Donation Drive 12: Embarrassing Encounters

The door shook slightly from the force of the slam and I watched with satisfaction as the framed photograph of Edward and me fell to the ground. When the glass didn't break, I considered opening the door and throwing the picture at him; or at the least, opening and slamming it again. I knew he'd be standing in the hall waiting until I agreed to see him.
"I can hear your breathing and your heartbeat, Bella. Please, talk to me." Edward's voice sounded thick with tears he could not shed.
"Not until you let me feed you. It's been three weeks, Edward. You need to feed on more than animal blood if you're going to keep this diet. Honor our agreement and drink from me."
A thud sounded against the door and was quickly followed by a second and a third, right around where Edward's forehead would be. "I was only able to feed from you then to save you from James. Without that desperate need to protect you, I am not strong enough Bella. Your blood is the most potent scent to me in the entire world. My love for you is only just enough to keep me from attacking you. Give me time to build resistance to your blood's song and I swear to you I will accept your gift. Please, Love, open the door."
I crossed my arms as I huffed and went to sit on my bed. "It's not locked, and last I checked vampires weren't stopped by a lack of invitation."
"I was raised to not enter someone else's private space without an invitation. It is hard enough for me to overcome my rules of propriety regarding my unchaperoned presence in the room with an unmarried female, let alone those of basic courtesy."
I rolled my eyes as he knocked on the door. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I invited my boyfriend, for lack of a better word, to come in. "Who's there?"
"You know perfectly well that it is Edward."
"How may I help you?"
It was his turn to sigh. "May I please come in, Isabella?"
His exasperation amused me greatly. For once, I held the upper-hand in a situation. "I'm not quite sure, Edward. Would it be proper for us to be unchaperoned?" To tease him, I quietly unfastened the top two buttons of my pajama shirt and leaned back onto my elbows on the bed. "You may come in, Edward."
The door opened just enough to admit him and he froze as his eyes landed on me. "W-Wha-What did... your shirt."
I looked down seeing that about an inch of cleavage was visible. We had not so much as kissed since our bonding. I felt lucky for the few embraces we'd shared and that he held my hand whenever possible. "Well, Edward, I was in the middle of changing so I can go to Charlie's. Carlisle, as you are aware, does not think it would be wise to have me present when Laurent arrives. You said you would take me, but I'm thinking I might have Jasper take me instead if you aren't going to stop frustrating me." I cocked my head, a silent challenge for Edward to come closer. A level of sexual tension had been building for days, no doubt multiplied by Jasper's gift.
"Oh, I'm frustrating you, am I?" His voice was a dangerous purr and those deep plum lips curved into a smile. "I think my lady doth protest too much. I believe," he paused and took a step nearer my bed, "you enjoy my frustrations or you wouldn't have accepted my gift." Between 'frustrations' and 'gift' Edward moved at his natural speed, surprising me to find him that close, his fingers touching the base of my throat where the small sapphire hung almost invisibly. He seemed to like that I wore his necklace, almost too much, as if it marked me his property somehow.
Edward knelt down, his right leg nestled closely against my left, and the other hovered over me, as if determining where to put it. To end his internal struggle, and aid me in moving things one step further than he has normally allowed in our closeness, I reached for his hip and tugged. Those masterfully designed eyebrows lifted in silent question, yet he acquiesced, allowing me to pull his body down so that he was straddling my thighs, hovering close enough I could feel the slight chill radiating from his skin.
"Did you want something, Isabella?"
I nodded and slid my hand from his hip to shoulder, echoing his shiver. "Edward, do you recall how Jasper had us 'make up'?" He nodded, smiling. "I thought I would like to kiss my boyfriend without someone else compelling him to do so."
Light glinted off his teeth as he gave me a shy smile. My mind painted a blush over his cheekbones as he ducked his head slightly.
"Hold perfectly still." Edward's face came closer and my eyes closed against the breathtaking beauty held in the look of concentration he wore. As soft and fast as a hummingbird's wings, his lips touched the top of my cheekbone, and then fluttered along my jaw. His nose nuzzled my neck as he kissed the hollow of my throat, and then over where I knew my pulse was easily seen and felt. Each touch of his mouth made my body press up into his as he settled down over me, and when his lips finally touched mine, I could not still my hands as I stroked up and down his shoulders and back.
Soft strokes of lips on lips, his on mine, and then a hint of my tongue against his Cupid's bow. Edward whimpered and when I expected him to pull away, he parted his lips, beginning to whisper a warning.
"I know, 'be careful of your teeth'." I mumbled without letting any distance form between us, and carefully slid just the tip of my tongue onto his lower lip.
Edward gasped and I opened my eyes as his whole body stiffened. His eyes were black yet the look in them still held warmth, unlike when he wanted my blood. I moved my tongue gently across his lip, and Edward pressed his hips down onto me and I felt it. Cold breath was panted out onto my mouth as Edward opened his lips, dragging them across mine until he sucked at my lip gently.
While he tugged on my upper lip, I suckled his lower, nipping gently. Edward growled, a playful sound instead of a warning, but I was still careful to not do it again. His tongue, sweet as his scent, gently moved against mine, as if he was unsure what to do. I used body language and the soft whimpers I made to let him know I liked it. My fingers moved up to his hair, clenching and tugging the silky steel strands.
My tongue, soon followed by my entire mouth, began to tingle slightly from his venom, but I knew from experience with James, and the lecture from Carlisle on human and vampire relations, that it was normal. Even a slight knick of my lips and tongue would not be enough to start the change. It would take a true bite or a severe gash to do that.
Edward's cock began to press against me rhythmically as we kissed, his tongue echoing the thrusts our bodies began to make. The arousal he instilled with each touch went beyond any I had felt before. My underwear stuck to me, and I could feel my jeans dampening slightly.
He groaned and pulled back before resting his face into my neck, our hips still seeking more friction. Edward sucked along my collarbone, panting loudly, and then let out a moan as he moved against me sharply five times; they were harder thrusts than before. He shook slightly and then began muttering quickly into my neck. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, God. I'm so sorry."
Before I could react, Edward was off me and had moved to the door. "Ju-just wait here." He closed my door, rattling the hinges with the force, and I heard his slam along with his restroom door a second later. A minute passed, long enough for my breathing to return to normal, and I re-buttoned the top two buttons I'd undone, along with the third which had come loose from our activities.
Oh. Understanding began to dawn on me. Had he? The thrusting, followed with the moaning, quickened pace, and then leaving... I had made Edward cum, in his pants, like a school boy. The glee that filled me had me kicking my feet in the air and fighting back the squeal threatening to erupt. I couldn't let Edward know; I didn't want to embarrass him.
I stayed on the bed, though I did sit up, straightening my clothes. As I attempted to adjust my jeans, I tugged the seam against my clit, sending a shiver of desire through my body. I considered taking care of myself, yet embarrassment over the last time I had indulged in self-love and learned the entire house had heard, kept me from repeating the motion. I would wait until tonight, while in the shower at Charlie's and Edward had come back here.
