Florida. “You don't drink from humans.”
“We didn't. We do now, to a degree. Fighting our nature was a dangerous game. We've discovered that when given small amounts of human blood, we are better able to resist its lure. Let me continue with my story so you can better understand what we are, what we have been, and what we are trying to be.”
Carlisle crossed the room and pointed to a painting of London from what must have been his human days. My head began to spin at the thought. Vampires. That meant... Edward was a vampire.
“Yes, Bella, Edward too.” Jasper had moved so that he was squatting in front of me. I didn't realize I'd spoken my thoughts aloud.
“None of us are going to hurt you. You've been here a week and nothin' has happened besides what Emmett did; and sugar, that's mostly my fault. We were sparrin' and I managed to clean take off his arm. He was comin' in to call Leah for an emergency feedin' as he lost so much venom.”
“Venom?”
Carlisle came back to his perch on the desk. “Yes, Bella; we have venom, much like snakes and scorpions. It is what allowed Emmett to heal your finger. It is also what can change a human into one of us. It is also one of the mechanics that allows us to process blood and to heal our own wounds.”
“But what does this have to do with Leah; and I'm assuming you mean Clearwater, Seth's sister?”
They both nodded and Carlisle went behind his desk and sat down in the giant chair.
“When I was first turned, I still held many of my human memories, and luckily something that remained intact when I was changed was my humanity. I loathed what I had become and was determined to destroy myself. I attempted suicide more times than your mind could fathom. I discovered that it is almost impossible to destroy a vampire, despite my desire. In my thoughts, I would prefer to kill myself, and lose my chance at Salvation, than turn to an unlife of destroying God's blessed creatures.”
Carlisle sat perfectly still, his hands now crossed in his lap. It did not seem as if he was even breathing. My eyes drifted to look at Jasper who was still crouched before me.
“Don't look at me like that, Bella. I'm still the same Jasper I was when we stayed up late lookin' at my new shipment of books for my study. Now, I don't have to hide what I am.”
He smiled, his lips parting over sparkling white teeth.
“You don't have fangs?”
The both opened their mouths wide.
“No, Bella. Our teeth are sharper than any blade known to mankind. We do not have most of the Hollywood theatrical physical traits. While some of our ancients are sensitive to the light, the Sun does not harm us, nor do we sleep in coffins, or burst into flame from holy water or garlic.” Carlisle gave a small smile after he finished speaking.
Jasper reached up and turned his hand palm up. “Feel my skin, Bella.”
I shook my head and Jasper reached up and grabbed my hand gently. He rested it on his upturned forearm. The skin was cold, as I'd become accustomed to, but as I'd never been in close contact with one of the Cullens for more than a few minutes, I really touched him. Jasper's arm was smooth as porcelain, and almost as pale, with just a dusting of blond hair on the top of his forearm. The skin itself was hard as rock, it was like polished granite or marble. The longer I rested my hand on Jasper's arm, the more it seemed to almost warm from my touch.
“You really aren't human.”
“No, darlin'. We didn't want to tell you unless we had to. But, there's more to our story, if you are up to hearin' it. You're takin' this remarkably well.”
“I need to hear this.”
Both men nodded, and then Carlisle continued. “I starved myself until I was too weak to move more than a few inches. I had found my way into the forest and was determined to starve myself to death. Now, I don't think that it would be entirely possible, but I might have starved myself into a semblance of a coma until I was fed blood. I was hiding, beneath the boughs of some fallen trees that had formed a lean-to against a cliff face.
“A herd of deer passed by on the way to the river, I think. Their scent, while not as good as that of a human, drew out the monstrous darkness within me, and my strength rallied for one last blow. I lunged at a smaller deer, and drained it dry within moments. I ran for another, and then a third, until I decimated the entire herd.”
“Oh!” I covered my lips as I cried out, thinking of several dead Bambi-like deer with their mothers.
“Bella, haven't you eaten venison before? I know that I did as a human. I found that I could drink the deer blood and avoid killing humans that way. For three centuries, I did not drink from humans. I had exceptional control and had not tasted human blood, but then I took a trip to Italy to see old friends of mine.
“I had spent a considerable amount of time in Italy in my younger vampire days while I studied medicine, art, and any other instruction I could find during the evening hours. I came across others of my kind, much more civilized vampires than those I'd met before. They were still human drinkers, but they had banded together and learned to live within the human community while still separate. I stayed with them for almost two entire centuries. The painting behind you is of my friends and me.”
Jasper went and with reverent hands gently lifted the painting from its hook. “Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods, Aro, Marcus, Caius; all creatures I sincerely hope you never have the opportunity to meet.”
Carlisle pointed to the one Jasper had indicated was Aro. “They rule our kind with an iron fist. For millennia, the single rule was secrecy or death. Now, however, that has changed. The Volturi, my friends, discovered a third way, that was neither vegetarian, as I have likened myself, or their human drinking ways.
“While I was in Italy more recently, within the past five years, Aro had everyone in the castle join together at a table set for fifty. A crystal goblet sat at each place, empty when we arrived. After we had all joined, fifty human servants arrived and poured from heated decanters, a few ounces of animal blood into the cups. After which, each used a knife and slit his or her wrist and allowed a small amount to flow into the goblet. The wrist was then offered to the host to close the wound.”
Carlisle closed his eyes as if pained by the memory. “I felt so weak. I could not allow the human to bleed to death, but also knew Aro well enough that he would drain the worker if I refused to heal her. So I licked across her wound, sealing it immediately. I of course, had already changed Edward, Esme, Rosalie, and even Emmett by this time.”
Jasper rubbed my knee and added, “Alice and I came here on our own a few decades ago. But our story is for another day.”
“I drank the offered... wine, if you will, and felt the surge of power go through me. Human blood is infinitely more powerful than that of an animal for giving the vampire body power. It was at that precise moment, I allowed Donation Drive to be born.”
“Donation Drive?”
Both men chuckled and Jasper moved back to his chair.
“Yes, Bella, Donation Drive. It is what we call our home. We run this like a business and we pay our donors. You've met the ones who live on site. We have to move in about two years or we would build a separate dormitory. Our next location will have a separate building for the donors to live in. We are finding that the female donors,” on the last two words he lowered his voice to a whisper, “have a difficulty in remembering their place. Both Jasper and Emmett are married to their mates.”
Memories of seeing Emmett with Jessica, and then of Jake coming back from being with Rose surfaced. “But I thought... Wouldn't it be confusing to them if they are being treated like sex toys?”
Jasper fielded that question. “There are two types of Donors. General donors are called in emergency for direct feeding or arrange to donate via syringe and live off site, for the most part. Sam is a general donor, but he lives on site and he fills our personal blood bank. Yes, Rosalie, Emmett, and even Alice do take physical relief from their donors, but Esme, Carlisle, and myself do not. My heart, body, and soul belong to Alice.”
But all of the flirting he'd done?
Jasper smiled, more of a smirk actually. “I can feel your confusion. I'm guessing it has to do with your first day here and my actions?” After I nodded, he continued, “I enjoy getting a rise out of you; but I would never do anything to harm my relationship with Alice. Now, I do ensure that Charlotte receives pleasure while I feed from her.”
Carlisle looked disapprovingly at Jasper. “That segues into my next topic, Bella, and one that you are most likely particularly interested in as it it involves Jacob. He is, by the way, outside now. Alice and Rose took him out to the guest house so that he would not be part in this conversation.”
“They're drinking his blood?” I hated to think of them biting him.
“Among other things, sugar. They'll keep your boy distracted for a while. Alice will know when they can come back in.”
“How?”
Both men sat back in their chairs. “Not yet, and for that, I must ask all of my children for permission to share as it involves them directly. The bonded donors, like Jake, have signed a contract with one of my children to be a direct source of blood.”
“But the venom...” I trailed off, my mind grasping at a thousand different ways around the venom that would change my still very warm Jake into the walking dead.
“We do not bite our donors, Bella. I do not actually have a bonded donor, so it is probably best for Jasper to explain this part.”
Seemingly effortless, Jasper tugged my chair so that the arms of our chairs were almost sealed together. Faster than my eyes could follow, he grasped my arm and flipped it so that my wrist was up. His fingers gently rubbed over the veins and arteries until I could feel my heart beating in time with his touch. He flashed a rakish smile before kissing my wrist.
“We can't let our venom enter your bloodstream, but we can still drink. Normally, we use a small blade like this one,” Jasper paused and pulled out a small ring with what looked like a razor edge from a cord around his neck, and then ran his finger over my wrist in imitation, “and then we bring the wound to our mouths and drink. Occasionally, we will just use our fingernail, although I prefer the blade. Rose and Alice, I know, use their fingernails.”
I nearly passed out as his lips touched my wrist and he sucked gently. His lips, and the tip of his tongue which flicked across the base of my palm, were ice cold and firm. Lust began to coil through me and Jasper quickly released me. “Even with such a small contact between us, you can see why sexuality is such a strongly ingrained part of feeding. Add to that the sharing of life force, and the intimacy is magnified a thousand fold.”
My body was in a full state of arousal and I was well aware that Jasper at least knew that. His eyes had darkened and he was leaning closer. There was also the tell-tale sign of his denim tenting along the zipper, and it seemed we were both falling under some sort of spell before Carlisle cleared his throat.
“Sorry, it is still a temptation, regardless of my preferences. Bella, I am an empath. I sense emotions quite clearly; I can also manipulate or project feelings and sensations.”
I felt my lust slowly retreat, a sense of calm replacing it. My body ached, yet even that subsided shortly after.
“Better?”
I nodded, worried of what I might say if I opened my mouth. Part of me wanted to flee the room and run up to Edward's and hide beneath a blanket. Another portion wanted to run from here screaming to Charlie and beg him to tell me it was all a nightmare or hoax. But then, there was that smaller part of me, the part that steadily grew larger and stronger, that had already grown to care for the Cullens and wanted to see where I fit into this. I found my voice.
“What about the general donors, like Sam and Leah you said?”
“They have special qualities, as do Jake and Seth, that I am not liberty to discuss with you. Their blood replenishes rapidly and we do not need to monitor their iron count except in crisis situations. If one of us becomes too thirsty, if we have abstained too long or encountered an injury,” Carlisle paused and looked with amusement at Jasper who simply shrugged and gave a sheepish grin, “we will call on Leah or Sam to do a direct feed. Over time, we've found that they are much more resilient and can withstand the fluid loss of a vampire lost in blood-lust.”
“So, it's a Quileute thing?”
Carlisle nodded. “You could put it that way. However, not all of the Quileute have that trait, just the ones we've gathered here and a few we have in reserve for any dire emergencies. They are paid well to be on retainer should we need them.”
I thought back to Jake's friends on the Res. “Paul, Embry, Quil, Jared, Brady, and Collin?”
They both smiled. “You have a rather well developed mind, for a human.”
“To continue, from our normal bonded donors, we take an ounce or two, sometimes three at a time. It is not much, but when mixed with animal blood, it is enough to sate the inner demon we each battle constantly.”
Carlisle got up and went to a locked cabinet. Inside were several bottles of medication of various prescriptions and amounts. Each shelf had a name written on it, and a set of what I'm guessing are color-coded stickers for prescription. Jake, Seth, and Sam had the least with just one bottle; then Lauren and Jessica with a few, but Charlotte had at least seven that I could see in the front.
“Donors have a tendency towards Iron deficiency anemia, so I must place them on a high dose replacement iron therapy. It changes the taste of the blood to a small degree, but it allows our donors to give more often. We try to only feed from the women twice a week each, although Emmett does tend to need more given his body size, and that is why he has two donors. He alternates who he feeds from, but still waits as long as is safe. For every four weeks of donation, the donor must take off four to six weeks to allow the blood supply to replenish properly.”
“How did you get all of this?”
“I'm a medical doctor, and this is a proper business. Outside of that, we have more money than we can spend, so we would be able to obtain this illegally if required. I prefer to do things by the book however. In addition to the daily regimen medications here, I also have a fully equipped medical office downstairs off of the kitchen with a mini laboratory and more emergent treatment methods available. For the donors' safety, I do utilize ProCrit to boost red blood cell production.”
I nodded, the medical information going over my head, yet my worries were put to rest knowing that a doctor was watching out for my friends. Staring at Carlisle, everything began to fall into place.
“We're the same age, physically.”
His eyebrows furrowed as he pursed his lips in thought. “I guess you could say that, although I certainly hope that I look older than my twenty three years or I will have a hard time passing myself off as a physician or instructor for much longer.” Carlisle's lips began to twitch at the corners as he fought back a smile.
The three of us sat in near silence, only the constant thud of my heartbeat and my breathing disturbing the room. It began to grow uncomfortable.
“So, Carlisle, how did you find your donors?”
He opened up a drawer on his desk and pulled out a large file sorter. “After the Volturi discovered the third way, they stopped being so secretive. Their donors family were made aware of the existence of vampires, as were local authorities. Descriptions of rogue vampires, those who still willfully killed their victims, were to be given to the Volturi. Their own hunters would deal with them.”
“Does my father know? He'd asked me if I was a donor.”
“Yes, he does. We informed him and his only reply after the entire story was that he'd prefer any accidents to be properly logged with the police department instead of hidden or made to look like an accident. It is quite a compliment to the character of both you and your father that you are able to maintain such a levelheadedness over the situation.”
I began to fume. Charlie had lied to me!
Jasper used his ability and artificially calmed me. “Woah.” He raised his hands. “Whatever is going through your head should be spoken, not internalized, or it is just going to fester.”
“Charlie lied to me. I asked him what a donor was, and he lied to me. Everyone has been lying to me, including Jake.”
Both men looked at me. “You're more upset about the deception than the truth?”
“I can handle scary things just fine. I can't change the truth, so I have to accept it. What I cannot tolerate is being lied to or manipulated. I do not like decisions being taken away from me. I was lied to and manipulated into coming back to Forks by Jake's father. The more I'm around Jake now, the more it seems that he lied to me in breaking off our engagement. I don't know which side is up anymore.”