Edward's soft knock sounded on the door, pulling me from my "plans" to masturbate and release the ache I felt from grinding against him. "Come in."
As he opened the door, "sorry" was already forming on his lips. I shushed him with a held up finger and then patted the bed beside me. Edward, moving at his speed, sat at the foot of the bed, facing away. I wasn't going to have any of that and sat behind him, wrapping my arms around his torso. With a deep breath, I took the risk of making him bolt and abandoned my idea of not letting him know.
"Your clothes are different and your hair is damp. Cold shower?"
He shook his head. "Didn't need one."
I hummed against his back, my cheek warming the shirt and flesh covering his shoulder blade. "Why is that? Because the temperature of the water doesn't matter or because you didn't need to calm a bodily reaction?"
He moved away, leaving me holding the air. "I'm sorry. I've never. It's not." He kept starting and stopping his phrases, or perhaps speaking too quickly for me to hear, as he paced across the floor.
"Edward, it's alright. Did you...?" I trailed off, not knowing which words would upset him further.
He nodded and then covered his face with his hands before moving them up to tug on the forelocks of his hair. Edward ignored me as I motioned him to come back, so I went to him.
"Was that your first time?" I asked as I moved into his path. As he nodded once more, I grasped his forearms and looked up into his golden eyes. Edward had not touched a drop of human blood, saying as a bonded vampire he would not drink from anyone but me; so he had been hunting almost daily since. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. You don't ever take care of your own needs?"
Edward shook his head, his eyes locked on some distant point out the window. "There have been no needs beyond blood until you came into my life."
I reached up and fingered a wayward lock that hung down over his temple and was making his eyebrow twitch. "It's a natural part of life. It is an enjoyable part of life. Didn't it feel good?"
He looked down at me, lips pursing. "That isn't the point. It wasn't proper."
"Fuck proper." Edward winced at my tone and language. "I've been made all too aware that sex and feeding go hand in hand. Beyond what I experienced with Jasper when I fed him from a cup, and what I felt from you while you drank from me, I know that the pleasure we feel is a way to make the blood letting a shared experience. I understand your values and restrictions. I also comprehend your worries about my safety. But, Edward, let me give you what I was born to do. I can feed you and help stop the burn. Let my body comfort yours as well."
"I will not have physical relations before marriage. I will remain a virgin until my wedding night so that my bride and I can share that gift together."
Something inside me hardened. I would never be good enough for him if he expected a virgin bride. Perhaps whatever sick plan James had in mind would have been a better end that pining for a virgin vampire who would not want me in that way. Or, I end my contract and go back to Eric and our boring rut of a life. No vampires would bother me there.
"We need to leave soon, Bella. Is your overnight bag packed?"
"It's behind the door. I'm not done talking yet."
He sighed and turned his hands over so that he was gripping my arms from beneath while I held his on top. "Please, I'm ashamed enough that I spent in my pants like a school boy, let alone that I allowed myself to use you like that. You are a treasure, not someone to be treated like that."
I tightened my fingers so that if he had been human I would have hurt him. "You were not using me. If anything, I was using you. I have never felt so wanted in my life as when you held me tightly at the end. To know that I could make you loose your control, to give you such pleasure, makes me happy, Edward. I want us to experience the full bonding."
"Not unless we're wed. Please, can we end this discussion now?" he pleaded with me, his voice breaking like an adolescent's.
"Fine; but we are going to talk more, later."
He grumbled as he released my arms and went for my bag. "I figured you would say that."

~*~

"Do you have to do this?" I whispered, almost breathing it with no sound.
"Yes, I do. Don't fidget; you're making your father nervous." Edward gave Charlie a smile and shook his hand after my dad opened up the door.
"Bells, Edwin."
"It's Edward, Dad."
My father brushed off my correction and ushered us into the house. As I sat down at the table where pizza was already on two plates, and a third place was empty except for a folded napkin, I looked to Edward for an answer to the question I wasn't quite sure how to ask.
"Carlisle had to tell him."
"Yes, Bells, imagine your dear old dad's surprise to hear that you had bonded and not told me." At his words, I felt my cheeks begin to flame. "When Doctor Cullen called to update their donor registry, I'd asked him how you were doing. He not only tells me that Rosalie requested the moving of Lauren to another facility; so I'm contacting a police department in Denali, Alaska about that, when he drops the bomb on me that Edward had taken on a Donor."
I looked to Edward. It was news to me that Lauren was leaving. "They are replacing both of Emmett's Donors with someone less caustic in demeanor. They are moving Lauren first and if Tanya can keep her under control, they'll take Jessica as well. Carlisle is worried that the girls may run their mouths and find themselves the main and final course all in one meal."
Outside of our own dinner times at "Donation Drive," I rarely saw Lauren and Jessica. They had thrown quite the fit when Edward bonded with me but a few words from Carlisle and Emmett had them both sulking but leaving me alone. My boys, the La Push wolves, had been upset but understood. They felt it was their duty to feed the vampires, to protect humans from having to. Sam, on an outing to get a birthday gift for Jake, told me he was glad I wasn't alone any longer. The conversation had turned to he wished I would forgive Jake and take him back as it had been under a geas from the Pack Alpha, and he could not have done anything else.
I knew, deep in my heart, that Jake had never meant to hurt me. But, sometimes, things happen beyond our control- such as Jake's changing- and we just have to accept the way the current has swept us along. If he and I are meant to be, we will find ourselves back together when the time is right. At the moment, Edward needs me, and I need him.
"Chief Swan, Sir, I would like to ask your blessing to court your daughter. Not only is Isabella my personal bonded Donor, but I would like to be her boyfriend."
My father choked on the bite of pizza he'd just taken.
"I... I don't know what to say. Bells? Do you want to be 'courted' by Edward?"
Both men looked to me for an answer. I mumbled out an answer to Edward as I kicked his leg. "After earlier, I'd say that you'd better be my boyfriend." As he made his own choking sound, I told Charlie that I was already dating Edward as far as I was concerned.
"Well, then, fine, date. Just don't make me a grandfather too soon. Wait, can your kind do that?"
Edward looked taken aback, or wished to shrivel up and die; both, possibly. "Some can, Chief Swan. It depends on the male of my species' maker. If his maker had the ability, so does he. Jasper does not. Emmett does, although he claims Carlisle remedied that. I have blocked their minds regarding such a procedure, so I am not certain."
The rest of our dinner went in an uncomfortable silence until my father finally blurted out, "Are you going to drink from her or not?"
We spoke at the exact same time.
"I think it's time for us to go upstairs while you watch the game at Billy's, Cha-Dad."
"No, Sir, not yet. I am building up my tolerance to the potency of her blood so that I do not overfeed and harm her."
Charlie just shook his head and laughed. "Go on up. I'll clean up down here before I leave. You two are acting like a married couple with all your looks, finishing sentences, and talking over one another. Just wait till your mother hears about you having a boyfriend. You may want to change your phone number now, Bells!" he shouted up after us as we fled further embarrassment for the safety of the stairs.