“Esme might be of some comfort to you now, if you will allow her to be.” Carlisle's voice was barely audible as he said his wife's name.
Less than two seconds later, her soft knock announced her presence outside the study.
“Come in, honey,” Carlisle called.
Both men stood as she entered and she gave me a hesitant smile. “Hello, Bella.”
I tried to reconcile what I felt for Esme, a daughter's love for a mother, despite how short I've known her, with the fact that she's a vampire. All I could focus on was how warm she makes me feel and the way she has made me feel at home while here. I felt, in that moment, that her presence was a test of my reaction to the entire situation. I stood and as I held out my arms to her for a hug, I expected to watch her take a few steps and then embrace me; instead, she was instantly wrapping me in bands of steel as I was crushed to her chest.
Esme shook from tearless sobs as she held me. “I was worried we were going to lose you, Bella.”
“What would have happened if I had not taken the news well?”
Esme lowered me back down into my chair and moved to stand behind me, her fingers running through my hair in a soothing manner. Carlisle cleared his throat and pushed back a few stray locks of hair from his forehead.
“We're not secret, but we do enjoy our privacy. We limit knowledge to those involved with the program, their families, and the local law enforcement. Money is typically a great motivator for their silence. It was not enough for our first donors who sought us out. Jessica and Lauren had been traveling in Italy shortly after the vampires came out. They met two of the guards and had been so enthralled with the beauty of our kind, that they signed a short term contract that only held for the duration of their stay. When they returned to Forks, they saw similar traits and contacted me at the University. After a few blood tests and explanations, they signed contracts as general donors.”
“After Alice discovered the Quileute resiliency and Jake became a contracted, or bonded, donor for Rosalie and occasionally Alice, the girls moved in as well. Charlotte I found at work, and Jasper signed for her immediately. Do you have any other questions that I may have forgotten?”
All of the vampires visibly shifted their bodies and then paused, looking out the window. Jasper's eyes brightened and he stood, stretching as if to pop his back. He leaned forward and spoke once more, directly to me.
“I'll be right back. If you need me, just call my name, Bella. Any of us can hear you even whisper, so you don't have to worry about repeatin' yourself.”
His eyes had widened slightly on the word whisper and I thought of any whispers I had made. Only one came to mind.
“No.”
He nodded. “I'm afraid so, sugar. We won't tell him, so don't worry yourself about that. Just a warnin' though, Jake's ears are almost as good as ours and I think he heard too.”
I was mortified. My cheeks turned crimson with embarrassment and I bent in half to hide my face as I tried to think of ways I could just kill myself now. Esme rubbed my back, which just made it worse. They had all heard my conversation with Edward, and then heard me masturbating as I thought of him.
“Oh God.” I felt like I was going to throw up.
“What did you do to her?!” The voice was a roar as I heard the front door slam open. Foot steps thundered on the stairs and I heard more than one piece of wood creak from abuse before Edward stood in the doorway, an awe inspiring sight of fury and worry. I looked into his black eyes and shivered.
He moved even faster than Esme and was on his knees before me. Fingers moved clinically over my arms and legs, before moving up to check my face. “You're unharmed?”
I swallowed hard, and then nodded.
“Everyone out.” Edward's voice was like ice yet there was an acidic tone behind the words that left no room for disobedience. “How did you find out?”
I held out the finger I'd cut. Edward's hands were gentle as they cradled my finger. “Emmett?” I nodded. “I wanted to be the one to tell you. I wanted to tell you the truth.”
“I know.” My voice was rough.
His hands trembled as he released my hand and then scooted back to sit against Carlisle's desk, his head thudding back into the wood panel rhythmically. I slid out of my chair so that I was seated cross legged across from him.
“So, you're a vampire.”
His eyebrows raised and he gave a short nod. “You aren't running and screaming.”
“I have a feeling that you could catch me if I was. You're still the same Edward I spoke with last night and this morning; you just have a different diet than I do.”
“But now you know that I want to kill you.”
I pressed my back into the legs and front skirt of the chair, fear finally creeping through me.
“They did not tell you about singers?”
I shook my head.
“My kind have stories that there are humans who smell beyond enticing to us. Your blood sings to me, it calls me with each pump of your heart. I tried resisting it on your first night here, but I had not fed enough and I nearly drank from you there in the kitchen.”
“That's why you left.”
“Yes.” He took a breath. “Please hold still.” Edward moved to the window and opened several small panels, allowing the humid breeze to flow through.
“Thank you. Your fear was increasing your heart rate and the scent was becoming too strong.” This time, he sat down against the wall, staying several feet away.
I looked at him, really looked at him, and allowed myself to notice the inhuman qualities. His skin was too smooth, sculpted to look so perfect. His eyes were turning back to the shimmering topaz and his lips were the dark rose that haunted my mind with thoughts of what it would be like to kiss him. My eyes drifted down his silvery blue dress shirt sleeves to his hands. Each wrist had a glossy black ribbon edged in metallic silver thread.
Edward's eyes followed mine and then he smiled. “Happy birthday, Bella. I told you I would be home.”
His smile was gentle and made my heart break. Tears began to leak down my cheeks.
“How bad is it, really, for you to be near me?”
Edward drew his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapping around them. His delicately sculpted chin rested upon them. He watched me as he considered how to answer.
“Have you ever burned yourself?” He paused, waiting for my response until I nodded. “That first lick of pain is always the most intense because your body then becomes accustomed to the nerve response. While the agony may not subside, the first dose is always the strongest. Being near you is like that. Each time I breathe, my lungs are set aflame and venom pools in my mouth, scalding my throat as I swallow.”
“I'm...”
“Don't apologize. It isn't your fault. I wanted it to be your fault. I wanted to write you off as just a boring human girl, but I couldn't. I tried to stay away from you, but this morning, all you wanted was me. I couldn't ignore your plea; so, I came. It does not make my body's response to you lessen; I still desire to pierce your veins and drown myself in your blood, but I have gorged myself on animal blood while away for these past few days, and I can withstand the burn... for now.”
I hated myself for causing him such pain and selfishly calling him back into the pain. I should leave. I'll go pack, make my apologies and good-byes, and then be on my way to Charlie's until I can save up for my own place.
Edward, who had been looking down at the floor and occasionally towards the door, suddenly turned his full gaze on me. His eyes were open wide as he scrambled to me.
“You can't leave. Please don't leave. I can hunt every day, several times, and it will be fine. Please don't leave, Bella. My family needs you here, I need you here.”
“Why? I'm just a human woman.”
Icy hands cupped my cheeks, the ribbons he wore on his wrists brushed against my collarbones as the breeze from the open windows disturbed the curls.
“You are anything but 'just a human' anything, Isabella. I have heard about you from my family while I was away and then you and I spoke last night. You intrigue me, for far more than your blood. You are bright, have charmed my entire family with your loving heart, have a sense of humor, and your caring nature is what brought you to us. Do not let that push you away.”
I stared into his eyes, the golden hue now as warm as butterscotch as our eyes locked. Edward's thumbs began to slowly move, just the slightest movement as they stroked up and down over my cheekbones. His body jerked slightly as he came closer. I could feel his breath, that honeyed lemonade scent that had permeated the leather couch so completely, fan over my face. My eyes closed unbidden; I wanted to see him but the beauty he portrayed was stunning me.
Edward's lips pressed against my forehead. “I know it is your birthday, but please allow me the gift and do not leave.” His words were a whisper that I felt more than heard as he spoke against my skin.
As he pulled back, my eyes opened, yet I felt as if the world had turned upside down. One thing was crystal clear in my mind; if Edward could make the sacrifice of being near me and being in such pain, I could make one of my own. I lifted my right hand, the one Jasper had not pretended to drink from, and rested it on his own wrist, just inches between our faces.
“Drink from me, Edward. Stop the burn. I'll be your donor if you want. That will help everything, won't it?”
My head hit the ground, bouncing off it as lights flashed in my eyes. Edward was stretched out on top of me, my wrist at his mouth. The chair I'd been sitting in was shoved back against the wall while a rather heavy Edward, much heavier than I'd ever imagined, pressed down on me.
“You want me to drink from you?” The voice was a cruel mimic of Edward's.
I nodded, dumbfounded or even dazzled by his close proximity and the pressure was building between my thighs as his body leaned into me almost rhythmically.
I felt his lips curl in over his teeth and he bit down, tugging at the skin on the side of my wrist beneath my thumb so that he pulled but did not break the tissue. Edward jerked his head back, and I looked into eyes as black as pitch. The hand not holding my wrist slid beneath my back and lifted me up against his chest, only a few inches separating us.
“If you're thirsty, Edward, drink. Let me help you.”
My body fell back as Edward dropped me, jumping away to land in a crouch on Carlisle's desk.
“You don't know what you're offering, Bella. I could kill you. I would never forgive myself.”
“Then give me a contract. If you need my blood, let Carlisle take it safely.” I held out my arm. “I've given blood before. It won't be so bad. Let me do this for you, Edward.”
He slowly climbed down and moved over to me and gently grasped my fingers in his. His head was shaking side to side as he spoke.
“Not tonight, love.” He pressed my hand against my chest. “Think it over for at least one night before signing a contract, before offering me your life. Talk it over with your companion.”
“My companion?”
“With Jake.” His voice sounded almost pained as he spoke Jake's name. “Do not make such a life changing decision without letting him try to dissuade you. Even if you were a donor, you could not feed me, Bella. It would be too dangerous, but thank you.”
He kissed my forehead once more and then was gone, with the slightest billowing of a gray trench coat showing around the corner as he left.
Did that go how you expected?
Next chapter, we get to meet James.
The next update may be slightly more than a week away. The babies popped more keys off of my laptop's keyboard and it is currently unusable. Luckily, I had copied this to google docs this morning. I can order a new keyboard next Thursday, but in the meantime, I can write on my desktop or hub's desktop, but they are inconvenient due to the lack of proximity to the babies.
I love you all, but I'm sure as heck not going to edit the 4,000 words of next chapter on my iTouch and add whatever else comes to mind since the original draft written over a year ago. Twitter, the Twilighted Thread, and my blog are all ways to get in touch with me over an anticipated posting date. I will try to keep all of them notified.
Mistress Kitty
Previously on Donation Drive
There were hot tears falling onto my face from Jake as he cried. “I didn't want this for you, my love, my only love. I wanted more for you than this life. I'll make it right. I will. I am taking you to Carlisle. He can answer all of your questions.”
I reached up to Jake's face, his eyes still closed as tears leaked out the corners, matting his thick lashes. He let out a throaty hum as I stroked my thumbs above his cheeks, wiping away his tears. I had seen him cry before, back when we were together, and even in the days prior to there being an “us,” but I had never seen such a pained look on his face. It was as if his entire world was crumbling around him.
“Jake, why don't you just tell me? You're here, and that way we don't have to disturb Doctor Cullen.”
His eyes opened, the deep brown, almost black, watching me as if he was looking at a stranger. His lips parted and I felt the air move as if he tried to talk, but then Jake made a strangled sound as if choking. He tried again, and then a third time before shaking his head.
“I can't, Bells. I just can't. I'm not allowed to.”
Jake released me and went into the bathroom to wash his face. I looked at my finger, the faint silver line already fading out even further. What the hell was going on in this household? There was so much going on; sex with people they aren't married to, odd food allergies, licking my finger and making the cut vanish, and somehow, Jake and our past is tied up in this.
I felt his eyes on me before I heard the knock. Turning, I was unsurprised to find Carlisle standing at the door, Jasper on his heels.
“Why don't you come with me, Bella? My office will be a comfortable place for this discussion. It is not one I was ready to give to you yet; we had hoped it would never occur, but accidents happen, and now the future has shifted.”
Future?
“You'll understand everything by the time we're done, Bella.” Jasper slid his arm around my waist and began leading me down the hall to the corner office that was seemingly tucked away into the shadows. A great wooden cross hung on the wall and Carlisle reached up, gently running his fingertips over the aged wood.
“That must be very old.”
Carlisle turned to me and nodded briefly. “My best educated guess is the early sixteen-thirties.”
“Wow. How did you find something like that?”
Both men laughed.
“That is part of the story I must tell. Bella, if you'll please come inside. Thank you, Jasper. I will call for you if you are needed.”
Jasper tightened his fingers on my waist. “Alice thinks I should be here for the first part at least. She is just now finishing with making arrangements for our guest and his donor and then has other things to attend to.”
“Donor?”
Carlisle nodded. “All part of the story, Bella. We will get there in time; please come in and we can start at the beginning.”
The dark-paneled room had high ceilings, one entire wall was comprised of windows, and another was floor to ceiling bookshelves. A large mahogany desk dominated the room, a leather chair behind it, as well as two side by side in front. Carlisle indicated I should take a seat and he backed up to his desk, sitting on the edge, feet crossed at the ankle. His loafers looked like something my grandfather would wear, not a young doctor.
“I will start with the cross, as it is part of my story. Please, let me finish speaking, and then I will gladly answer anything you ask. First, are you comfortable? I can adjust the room's temperature if you wish, or get you a drink...” Carlisle trailed off as he indicated a small bar with three crystal decanters with various amber-hued fluids and a tray of glasses.
“I'm not thirsty, but thank you. Please, Carlisle. I just want answers.”
He nodded. “Then you shall have them. I pray, for my family's sake, that you can accept what I tell you. We would hate to lose your friendship.”
Jasper reached over and took my hand into his. “You'll be fine, darlin'.” His touch left me feeling relaxed and content. Being near Jasper was always a joy for he brought such a sense of peace with him.
“The cross belonged to my father.”
"He collected antiques?" I asked.
"No. Bella, you spent a considerable amount of time with the Quileute before, am I correct?” I nodded in response to Carlisle's question. “Do you recall their legends?”
“More or less.”
“The one I'm asking about in particular is that of the cold ones. Do you remember that one?”
“They're the enemies of the Quileute. They said they were blood drinkers.”
Carlisle nodded. “My father carved the cross himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."