As we entered my room, Edward sat down in my chair, eyeing the bed like it was going to try to bite him. I scooted to the far side of my bed and looked repeatedly from him to the bed, causing him to sigh and then smile. He emptied his pockets; wallet, keys, cell phone, pocketknife, a small notebook with pen, and a small silver vial. I knew that his venom was inside the vial, along with a syringe that he took out of his pocket while I watched, in case of a "biting accident." If he drank too much and did not have time to get me to Carlisle, venom directly to my heart had a chance to save me.
I watched as he toed off his shoes and then lay down beside me, arms crossed beneath his head while he stared at the ceiling.
"I have a girlfriend. It is not as odd as I'd expected; though the term girlfriend cannot encompass what you mean to me. I do not think any human language can express the emotions within a vampire's heart."
His words sparked something, a memory from my birthday, and I questioned him on what he'd said before hanging up the phone.
"Let your birthday be one of joy as it marks the day you entered this world."
I shook my head. "No, after that. You said you were thinking aloud. What did you say, Edward?"
"For it is the day my salvation was birthed."
I moved slowly to rest my head on his chest and smiled as he tentatively rested one hand atop my hair, stroking through the strands. We laid there in a moment of pure contentment as I pondered his words. There was little I could offer him in exchange for such a heart-felt confession. "Edward, I saw you before I moved to your home. At Forks High, on my first day of classes, I saw you through the door as your family left. You didn't come back. Why did you leave?"
His fingers paused in their soothing movement and then started once more. "Alice saw something. This was before we could reveal our identities. She saw that something was going to happen. Alice had blocked her mind from me so that I could not see. Now, I feel that she saw you and that I would have come across your scent, destroying whatever came between us. I almost killed you that first day you arrived." His fingers moved to my face and carefully turned my head so that I was looking at him. "I wish I had known you then, so I would not have wasted more of my life without having love."
I looked into his eyes that shone with venom and arched my back so that I could kiss him chastely. "I don't want you to waste another day without drinking. Since the first day I arrived, and looked into your eyes, it's always been you. I love you. I know you're scared; I am too, Edward. But, please, let me honor our Bonding and feed you. Let me love you."
He kissed me, hard yet chaste, and then shook his head while he laughed slightly. "I love you. I love you!" A second kiss ended with him pulling my whole body onto his as his tongue slid past my lips and I tried to move his hands to the exposed skin at my waist.
"Not now, Bella. Not yet." His softly spoken chastisement was filled with regret. I could feel the sign of his arousal rising between us and rocked against him. Edward's hiss was one of pleasure and pain as he bit down into his lip. I moved again and reveled as he reached for the headboard and tried to find a place to hold on. "Bella, we need to stop." I could hear his teeth grinding as I rotated my hips a final time before sliding off of him to the side of the bed.
A buzzing from the table had both of us looking at my desk where Edward's phone was vibrating. I fumbled for it and managed to hit the release on his knife by mistake. The "out the front" blade was sharp and caught the soft flesh at the base of my thumb. Blood began to well up in a thin line. "It was an..." He never let me get out "accident."
Edward latched onto the cut like a newborn does at the breast. The rhythmic swallows reminded me of our earlier thrusting and wished that I could feel him like that again. As his eyes darkened, fear began to build.
"Edward, let go. You've had enough."
He growled loudly, the vibration making my hand ache as he clenched it more firmly to his lips.
The scent of metallic salt filled my nose, making me as dizzy as the blood loss was. "Enough, Edward, please. You're taking too much."
"Never enough." He let go of the cut to lick his lips, leaving a trail of blood, and then wrenched my wrist towards him, pulling me into his lap. "Mine." He began to squeeze my hand and release, milking the blood up to the wound as he drank. The room began to turn on its side and sleep beckoned.

Donation Drive 11: Sultry Sapphire

I felt fire go down my arm and then onyx eyes met mine, a silent plea for forgiveness in them, as Edward pulled his thumb away from my skin, blood dripping from the nail.
When I did not respond, he locked his lips around the cut he'd made and began to drink. The pull was soft, yet I could hear him swallowing. Each tug on the skin was felt on my lips, breasts, and between my thighs. It felt as if he was touching me everywhere at once. Once my mind had caught up to what Edward was doing, that he had bonded with me, it was over. Edward threw back his head; shades of amber and burgundy were highlighted in his hair from the firelight. Twin rivulets of blood ran down on either side of his mouth; his lips were stained as if he were a child eating berries. His eyes were dark red as they met mine and stayed locked with my gaze as his tongue, warm from my blood, lapped at the jagged line he'd created.
"She's mine now, James." Edward's words were the softest whisper, one that barely reached my ears, yet James answered with a roar. I felt myself being shoved backwards, and once Edward saw that I had landed on the love seat, he crouched and then sprung for James.
Bodies blurred; I saw a hint of auburn and then blonde as the men circled one another. A crash and then its twin nearly deafened me as their bodies collided. It was faster than my eyes and brain could keep up with, yet I could not look away. A sickening crack, followed by a howl of pain that I knew came from Edward, had me on my feet despite being unable to do anything more than distract him from the fight.
I stepped forward, hoping I could procure James' pocketknife which had fallen to the floor in his struggles with Edward. Neither man saw me as I picked it up. The knowledge that I'd fed Edward, knowing my blood was making him faster and stronger, possibly fast enough to save his life- and mine- gave me the strength to do what I knew was stupid. If I could just bleed a little, it would distract James and hopefully awaken the dark beast inside Edward. He needed to become that feral monster in order to win.
The knife felt colder than Edward's mouth as I held it to the palm of my hand and began to clench around it, when the air was knocked from my lungs and I felt myself going backwards. A scream started in my chest but a cold hand cupped my mouth and Jasper's sultry southern whisper started in my ear as he carefully unfurled my fingers.
"I've gotcha, darlin'. Don't do something stupid like that and distract my brother from his prey. Alice says it's all gonna be alright. This needs to happen. But you, you almost went and pulled a foolish stunt and got yourself killed. Edward is gone right now; all you have right there are two very pissed off vampires fightin' over a meal. Sorry, sugar, but that's all you are at this moment to them." Jasper paused and kissed my forehead before picking me up to cradle against his chest. "The fight's about to move outside and I know you'll want to follow."
"How do you...?"
Jasper didn't let me finish my question. "I know fightin' vampires, Bella. James is losin' his footin' in the parlor so he's lookin' for any place to garner an advantage."
A growl of rage came from James and I felt a hollow ache in my chest as I considered what I had been building with him. "He's going to be alright, isn't he, Jasper? They'll fight, and then stop when it's clear who will win."
The bone-chilling laugh coming from the one Cullen, or rather Whitlock, to always protect me, filled me with a sense of dread that I was looking at the funeral of several loved ones. Someone would die, possibly both men, and it was my fault. "Stop them, Jasper!"