My eyes drifted to the hall, and I was fairly certain that my face showed some state of my shock. The cross was over three hundred and seventy years old.
“Bella, I just celebrated my three hundred and sixty-second birthday.”
I felt as if I'd been dunked into the ocean waters near First Beach. The world stopped moving as my attention was solely focused on the blond haired, golden eyed, doctor in front of me, who was either lying or an anomaly.
“I was born in London, as you can most likely tell by the accent which still drifts into my speech from time to time. The best I can guess is that I was born in the sixteen-forties. It was before Cromwell, so I can date myself from that period of time. Even as part of the Anglican Church, we were commoners and did not mark time the same way we do now.”
“I was an only child, from what I can remember, and do not recall my mother. I believe she died giving birth to me. My father believed that evil walked the streets of London. He led witch hunts as well as crusades against those he believed to be werewolves or vampires.”
Carlisle paused, watching my face with intense scrutiny. He turned to Jasper and I felt almost drugged, my body becoming sluggish. “My father became a fanatic, much like your own country dealt with during the Salem witch trials. A lot of innocent people burned as the real creatures, the werewolves and vampires, were much harder to catch, when they made themselves visible at all.”
“On my twenty-third birthday, my father put me in charge of his raids against the evil. He quickly became unhappy with my decisions. I refused to kill humans whose only evil were that of sins against the Church and Holy Word.” I could almost hear the reverence in Carlisle's voice as he spoke of what he obviously held sacred.
“One evening, near dusk, I discovered the true vampires my father sought. They came from the sewers, coming out to hunt.” He paused, his eyes locked on some unseen past. “I drew together a hunting party; and they gathered with their pitchforks and torches. We waited at the entrance to the sewers and eventually, one emerged. His eyes were black, as was his hair, and skin so pale I thought he'd never seen the sun. Even city folk who worked indoors, were not so pale as the creature before us.”
“I heard him cry out in Latin, telling the others it was safe, before the wind shifted and he caught our scent. We chased him through the city, determined to burn his wretched form and save others from his fate.”
Jasper spoke up, his arm moving up to rest on my shoulders, fingers gently massaging my neck.
“Carlisle was a very good runner, with great endurance even then. The vampire attacked Carlisle, biting him. The other hunters attacked the vampire and he left two dead, and made off with a third, but left Carlisle behind, thinking him dead.”
Carlisle nodded and raised a hand to Jasper, silencing him.
“I would be burned so that I could die with my soul intact. However, instinct took over, and I found an open cellar, and crawled into it. I buried myself in a bin full of rotting vegetables so I would not be discovered easily. When the pain started, I bit down on a potato, letting its flesh muffle my cries when I could not swallow them back.”
“In three days, it was over, and as the thirst started, I realized what I had become, a vampire.”
Carlisle took a step forward and I pressed myself back into the chair as he came closer. “I'm not going to hurt you, Bella; I just want to check on your vitals. I don't want you going into shock.”
His cold fingers rested on my forehead and then reached for my wrist, checking my pulse.
"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked.
"I'm fine," I assured him, my voice sounding weak to my own ears. He turned to Jasper who then nodded in agreement to a silent question.
He's a vampire. I turned from Carlisle to Jasper who looked at me with the same golden eyes, although his had a reddish orange cast along the edges.
“You're vampires?” I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or run away.
“Yes, we are. Do you remember what else the Quileute legends say about us?”
I struggled to find the right memory of bonfires past. I remembered Jake's warm arms around me, a blanket pulled up over us as he traced circles on my stomach while we listened the stories of their ancestors, the ocean's waves crashing on the shore behind us.
“The treaty?” I fought through a flood of painful memories of hearing about the bonfires from Seth when I'd called to say hello after I'd moved to Florida. “You don't drink from humans.”
“We didn't. We do now, to a degree. Fighting our nature was a dangerous game. We've discovered that when given small amounts of human blood, we are better able to resist its lure. Let me continue with my story so you can better understand what we are, what we have been, and what we are trying to be.”
Carlisle crossed the room and pointed to a painting of London from what must have been his human days. My head began to spin at the thought. Vampires. That meant... Edward was a vampire.
“Yes, Bella, Edward too.” Jasper had moved so that he was squatting in front of me. I didn't realize I'd spoken my thoughts aloud.
“None of us are going to hurt you. You've been here a week and nothin' has happened besides what Emmett did; and sugar, that's mostly my fault. We were sparrin' and I managed to clean take off his arm. He was comin' in to call Leah for an emergency feedin' as he lost so much venom.”
“Venom?”
Carlisle came back to his perch on the desk. “Yes, Bella; we have venom, much like snakes and scorpions. It is what allowed Emmett to heal your finger. It is also what can change a human into one of us. It is also one of the mechanics that allows us to process blood and to heal our own wounds.”
“But what does this have to do with Leah; and I'm assuming you mean Clearwater, Seth's sister?”
They both nodded and Carlisle went behind his desk and sat down in the giant chair.
“When I was first turned, I still held many of my human memories, and luckily something that remained intact when I was changed was my humanity. I loathed what I had become and was determined to destroy myself. I attempted suicide more times than your mind could fathom. I discovered that it is almost impossible to destroy a vampire, despite my desire. In my thoughts, I would prefer to kill myself, and lose my chance at Salvation, than turn to an unlife of destroying God's blessed creatures.”
Carlisle sat perfectly still, his hands now crossed in his lap. It did not seem as if he was even breathing. My eyes drifted to look at Jasper who was still crouched before me.
“Don't look at me like that, Bella. I'm still the same Jasper I was when we stayed up late lookin' at my new shipment of books for my study. Now, I don't have to hide what I am.”
He smiled, his lips parting over sparkling white teeth.
“You don't have fangs?”
The both opened their mouths wide.
“No, Bella. Our teeth are sharper than any blade known to mankind. We do not have most of the Hollywood theatrical physical traits. While some of our ancients are sensitive to the light, the Sun does not harm us, nor do we sleep in coffins, or burst into flame from holy water or garlic.” Carlisle gave a small smile after he finished speaking.
Jasper reached up and turned his hand palm up. “Feel my skin, Bella.”
I shook my head and Jasper reached up and grabbed my hand gently. He rested it on his upturned forearm. The skin was cold, as I'd become accustomed to, but as I'd never been in close contact with one of the Cullens for more than a few minutes, I really touched him. Jasper's arm was smooth as porcelain, and almost as pale, with just a dusting of blond hair on the top of his forearm. The skin itself was hard as rock, it was like polished granite or marble. The longer I rested my hand on Jasper's arm, the more it seemed to almost warm from my touch.
“You really aren't human.”
“No, darlin'. We didn't want to tell you unless we had to. But, there's more to our story, if you are up to hearin' it. You're takin' this remarkably well.”
“I need to hear this.”
Both men nodded, and then Carlisle continued. “I starved myself until I was too weak to move more than a few inches. I had found my way into the forest and was determined to starve myself to death. Now, I don't think that it would be entirely possible, but I might have starved myself into a semblance of a coma until I was fed blood. I was hiding, beneath the boughs of some fallen trees that had formed a lean-to against a cliff face.