At my scream, the front window shattered in an explosion of glass and wood as the frame gave way beneath Edward's back. James lunged out after him and Jasper followed, using the door to keep our distance. "Sweetheart, I'd love nothin' more than to give that weasel of a nomad a lesson and strip his hide for what he was intendin' with you, but Alice told me, as if I didn't know it already, that I have to protect you."
The men paused as Edward bellowed and I saw James' mouth was locked over Edward's forearm. Venom dripped onto the ground, the moonlight cast a metallic sheen to it as it coated the grass beneath them.
"Let him go, James!" My scream sent several roosting birds off into the skies and then there was a soft gasp behind us that made Jasper pause. It made everyone pause.
"The girl dies if you don't stop, James." Alice came down the front steps, Victoria in her arms, her neck pulled back sharply as Alice spoke into the skin that had a few red lines from Victoria's fingers pulling at Alice.
James looked at Victoria and then to me, and shrugged. "Let her. This," he paused and gestured between Edward and himself, "is worth a thousand human..." He didn't get to finish his statement.
I watched, as if it all happened in slow motion, as my bonded vampire seemingly kissed James behind the left ear and then whispered to him. The word "human" turned into a growl and then the sound of metal being shredded as Jasper turned me so that I could not see.
"Don't look, sugar. You don't wanna watch this; it ain't pretty." He brushed my hair back from my face while Victoria screamed in Alice's arms; waves of calm wrapped around me. "I know you had feelings for him, weak though they were, and you need to remember him how he was to you. Don't remember James as a monster, even though he was one. Don't let him poison you to us."
Alice walked past us, carrying a screaming and struggling Victoria. She did not so much as look at me, but called Jasper's name softly. "I'm taking her to Carlisle for a sedative. We'll have to call Laurent to retrieve her."
Jasper nodded and then moved to the porch swing, still refusing to let me turn my face away from his neck. I breathed in the pinon pine, musk, and sweet cedar scent, letting it calm me more than his emotional manipulations could. Above all, Edward was okay. I kept telling myself that. Everything would be okay as long as he was.
Jasper's chest rumbled slightly beneath me and I felt his jaw moving. Jasper stopped and began to whisper to me once again. "Edward is takin' the remains further out. They have to be burnt. I've told him to go out and hunt once done. He needs to ground out the energy pulsin' through him to keep you safe. Now, he can still hear you from where he's at, so why don't you tell him you're okay."
"Ed-Edward," my voice was shaky to my own ears, so I paused to take a deep breath as Jasper set me down on the swing beside him. I looked out to where I could see a glow of fire in the darkness, purple smoke rising above it. "Edward, I'm fine. My arm is a little sore but it's okay. I know that it wasn't a planned feeding so it was harder than normal."
I barely registered the blur coming toward me as cold hands wrapped around my wrists. "Forgive me, even if I must beg every day for the rest of eternity, for taking the choice to bond away from you. It is wrong of me to want you like this, Bella. It is not safe for you. I cannot trust myself to be safe for you. Regardless of the facts presented to me by your mere existence, and the pain I feel in being near to you, I could not let him have you. "
Edward's glorious hair was covering my hands; parts were matted with venom, others with mud, so that his head, bowed down into my lap, looked like a gory patchwork quilt. His shirt was gone, and I saw smudges of dirt across his carved alabaster back. Edward seemed so fragile as if he could crumble like greenware pottery if touched too hard.
"Bella, when I heard you tell James you wanted to feed him, I knew God was finally delivering judgment for the lives I'd taken during my rebellious years. Oh, God! My love, he was going to kill you. I couldn't let that happen. I had to stop you from allowing him to destroy you."
His fingers began to clench around my wrists, causing fire to lance up my arms. Edward released me as I gasped. "I'm nothing but an abomination. I'm not strong enough to stay away. When Alice told me I needed to face my inner demons instead of running away, I came back for you. Even now, I hurt you while all I try to do is apologize. Bella, I don't know how to love you, only that I do."
He looked up at me, the face of a fallen angel. Red hair fell into his eyes, matching the dull red his eyes had become. "I love you, Isabella Marie Swan." He whispered it, as if to speak it aloud would break the bubble of truth that left his lips. Edward twisted my hands over, and put a necklace with a small sapphire set as a rain drop into my upturned palms. "Will you be my bonded Donor?"

Donation Drive 10: Bonded Betrothal

I couldn't believe my ears. James wanted me. He really wanted me- as his donor. I would be helping others by feeding him as often as my health allowed. But, what about the Cullens? Victoria? How would this work? James stopped my questions with a gentle kiss. He stepped back, smiling, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I would spend the rest of my life as his donor, however long that ended up being.
“I want to drink from you, dear one. I do not have a bonding gift with me, but I will give you anything you want. Let me open your vein and drink directly from you. I want you as my own.”
I didn't care about the bonding gift. There was nothing I needed that the Cullens had not already provided. James would take my mind off Jake and Edward. He was all I needed. He was all I would ever need beyond food, drink, clothing, and shelter from the weather. As a wealthy vampire, he could, and would, provide those for his donor.
When I asked about Victoria, James stroked one thumb down my face. In that moment, I could almost feel his affection for me as if Jasper was near and projecting what he felt coming from James. His eyes were soft as he gave me a serene smile. His dirty blonde hair was coming out of his ponytail, tendrils hung around his face. James looked at once vulnerable and deadly as he turned to look at the stairs.
“I will trade Victoria to the Cullens in exchange for your contract and pay any cost Carlisle demands.” There was a tone to his voice that put an edge on his words. I could not discern where his thoughts were, but it felt as if I'd gone from being something he desired to being a pawn in a game. Was this what I wanted? Could I live with this decision? He would not let me feed Jasper again, that much I knew. Could I give up my emotional bond with Jasper? What about my feelings for Edward?
“Just because Edward doesn't want you, does not mean I don't. I see how strong you are, how beautiful, sweet, and amazing you are as a human. I want you with me for as long as you'll have me, Bella. Bond with me. Feed me. Share your life with me.”
James leaned in, kissed my neck, his tongue outlined where he wanted to drink, and his hands came up to cup my breasts. The shivers that went through me were as emotional as they were physical. He saw me as more than just a meal. James, the hunter, wanted me. I would let him have me. My cheeks ached as I smiled at him. I couldn't have imagined a better proposal, even one of being his donor, not a lover, though I knew that would soon come.
“Yes, James.”
I was lifted up and crushed to James' bare chest, the chiseled planes of his abs were like hugging the statue of David as he swung us around in circles. My ice cream was abandoned as James carried me into the living room to the overstuffed couch. He sat and draped me over his lap and the arm of the couch.
“You're sure about this, Sweet cheeks?” James' fingers began to rub up and down my arm before stroking my neck and shoulders. It was sweetly romantic despite the knowledge he was going to cut me soon.
“Yes, I want to be bonded to you, James.”
He stared off into space, and for a moment, I wondered if he regretted choosing me. Perhaps he wouldn't like my blood. Just as I opened my lips, he began to chuckle, shaking me slightly with the movement.
“Babe, you know, I'll change you one day. Whenever you're ready to stop aging, just let me know. It'll hurt like a son of a bitch for a couple days; but then, just you, me, the open road, and eternity. We can go anywhere and do anything we want. The world is ours, Bella. We can each pick out a lovely little donor. For that matter, I can buy Jake from the Cullens if you want to drink from him. I'll let you fuck him. I sleep with my donors and won't stop you from doing the same with yours.”
I knew that James was also saying I couldn't stop him from it. I would not be his “only” and if Jake and I were to have a feeding relationship, I doubt that I could stop myself from seeking out other forms of relief from Jake. I could not do that to Jake. He would never want to see me as a vampire; most likely he'd rather I died than be changed, no matter the circumstances.
James' cheeks rounded out as he smiled and then he leaned toward me, his forehead resting on mine. His icy fingers began to rub up and down my arm as he sucked at the flesh of my neck. I wanted to take him inside me while he fed. James was reawakening my lust with each pass of his tongue across the edge of my earlobe and each finger nail that gently scratched down my forearm, leaving a white – then red- line in its wake.
“Tell me, Bella,” he murmured into my ear. “Do you want to feed me?”
I was going into this with my eyes open. I knew it would not be sunshine and roses. It would not be the moonlight and orchids I could expect from Edward, nor the twilight runs through the woods and sunflowers I knew would come with loving Jake. This would be a life of service, to James and then to the monster he would one day awaken within me. The good moments and the purpose I would fulfill, each feeding would save a human life; those would make the price worthwhile.
“Yes, I want to know my blood is helping you to live.”
I trusted him to do this. I knew what it felt like with Jasper; and was aware the pain would be sharper without the empathic gift. James nodded, his eyes darkening as he let the blood lust set in. In a blur, he pulled out his pocket knife and then paused, giving me a smile. It reminded me of a cat catching a bird, that small twitch to his lips as if he knew the punchline to a joke I was not privy to.
With a flip of his thumb, the knife opened, and I jumped slightly before his free hand stroked my hair. “It'll just hurt for a moment, Babe.”
He pressed the blade against my arm and I closed my eyes. I focused on all but the pain (and blood) that was about to come from my wrist. There was the slightest pinprick of pain and then...crash! The front door slammed open, the glass shattering on either side. I jerked my arm from the blade as I saw Edward standing in the doorway, half-crazed. His shirt was torn from his body in places, buttons missing, and smudged with dirt. His clothes were soaked from the rain, and I could see in the dim-light that his eyes were the darkest black.
Edward looked to James and then to me. I held my arms to my chest, not wanting James to open my veins in front of Edward. I did not want to risk his control.
I heard a growl and did not know which man it came from, only that it meant trouble. Faster than I could see, even quicker than James, Edward wrenched me from James' lap and into his arms. I felt fire go down my arm and then onyx eyes met mine, a silent plea for forgiveness in them, as Edward pulled his thumb away from my arm, blood dripping from the nail.
When I did not respond, he locked his lips around the cut he'd made and began to drink. The pull was soft yet I could hear him swallowing. Each tug on the skin was felt on my lips, breasts, and between my thighs. It felt as if he was touching me everywhere at once. Once my mind had caught up to what Edward was doing, that he had bonded with me, it was over. Edward threw back his head; shades of amber and burgundy were highlighted in his hair from the firelight. Twin rivulets of blood ran down on either side of his mouth; his lips were stained as if he were a child eating berries. His eyes were dark red as they met mine and stayed locked with my gaze as his tongue, warm from my blood, lapped at the jagged line he'd created.
“She's mine now, James.” Edward's words were the softest whisper, one that barely reached my ears, yet James answered with a roar. I felt myself being shoved backwards, and once Edward saw that I had landed on the love seat, he crouched and then sprung for James.

---

A/N: Thank you so very much for waiting patiently on this chapter. Here is James' POV of the past two chapters to give you an idea of his thoughts.
James POV
End of chapter 9, beginning of chapter 10.
Hate was all I knew as Emmett kept me from my quarry. I couldn't fight his strength. I couldn't fight the ennui being emitted by the empath. Despite my ire, I couldn't find the interest in moving, had I been able. The wolf snapping at me was a threat, yet all I could do was remain under Emmett as the wolf retreated into the hall under the demand of his Alpha who'd come in to join our fight. Sam hadn't shifted yet so he was not worthy of my notice except for how his blood would taste as I ripped out this throat for being one more barrier between my prey and me.
I'd told Bella I was a hunter, and I had not lied. I was a hunter, and I was hunting the best way to hurt the Cullens. They'd taken my Alice from me. I could have handled the empath alone but they kept evading me, going into larger cities where I couldn't follow as easily. I trailed their scents to the Cullens' home and Carlisle had threatened to contact the Volturi if I made a move for my singer. Aro told me if I waited, I would find someone even sweeter.
I finally had. No, I'm not saying that her blood is sweeter; I will never feel a compulsion like that for my dear, sweet, Mary Alice's blood. Bella's blood is dearer though, for the pain I can cause when I drain her. I will make her love me. She wanted me, I could smell it. I will turn that to my favor, bond her to me, drink from her until she is weak, and then turn her if I wish, or simply kill her and leave her body for Edward to find. Better yet, I will wait until I know Edward is close; I will drain Bella when he is stuck watching my thoughts, and then I shall take her body with me, and hide pieces all around the world.
No, James. Make them all suffer. I will change her. She will love me. I will take her from him by claiming her humanity. I will change her, and then tear her body into a thousand parts, and put each into a golden box and bury them in my secret places. Edward will receive a box with her heart inside, my venom having atrophied it at last. Only when he has found all of them, will I send him the clue to find her head. Those final pieces shall stay with me. I will burn them as he approaches, ending my game.
Anger sank back into me as Jasper released his powers from me, focusing onto Bella as she shook in his arms. “Shh, I've gotcha now, darlin'.” His words seemed to have a stronger effect than his energetical manipulations, and I growled as she twined herself around him. Jasper began speaking too fast for my Bella to hear. “I never shoulda left you alone after feedin' from you. Alice told me that it would have been better to feed directly, breaking the law, and then claimin' you more physically, instead of leavin' you to the hunter. I thought we were safer this way, Sugar.”
I laughed silently to myself. Bella wasn't safe anywhere. I could track her scent anywhere, if they did manage to get her away. Human girls were easy enough to manipulate; if I could simply talk to her once away, I could lure her to me. A special trap would have to await her in the end, something more elaborate than any I'd pulled off before. Bella will break for me, emotionally and physically, until I can leave her spirit completely shattered.
James POV Chapter 10 end and into chapter 11
Bella's tongue was hot as fire as it ran along my abs and down across the ridge of my hip bone. She'd long since licked up all of the caramel and was moving lower, working up the nerve to pull down my jeans which were already unbuttoned. I smiled smugly as Bella licked her lips. She was nervous, still not entirely sure she wanted to do this.