“A herd of deer passed by on the way to the river, I think. Their scent, while not as good as that of a human, drew out the monstrous darkness within me, and my strength rallied for one last blow. I lunged at a smaller deer, and drained it dry within moments. I ran for another, and then a third, until I decimated the entire herd.”
“Oh!” I covered my lips as I cried out, thinking of several dead Bambi-like deer with their mothers.
“Bella, haven't you eaten venison before? I know that I did as a human. I found that I could drink the deer blood and avoid killing humans that way. For three centuries, I did not drink from humans. I had exceptional control and had not tasted human blood, but then I took a trip to Italy to see old friends of mine.
“I had spent a considerable amount of time in Italy in my younger vampire days while I studied medicine, art, and any other instruction I could find during the evening hours. I came across others of my kind, much more civilized vampires than those I'd met before. They were still human drinkers, but they had banded together and learned to live within the human community while still separate. I stayed with them for almost two entire centuries. The painting behind you is of my friends and me.”
Jasper went and with reverent hands gently lifted the painting from its hook. “Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods, Aro, Marcus, Caius; all creatures I sincerely hope you never have the opportunity to meet.”
Carlisle pointed to the one Jasper had indicated was Aro. “They rule our kind with an iron fist. For millennia, the single rule was secrecy or death. Now, however, that has changed. The Volturi, my friends, discovered a third way, that was neither vegetarian, as I have likened myself, or their human drinking ways.
“While I was in Italy more recently, within the past five years, Aro had everyone in the castle join together at a table set for fifty. A crystal goblet sat at each place, empty when we arrived. After we had all joined, fifty human servants arrived and poured from heated decanters, a few ounces of animal blood into the cups. After which, each used a knife and slit his or her wrist and allowed a small amount to flow into the goblet. The wrist was then offered to the host to close the wound.”
Carlisle closed his eyes as if pained by the memory. “I felt so weak. I could not allow the human to bleed to death, but also knew Aro well enough that he would drain the worker if I refused to heal her. So I licked across her wound, sealing it immediately. I of course, had already changed Edward, Esme, Rosalie, and even Emmett by this time.”
Jasper rubbed my knee and added, “Alice and I came here on our own a few decades ago. But our story is for another day.”
“I drank the offered... wine, if you will, and felt the surge of power go through me. Human blood is infinitely more powerful than that of an animal for giving the vampire body power. It was at that precise moment, I allowed Donation Drive to be born.”
“Donation Drive?”
Both men chuckled and Jasper moved back to his chair.
“Yes, Bella, Donation Drive. It is what we call our home. We run this like a business and we pay our donors. You've met the ones who live on site. We have to move in about two years or we would build a separate dormitory. Our next location will have a separate building for the donors to live in. We are finding that the female donors,” on the last two words he lowered his voice to a whisper, “have a difficulty in remembering their place. Both Jasper and Emmett are married to their mates.”
Memories of seeing Emmett with Jessica, and then of Jake coming back from being with Rose surfaced. “But I thought... Wouldn't it be confusing to them if they are being treated like sex toys?”
Jasper fielded that question. “There are two types of Donors. General donors are called in emergency for direct feeding or arrange to donate via syringe and live off site, for the most part. Sam is a general donor, but he lives on site and he fills our personal blood bank. Yes, Rosalie, Emmett, and even Alice do take physical relief from their donors, but Esme, Carlisle, and myself do not. My heart, body, and soul belong to Alice.”
But all of the flirting he'd done?
Jasper smiled, more of a smirk actually. “I can feel your confusion. I'm guessing it has to do with your first day here and my actions?” After I nodded, he continued, “I enjoy getting a rise out of you; but I would never do anything to harm my relationship with Alice. Now, I do ensure that Charlotte receives pleasure while I feed from her.”
Carlisle looked disapprovingly at Jasper. “That segues into my next topic, Bella, and one that you are most likely particularly interested in as it it involves Jacob. He is, by the way, outside now. Alice and Rose took him out to the guest house so that he would not be part in this conversation.”
“They're drinking his blood?” I hated to think of them biting him.
“Among other things, sugar. They'll keep your boy distracted for a while. Alice will know when they can come back in.”
“How?”
Both men sat back in their chairs. “Not yet, and for that, I must ask all of my children for permission to share as it involves them directly. The bonded donors, like Jake, have signed a contract with one of my children to be a direct source of blood.”
“But the venom...” I trailed off, my mind grasping at a thousand different ways around the venom that would change my still very warm Jake into the walking dead.
“We do not bite our donors, Bella. I do not actually have a bonded donor, so it is probably best for Jasper to explain this part.”
Seemingly effortless, Jasper tugged my chair so that the arms of our chairs were almost sealed together. Faster than my eyes could follow, he grasped my arm and flipped it so that my wrist was up. His fingers gently rubbed over the veins and arteries until I could feel my heart beating in time with his touch. He flashed a rakish smile before kissing my wrist.
“We can't let our venom enter your bloodstream, but we can still drink. Normally, we use a small blade like this one,” Jasper paused and pulled out a small ring with what looked like a razor edge from a cord around his neck, and then ran his finger over my wrist in imitation, “and then we bring the wound to our mouths and drink. Occasionally, we will just use our fingernail, although I prefer the blade. Rose and Alice, I know, use their fingernails.”
I nearly passed out as his lips touched my wrist and he sucked gently. His lips, and the tip of his tongue which flicked across the base of my palm, were ice cold and firm. Lust began to coil through me and Jasper quickly released me. “Even with such a small contact between us, you can see why sexuality is such a strongly ingrained part of feeding. Add to that the sharing of life force, and the intimacy is magnified a thousand fold.”
My body was in a full state of arousal and I was well aware that Jasper at least knew that. His eyes had darkened and he was leaning closer. There was also the tell-tale sign of his denim tenting along the zipper, and it seemed we were both falling under some sort of spell before Carlisle cleared his throat.
“Sorry, it is still a temptation, regardless of my preferences. Bella, I am an empath. I sense emotions quite clearly; I can also manipulate or project feelings and sensations.”
I felt my lust slowly retreat, a sense of calm replacing it. My body ached, yet even that subsided shortly after.
“Better?”
I nodded, worried of what I might say if I opened my mouth. Part of me wanted to flee the room and run up to Edward's and hide beneath a blanket. Another portion wanted to run from here screaming to Charlie and beg him to tell me it was all a nightmare or hoax. But then, there was that smaller part of me, the part that steadily grew larger and stronger, that had already grown to care for the Cullens and wanted to see where I fit into this. I found my voice.
“What about the general donors, like Sam and Leah you said?”
“They have special qualities, as do Jake and Seth, that I am not liberty to discuss with you. Their blood replenishes rapidly and we do not need to monitor their iron count except in crisis situations. If one of us becomes too thirsty, if we have abstained too long or encountered an injury,” Carlisle paused and looked with amusement at Jasper who simply shrugged and gave a sheepish grin, “we will call on Leah or Sam to do a direct feed. Over time, we've found that they are much more resilient and can withstand the fluid loss of a vampire lost in blood-lust.”
“So, it's a Quileute thing?”
Carlisle nodded. “You could put it that way. However, not all of the Quileute have that trait, just the ones we've gathered here and a few we have in reserve for any dire emergencies. They are paid well to be on retainer should we need them.”
I thought back to Jake's friends on the Res. “Paul, Embry, Quil, Jared, Brady, and Collin?”
They both smiled. “You have a rather well developed mind, for a human.”
“To continue, from our normal bonded donors, we take an ounce or two, sometimes three at a time. It is not much, but when mixed with animal blood, it is enough to sate the inner demon we each battle constantly.”
Carlisle got up and went to a locked cabinet. Inside were several bottles of medication of various prescriptions and amounts. Each shelf had a name written on it, and a set of what I'm guessing are color-coded stickers for prescription. Jake, Seth, and Sam had the least with just one bottle; then Lauren and Jessica with a few, but Charlotte had at least seven that I could see in the front.
“Donors have a tendency towards Iron deficiency anemia, so I must place them on a high dose replacement iron therapy. It changes the taste of the blood to a small degree, but it allows our donors to give more often. We try to only feed from the women twice a week each, although Emmett does tend to need more given his body size, and that is why he has two donors. He alternates who he feeds from, but still waits as long as is safe. For every four weeks of donation, the donor must take off four to six weeks to allow the blood supply to replenish properly.”
“How did you get all of this?”
“I'm a medical doctor, and this is a proper business. Outside of that, we have more money than we can spend, so we would be able to obtain this illegally if required. I prefer to do things by the book however. In addition to the daily regimen medications here, I also have a fully equipped medical office downstairs off of the kitchen with a mini laboratory and more emergent treatment methods available. For the donors' safety, I do utilize ProCrit to boost red blood cell production.”
I nodded, the medical information going over my head, yet my worries were put to rest knowing that a doctor was watching out for my friends. Staring at Carlisle, everything began to fall into place.
“We're the same age, physically.”
His eyebrows furrowed as he pursed his lips in thought. “I guess you could say that, although I certainly hope that I look older than my twenty three years or I will have a hard time passing myself off as a physician or instructor for much longer.” Carlisle's lips began to twitch at the corners as he fought back a smile.
The three of us sat in near silence, only the constant thud of my heartbeat and my breathing disturbing the room. It began to grow uncomfortable.
“So, Carlisle, how did you find your donors?”
He opened up a drawer on his desk and pulled out a large file sorter. “After the Volturi discovered the third way, they stopped being so secretive. Their donors family were made aware of the existence of vampires, as were local authorities. Descriptions of rogue vampires, those who still willfully killed their victims, were to be given to the Volturi. Their own hunters would deal with them.”
“Does my father know? He'd asked me if I was a donor.”
“Yes, he does. We informed him and his only reply after the entire story was that he'd prefer any accidents to be properly logged with the police department instead of hidden or made to look like an accident. It is quite a compliment to the character of both you and your father that you are able to maintain such a levelheadedness over the situation.”
I began to fume. Charlie had lied to me!
Jasper used his ability and artificially calmed me. “Woah.” He raised his hands. “Whatever is going through your head should be spoken, not internalized, or it is just going to fester.”
“Charlie lied to me. I asked him what a donor was, and he lied to me. Everyone has been lying to me, including Jake.”
Both men looked at me. “You're more upset about the deception than the truth?”
“I can handle scary things just fine. I can't change the truth, so I have to accept it. What I cannot tolerate is being lied to or manipulated. I do not like decisions being taken away from me. I was lied to and manipulated into coming back to Forks by Jake's father. The more I'm around Jake now, the more it seems that he lied to me in breaking off our engagement. I don't know which side is up anymore.”
“Esme might be of some comfort to you now, if you will allow her to be.” Carlisle's voice was barely audible as he said his wife's name.
Less than two seconds later, her soft knock announced her presence outside the study.
“Come in, honey,” Carlisle called.
Both men stood as she entered and she gave me a hesitant smile. “Hello, Bella.”
I tried to reconcile what I felt for Esme, a daughter's love for a mother, despite how short I've known her, with the fact that she's a vampire. All I could focus on was how warm she makes me feel and the way she has made me feel at home while here. I felt, in that moment, that her presence was a test of my reaction to the entire situation. I stood and as I held out my arms to her for a hug, I expected to watch her take a few steps and then embrace me; instead, she was instantly wrapping me in bands of steel as I was crushed to her chest.
Esme shook from tearless sobs as she held me. “I was worried we were going to lose you, Bella.”
“What would have happened if I had not taken the news well?”
Esme lowered me back down into my chair and moved to stand behind me, her fingers running through my hair in a soothing manner. Carlisle cleared his throat and pushed back a few stray locks of hair from his forehead.
“We're not secret, but we do enjoy our privacy. We limit knowledge to those involved with the program, their families, and the local law enforcement. Money is typically a great motivator for their silence. It was not enough for our first donors who sought us out. Jessica and Lauren had been traveling in Italy shortly after the vampires came out. They met two of the guards and had been so enthralled with the beauty of our kind, that they signed a short term contract that only held for the duration of their stay. When they returned to Forks, they saw similar traits and contacted me at the University. After a few blood tests and explanations, they signed contracts as general donors.”
“After Alice discovered the Quileute resiliency and Jake became a contracted, or bonded, donor for Rosalie and occasionally Alice, the girls moved in as well. Charlotte I found at work, and Jasper signed for her immediately. Do you have any other questions that I may have forgotten?”
All of the vampires visibly shifted their bodies and then paused, looking out the window. Jasper's eyes brightened and he stood, stretching as if to pop his back. He leaned forward and spoke once more, directly to me.
“I'll be right back. If you need me, just call my name, Bella. Any of us can hear you even whisper, so you don't have to worry about repeatin' yourself.”
His eyes had widened slightly on the word whisper and I thought of any whispers I had made. Only one came to mind.
“No.”
He nodded. “I'm afraid so, sugar. We won't tell him, so don't worry yourself about that. Just a warnin' though, Jake's ears are almost as good as ours and I think he heard too.”
I was mortified. My cheeks turned crimson with embarrassment and I bent in half to hide my face as I tried to think of ways I could just kill myself now. Esme rubbed my back, which just made it worse. They had all heard my conversation with Edward, and then heard me masturbating as I thought of him.
“Oh God.” I felt like I was going to throw up.
“What did you do to her?!” The voice was a roar as I heard the front door slam open. Foot steps thundered on the stairs and I heard more than one piece of wood creak from abuse before Edward stood in the doorway, an awe inspiring sight of fury and worry. I looked into his black eyes and shivered.
He moved even faster than Esme and was on his knees before me. Fingers moved clinically over my arms and legs, before moving up to check my face. “You're unharmed?”
I swallowed hard, and then nodded.
“Everyone out.” Edward's voice was like ice yet there was an acidic tone behind the words that left no room for disobedience. “How did you find out?”