“Please,” I let out a breathy sigh. She looked up at me, apparently seeing something in my eyes, and then parted her lips, taking my length into her mouth. I was close already from knowing that the hunt was almost over and it took little to send me over the edge. Being silent would have ruined my fun, so I let out a loud grunt as pleasure coursed through me, growling out her name along with several expletives. I heard Emmett laugh to Jasper about wishing he had defied Edward's wishes and claimed her as his own. Like I would have handled that well. I'd have added Emmett to my list of targets.
Yes, when Edward had called this morning saying he was coming back, determined to fight his own impulses for Bella, I upped my plan's timetable. Victoria knew that if we were caught, we would both be destroyed by the Volturi. While her senses were not as acute as a vampires, my blood slave has instincts I have learned to trust. When I heard her complaining about there not being a show on “The Food Network,” I knew that something, or someone, was coming.
I pulled Bella to her feet and enjoyed watching her attempt to shimmy out of her pants. With a quick flick of my wrist, I held both hands in front of her. “Bella, as wonderful as this is, I think we should stop. I need to eat before we can continue.” She looked up at me, her lips pursing, and I could easily see her unveiled anger and jealousy. Bella was playing right into my hands, making the hunt almost too easy. “No, my feisty little Bella. Let me drink from you, not from a cup.”
Her eyebrows lifted, her mouth falling into an 'o' of shock. “I want to drink from you, dear one. I do not have a bonding gift with me but I will give you anything you want. Let me open your vein and drink directly from you. I want you as my own. I will trade Victoria to the Cullens in exchange for your contract and pay any cost Carlisle demands.” Victoria being pissed would be worth this game.
She was still undecided so I played my last card. “Just because Edward doesn't want you, does not mean I don't. I see how strong you are, how beautiful, sweet, and amazing you are as a human. I want you with me for as long as you'll have me, Bella. Bond with me. Feed me. Share your life with me.” I used the words Jasper had said, the ones that had made her melt after he fed from her.
Bella's face lit from within, her smile bright. “Yes, James.”
~*~
I whisked her away into the living room, her body resting on me gently as I slowly massaged her arm. I kissed along her neck until I heard the distant screeching of brakes on gravel. Edward was within hearing range. Good. “Tell me, Bella, do you want to feed me?”
“Yes. I want to know my blood is helping you to live.”
I smiled as she looked up at me with all the trust in the world. Edward's car crashed against a tree, and I could hear him swearing as he ran for the house, his legs faster than his car could go. I had just enough time to seal the deal. I pulled out my pocket knife, and slowly hid my thoughts deeper from Edward's hearing. I had the knife tip against her forearm, skin dipping slightly, when the door slammed open. Bella jerked away from me as Edward stood before us; his shirt was tattered, his eyes were jet black, and all I could think of was that the fight of my existence was about to occur. I couldn't wait.

Donation Drive 9: Truth and Treats

“How's your back?”
James handed me the carton of ice cream and then inspected the sore and slightly bruised skin of my back. When Jasper and Emmett flew into my bedroom to save me from what they thought was Jake losing control around me, everything had become a blur. Jasper flying toward me,
Emmett pinning James, Sam in the doorway calling off Jake; my Jake, a werewolf, a shape changer, a Skin-Walker.
“I've got ya, Sugar. You're safe now.” Jasper's words were a whisper as he wrapped his body around me and rolled us to the ground. I knew the moment I saw him, without him having to speak or use his gift, that I was safe. Jasper would face running into an inferno to save those he cares for.
Pain crippled me for a moment, my ribs pushed almost to the breaking point, as Jasper flipped over, pinning me to the space between his body and the wall. I felt his lips press against the top of my head, the cold of his breath as he breathed over me, and then the lethargy began. I could feel him speaking, the slight hum of his lips on my temple. James let out a growl, pulling me from the sleep that Jasper was trying to send me into.
“Just sleep, Bella. It will all be over when you wake.”
I took one last look beyond Jasper's arms and saw Jake, or what was Jake- the wolf, and then everything faded away.
When my eyelids rose once more, it was to Jasper holding me in Carlisle and Esme's bedroom. “She's awake, Esme.” My eyes focused on his face and the gentle smile he wore, despite eyes shadowed in the deepest purple I'd seen in my time with the Cullens. A small line of silver ran down Jasper's cheek, visibly fading as I watched. “Do you have the rag?”
Esme walked into my still limited field of vision, my head cradled firmly between Jasper's chest and arm. “Hi there, Sweetheart. How are you feeling?” She gently ran a warm wet cloth over my forehead and it came off bloody. Her lips began to move and then she shook her head.
The grip on my head lessened and I watched, still groggy with sleep, as Jasper licked his finger and then rubbed it across the wound. Esme gave him a look, the maternal arched eyebrow, and her lips blurred slightly to my vision once more.
“I didn't see why I should let her bleed. That small amount of my venom won't hurt her.” Jasper gave me a small smile and kissed my forehead before holding me more tightly against him. His breathing pattern shifted to alternate mine so that I was perfectly comfortable against him. We stayed like that for over an hour, until Jasper was certain I was safe to return to Jake's room.
“You're smiling, Sweet cheeks. What is going through that pretty little head of yours?”
If I told James I was thinking of Jasper, he would become violent again. When he had walked into the hall to see Jasper carrying me Jake's room, James had growled more loudly than I'd ever imagined a sound being. I was beginning to feel more like a prize, or even a piece of meat, than myself.
“I was thinking of your smile when I told Jake I was choosing you.” Since, I can't have Edward, I added to myself. He wants me to be with you, so I will.
James put the two containers of ice cream topping into the pan of hot water and then pulled me to him using the belt loops on my jeans. “You're mine now, Babe. I'm not going to let any of them forget it.” I forced myself to smile, willing my emotions to match what I wanted them to. I wanted to care about James. He's nice to me, funny, yet doesn't coddle me or expect me to do exactly as he says. James will take care of me like Edward said he would.
I soon forgot everything else as James' fingers moved from my waist to my hair and tugged firmly, pulling my head back, tipping my face upward, and then he kissed me. His venom was icy and sweet as his tongue slid against mine, and my mouth was both numb and slightly tingly at the same time. James broke away and gave me a harsh look as he pushed me back.
“I thought I told you to disinfect yourself after kissing that mutt.”
“I did.” His responding“harumph” pissed me off and I started for the stairs, my mind drifting to my earlier encounter with Jake.
“So, you're a wolf,” I shakily whispered as Jake walked into the room, only clad in a pair of black boxer briefs.
“It started a few months before I left. I couldn't control the shifting. The pain was constant. Anytime a male went near you, I wanted to rip him apart. Hell, I almost ripped Embry apart the first time he came near after I started shifting. The wolf, the darkness inside me, sees you as my mate still. I'm yours, Bells.”
“You left me, Jacob.”
He shook his head, his eyes never leaving my face. “I didn't want you to know, Bells. I wanted you to be kept outside this world and then Sam forbade me to say anything to you about it. I didn't want this for you, Honey; I wanted you to have a normal life.”
His overly warm hand came up and cupped my cheek, his thumb rubbing away a wayward tear I hadn't been aware of shedding. “Don't cry, Bells. I'm okay, especially now that you know. You and me, we can go back to normal now. I...”
I held up my hand, cutting Jake off. “There is no 'you and me', Jake.”
“I broke up with you, ending everything to keep you safe. I can control myself now; I can get outside if the change starts coming. I can keep you protected from myself now. Those first years of shifting, I couldn't. It was so hard to not hurt you.”
Hurt me? My mind drifted to Emily, and her scarred face. “Sam and Emily?” I asked. Jake nodded. Everything came crashing down on me. My Jake had never wanted to leave me. He loved me. He never stopped. A glow pulsed in my chest and I saw his eyes twinkle in time with it. We were linked, he and I, but then I remembered the pain he'd put me through.
“You lied to me, Jake. You hurt me more than any accident could have. I can't, Jake. Not now, not ever. You left me. You destroyed me, Jake. I never thought I'd care about anyone or anything again.”
The skin on his forearms began to quiver slightly and Jake backed off, taking a few deep breaths. “It's Edward, isn't it?”
Edward. Another man who thought he could manipulate me into doing what he thought was best. “No, it's not Edward. It's not anyone who wants to control my choices. I've chosen James. He wants me for me, not what he can make me do.”
Then there was heat, everywhere. Jacob had crushed me to him, our bodies lurching from their positions to land leaning against one another, his body curving so that our lips met. It was so easy for me to give in, and he accepted. Jake's hand cradled the back of my head, his fingers bending to clasp my hair, holding my face to his. The other slid down my arm to capture my hand and lifted it up to his neck. When I was kissing him back, Jake's hands moved to my ass and lifted me up and into him so that my feet were dangling, our tongues exploring each other's mouths. With two steps, he had me pressed into the wall, and I let the fire of his touch seep into me.
Our lips parted instinctively as we gasped for breath and Jake dragged his tongue along the line of my jaw and then nipped at my earlobe. “I want you, Bells, always. That has never changed. You are my everything.” I opened my eyes and saw those deep chocolate eyes that I had spent so many nights looking into as we made love. As my lashes closed again, Jake's hands slid up my sides to cup my breasts and thumbs pressing against my nipples. “Feel me, Bells; feel how good we still are together.” His hips began to thrust against me, his hard cock rubbing against the rapidly dampening space between my thighs. My pussy ached for him; I knew what we felt like together and the carnal side of me wanting nothing than to have him rip my pants from me and take me up against the wall.
Jake ducked his head and bit my nipple through my shirt. I arched against his face, needing more. When his thumb and index finger began to pinch the other, my mind drifted to James. “No, Jake. I can't. I told you; I'm with James. I choose him.”
“No. Please, Bells. Choose me, choose Eric, fuck, choose Edward. Not James. Please, not James. If you go to him, I can't protect you from the hunter.”
“She chooses me, Mongrel.” I hadn't seen when James entered the room, but the smile he gave me when our eyes met was at odds with the venomous tone he used in speaking to Jake. “Get away from my woman.”
James' hands were stone shackles about my wrists as he caught me. “Don't go, Babe. I'm sorry; I'm an asshole. Don't let the butterscotch go to waste because I'm jealous.”
When I turned to look at him, his hands still holding my wrists firmly behind my back, he gave me his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. A few strands of his dishwater blond locks had come loose from their leather tie and were framing his face. The red of his eyes was bright in the twilight illumination of the house. “Bella, please, have your ice cream. I can get sprinkles.” James' voice had fallen into a sing-song pattern as he spoke.
I nodded and James released my wrists, his smile triumphant as he jogged back to the cupboard and began digging until he pulled back holding a vial of chocolate sprinkles. With a small giggle at his childish pleasure, I made my way to the refrigerator to grab a can of spray whipped cream. When I turned around, James was right there, almost on top of me.
“I like how you think.” James took the can from me and sprayed a cold, waving line of cream across my collarbones. His tongue followed it. “Uggh, it tastes like dirt.” I felt the tip his tongue flit up along my neck. “But you, Bella, taste wonderful. I wonder how I taste to you; shall we find out?”
James reached up and popped free the buttons on his shirt, sending several of the metal disks flying, leaving the red and black plaid shirt hanging open. His body was chiseled, almost overly so. I watched, transfixed by James' pecs as he stretched to reach the butterscotch sundae topping from the stove and poured the syrup in a thin drizzle. Steam rose where the confection met his skin and the topping began to set up, a sticky sweet treat.
“Taste me, Sweet Cheeks.” His voice was soft and he held out a hand to me. I licked my lips and then made one tentative swipe of my tongue across the still very warm butterscotch. A rumble built in his chest, vibrating pleasantly against my lips. “Mmm. That feels so good.” His hands moved to hold my hair back and I lapped up another swallow of the syrup. His skin was cold and sweet, yet held a musky scent that reminded me of old leather car seats, perhaps even a hint of tobacco.
His skin was soon clean of all the syrup, and when I pulled back, James poured more, this time letting it run down his abs. Each hollow between the muscles collected the now soft toffee-substance. James jerked as my tongue went lower, his mouth hung open slightly, and his eyes were almost glazed as he watched me. Knowing that I could do this to him made my own arousal become insistent. He wanted me, for me, not for a remembered past, or what he could make me do. I would be tossed aside once he had his way, that I knew, or he'd bond me as his Donor; either way, I was choosing what I wanted. I was making my own choice, for me.
I opened the first button of the three holding his fly closed, and he reached down to pop the other two. At least, I knew that he had, I couldn't watch. I saw the blur of skin and then the jeans were open. His belt hung undone as well.
The scent of chocolate came to me and I licked my way to his now exposed hipbone where James was painting on hot fudge with the spoon. It didn't blend nearly as well with his natural taste. “The butterscotch, James.”
“As my woman wishes.” He poured another mouthful straight down and I watched the last trickle meander down to a hidden place inside his jeans. I followed it down with my tongue, pausing just before his underwear. James reached down, lifting the waistband out and then pushing them down, freeing his cock. I wasn't quite sure I was ready for this; I wanted him, but sex was not something to go into lightly, especially while I still had Edward on my mind.
“Please,” James let out on a breathy sigh.
Edward. I would do this to spite Edward, to force him out of my heart. He wanted me to choose James, and I would, but not because he told me to. No, I was doing this because I know he doesn't really want me to.
I took him into my mouth, the venom at the tip of his cock numbing my tongue like baby's teething gel. “You'll get used to that effect.” He smiled, humming as I pulled off his cock, inch by inch sliding out of my lips before I let my tongue flick over the head. With a soft kiss on the glans, I licked my way down to the base, stroking my tongue over his balls and then back to the head, before taking his cock back into my mouth.
“Fuck! So good, Babe. So good.”
His hands moved to my ears, gently guiding me faster and faster until finally he just began to thrust into my mouth, always mindful to not go too deep. His shaft grew colder as his moans became louder. It was over much sooner than I'd thought it would be. Apparently, vampires do not have the best stamina. With a loud grunt, a growl that chilled my bones, and then a shout of my name, James came. There was no explosion of venom, just the slightest of numbness increasing on my tongue.