I held out the finger I'd cut. Edward's hands were gentle as they cradled my finger. “Emmett?” I nodded. “I wanted to be the one to tell you. I wanted to tell you the truth.”
“I know.” My voice was rough.
His hands trembled as he released my hand and then scooted back to sit against Carlisle's desk, his head thudding back into the wood panel rhythmically. I slid out of my chair so that I was seated cross legged across from him.
“So, you're a vampire.”
His eyebrows raised and he gave a short nod. “You aren't running and screaming.”
“I have a feeling that you could catch me if I was. You're still the same Edward I spoke with last night and this morning; you just have a different diet than I do.”
“But now you know that I want to kill you.”
I pressed my back into the legs and front skirt of the chair, fear finally creeping through me.
“They did not tell you about singers?”
I shook my head.
“My kind have stories that there are humans who smell beyond enticing to us. Your blood sings to me, it calls me with each pump of your heart. I tried resisting it on your first night here, but I had not fed enough and I nearly drank from you there in the kitchen.”
“That's why you left.”
“Yes.” He took a breath. “Please hold still.” Edward moved to the window and opened several small panels, allowing the humid breeze to flow through.
“Thank you. Your fear was increasing your heart rate and the scent was becoming too strong.” This time, he sat down against the wall, staying several feet away.
I looked at him, really looked at him, and allowed myself to notice the inhuman qualities. His skin was too smooth, sculpted to look so perfect. His eyes were turning back to the shimmering topaz and his lips were the dark rose that haunted my mind with thoughts of what it would be like to kiss him. My eyes drifted down his silvery blue dress shirt sleeves to his hands. Each wrist had a glossy black ribbon edged in metallic silver thread.
Edward's eyes followed mine and then he smiled. “Happy birthday, Bella. I told you I would be home.”
His smile was gentle and made my heart break. Tears began to leak down my cheeks.
“How bad is it, really, for you to be near me?”
Edward drew his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapping around them. His delicately sculpted chin rested upon them. He watched me as he considered how to answer.
“Have you ever burned yourself?” He paused, waiting for my response until I nodded. “That first lick of pain is always the most intense because your body then becomes accustomed to the nerve response. While the agony may not subside, the first dose is always the strongest. Being near you is like that. Each time I breathe, my lungs are set aflame and venom pools in my mouth, scalding my throat as I swallow.”
“I'm...”
“Don't apologize. It isn't your fault. I wanted it to be your fault. I wanted to write you off as just a boring human girl, but I couldn't. I tried to stay away from you, but this morning, all you wanted was me. I couldn't ignore your plea; so, I came. It does not make my body's response to you lessen; I still desire to pierce your veins and drown myself in your blood, but I have gorged myself on animal blood while away for these past few days, and I can withstand the burn... for now.”
I hated myself for causing him such pain and selfishly calling him back into the pain. I should leave. I'll go pack, make my apologies and good-byes, and then be on my way to Charlie's until I can save up for my own place.
Edward, who had been looking down at the floor and occasionally towards the door, suddenly turned his full gaze on me. His eyes were open wide as he scrambled to me.
“You can't leave. Please don't leave. I can hunt every day, several times, and it will be fine. Please don't leave, Bella. My family needs you here, I need you here.”
“Why? I'm just a human woman.”
Icy hands cupped my cheeks, the ribbons he wore on his wrists brushed against my collarbones as the breeze from the open windows disturbed the curls.
“You are anything but 'just a human' anything, Isabella. I have heard about you from my family while I was away and then you and I spoke last night. You intrigue me, for far more than your blood. You are bright, have charmed my entire family with your loving heart, have a sense of humor, and your caring nature is what brought you to us. Do not let that push you away.”
I stared into his eyes, the golden hue now as warm as butterscotch as our eyes locked. Edward's thumbs began to slowly move, just the slightest movement as they stroked up and down over my cheekbones. His body jerked slightly as he came closer. I could feel his breath, that honeyed lemonade scent that had permeated the leather couch so completely, fan over my face. My eyes closed unbidden; I wanted to see him but the beauty he portrayed was stunning me.
Edward's lips pressed against my forehead. “I know it is your birthday, but please allow me the gift and do not leave.” His words were a whisper that I felt more than heard as he spoke against my skin.
As he pulled back, my eyes opened, yet I felt as if the world had turned upside down. One thing was crystal clear in my mind; if Edward could make the sacrifice of being near me and being in such pain, I could make one of my own. I lifted my right hand, the one Jasper had not pretended to drink from, and rested it on his own wrist, just inches between our faces.
“Drink from me, Edward. Stop the burn. I'll be your donor if you want. That will help everything, won't it?”
My head hit the ground, bouncing off it as lights flashed in my eyes. Edward was stretched out on top of me, my wrist at his mouth. The chair I'd been sitting in was shoved back against the wall while a rather heavy Edward, much heavier than I'd ever imagined, pressed down on me.
“You want me to drink from you?” The voice was a cruel mimic of Edward's.
I nodded, dumbfounded or even dazzled by his close proximity and the pressure was building between my thighs as his body leaned into me almost rhythmically.
I felt his lips curl in over his teeth and he bit down, tugging at the skin on the side of my wrist beneath my thumb so that he pulled but did not break the tissue. Edward jerked his head back, and I looked into eyes as black as pitch. The hand not holding my wrist slid beneath my back and lifted me up against his chest, only a few inches separating us.
“If you're thirsty, Edward, drink. Let me help you.”
My body fell back as Edward dropped me, jumping away to land in a crouch on Carlisle's desk.
“You don't know what you're offering, Bella. I could kill you. I would never forgive myself.”
“Then give me a contract. If you need my blood, let Carlisle take it safely.” I held out my arm. “I've given blood before. It won't be so bad. Let me do this for you, Edward.”
He slowly climbed down and moved over to me and gently grasped my fingers in his. His head was shaking side to side as he spoke.
“Not tonight, love.” He pressed my hand against my chest. “Think it over for at least one night before signing a contract, before offering me your life. Talk it over with your companion.”
“My companion?”
“With Jake.” His voice sounded almost pained as he spoke Jake's name. “Do not make such a life changing decision without letting him try to dissuade you. Even if you were a donor, you could not feed me, Bella. It would be too dangerous, but thank you.”
He kissed my forehead once more and then was gone, with the slightest billowing of a gray trench coat showing around the corner as he left.
Did that go how you expected?
Next chapter, we get to meet James.
The next update may be slightly more than a week away. The babies popped more keys off of my laptop's keyboard and it is currently unusable. Luckily, I had copied this to google docs this morning. I can order a new keyboard next Thursday, but in the meantime, I can write on my desktop or hub's desktop, but they are inconvenient due to the lack of proximity to the babies.
I love you all, but I'm sure as heck not going to edit the 4,000 words of next chapter on my iTouch and add whatever else comes to mind since the original draft written over a year ago. Twitter, the Twilighted Thread, and my blog are all ways to get in touch with me over an anticipated posting date. I will try to keep all of them notified.
Mistress Kitty
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I love this story. Such an interesting concept.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is WOW !!! Love it Love it!!! You do such a great job cannot wait for more!
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