He pulled me back up to my feet once his body had stopped spasming. James' hands went to my hips and pulled me against him. His cock was already hardening, so I reached for my pants to push them down. James stopped me, holding my hands in front of me.
“Bella, as wonderful as this is, I think we should stop. I need to eat before we can continue.” At his words, I felt jealous, unwanted, and abandoned. He was leaving to go upstairs to Victoria. If he wanted her, then well, he could have her. I'd go upstairs and take care of myself. “No, my feisty little Bella. Let me drink from you, not from a cup.”

Donation Drive 8: Tub Talks, Teasing, and Terrible Timing

Emmett's arms wrapped around me like a steel cage as the air rushed by us. Emmett laughed as he curled into a ball and then rolled to soften our impact as we met the ground. I was shaken by the fall but unhurt.
"Are you okay?" Emmett asked sheepishly.
I mumbled my “yes” into his massive chest. The moment my lips stopped moving, Emmett tossed me into the hot tub. We both laughed in delight as the splash I made drenched him as well.
"Emmett Aaron McCarty Cullen, what the hell have you done to Bella?" Rosalie's voice was a shriek as she leaned out of the second story window.
“My Rosie-Love, our little sister needed to relax, and well, there is no one better at relaxing than me."
"Oh, you call it 'relaxing;' I thought it was just laziness," I teased.
Rosalie gave me a thumbs up and then disappeared back inside, leaving me alone with her husband. Emmett stripped off his t shirt and jeans before he climbed into the tub, displacing a considerable amount of water. I tried to avert my eyes as the water clung to his boxers while he stood before sitting. He however, wasn't going to have any of that and stood back up and did a little pirouette.
“You can look at my manly physique, Bella; it's a damn good one for you to ogle.”
I rolled my eyes as Emmett laughed at himself and then I was subsequently extremely happy when he sat down. As my clothing became more and more waterlogged, the shirt and jeans became more uncomfortable. Finally, I stood up and slipped my jeans off, careful to keep my hips beneath the water's surface. His wolf-whistle set my cheeks aflame and I ducked my head down while removing my shirt, leaving me seated in a pair of panties and a shelf-bra tank top.
“Now, aren't you more comfortable, Bella?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and then nodded.
“Geesh. You really need to relax. You're in a hot tub and all your girly bits are covered. I swear that my special gift is not x-ray vision, otherwise, I'd spend eternity sitting at football games watching the cheerleaders do their thing.”
As I gave him a quick smile, Emmett punched me in the shoulder. “See, smiling is much better than that bitch face you've been pulling since Eddo did his little disappearing act.” He ran one finger down my arm. “Ooh, baby, I've made you so wet.”
I laughed and shoved at the goofball of a big brother who followed my momentum and let me shove him beneath the water to the bottom of the hot tub. Emmett stayed down there, smirking at me when the jets of water didn't hide his face from my view. After several minutes had passed, I felt my shirt lift just as a barely warm face (for the hot water had finally heated his skin beyond its normal icy temperature) pressed against my stomach and let loose his lungfuls of air. The bubbles tickled and I screeched with laughter, attempting to shove Emmett away from me.
His onslaught paused and then resumed, this time forcing huge amounts of water against my skin. When Emmett finally deemed he'd tortured my ticklish body enough, he returned to his seat, water still dribbling from his mouth. I watched as he took in shallow breaths, forced out more water, and then breathed in again until he had enough air to speak, his laughter echoing through the woods surrounding us. After more time than I could imagine passed, Emmett stopped, and with a snort finally settled down.
He slid around the seat until our thighs were touching and I shivered as his arm went around me. Emmett was larger than life and I was never so acutely aware of it until now as he sat nearly naked beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder. He was quiet, his fingers subtly shifting and applying varying levels of pressure before relaxing.
“Are you comfortable, Bella?” I nodded in response. “Good. Now, I know that everyone looks at me and typically thinks that I'm just this “Mister All American” dumb jock who is only into sports, tits, tail, and being an idiot. Well, I certainly love all those, but, I am not an idiot; I just choose to act like one from time to time.” Emmett stopped and looked to the trees for a while. “Look, I know you are probably going to bolt like a deer who smells us out on the hunt, so I have an incentive for you to stay put.” Emmett's fingers pressed in lightly, but pain began to radiate in my shoulder and then quickly dissipated. “I know quite a bit about the body, pressure points, and pain. If you let me say my little spiel, I don't make your arm hurt. Nod if you understand.”
His eyes widened and he looked at me until I nodded. “Great. Now, I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. When I'm done, you can talk and I'll listen. If I don't, Alice can come rip my nuts off, okay?” His chuckle at my halted breath shook my entire body. As he took in a deep breath, I could still hear water rasping in his lungs.
“Bella, I know you have at least a passing interest in Edward.” His fingers gently pressed, reminding me to stay as I began to move away. Emmett's eyes darkened slightly as he stared me down. “We all heard you, Bella. Fuck, we could smell you when you opened the door and returned to your own room. When Edward walked into his room after... yeah, you get the picture. He's a mind reader. One of us was bound to slip up at some time and it was much more amusing for him to read my mind when I was face to face to see his reaction. He knows all about that little whimper you make, how you whispered his name, everything.”
I was mortified. It was bad enough assuming, or even hearing it from Jasper; but my relationship with Jasper allowed a certain level of familiar intimacy that I didn't quite have with Emmett, and even after kissing him, certainly didn't have with Edward. My face was aflame with embarrassment, earning more laughs from Emmett.
“This is why I brought you hear for our little talk. You really need to learn to go with the flow and relax. Now that we've stated your interest in Edward, I can establish the argument that Edward is head over fucking heels in love with you. He kissed you. He. Kissed. You. He's faster than Jasper and would have seen what Jasper was planning, but he let it happen. Edward let his virgin lips kiss yours, which even I, in all of my Captain Oblivious moments can attest- are not the lips of a virgin.” Emmett paused and held up a finger. “That was argument one. Two,” he paused, holding up a second, “is that he wrote you a song. The king of elitist emo bullshit, wrote the indie-rock listening girl, a love song. He then called and made you listen to it, and you busted his fricken balls! Everyone in the house loves you. You aren't taking his shit, and that makes him crazy. Crazy in the good way, I mean.”
He cleared his throat and then looked around the area. “Now, this shit you've got going with James. No... don't move. Look, I'm not going to tell you not to, because... hell, I am not into guys but even I can appreciate that he's more than a little good looking to the human girls. You want to do a little horizontal shuffle with him, be my guest; but please don't make me hurt him. If he manipulates you into bonding with him, I will torch him and fucking bite you myself. You and Edward have something that could be amazing, just not right now. He needs to grow up and you need to learn to have some fun.”
Emmett let out a sigh and leaned back into the tub. “Hm... I think that's it. You're turn. What do you want to say?”
“Fuck you, Emmett.”
My eyes barely recognized the movement, I was turned so quickly, and when the dizziness wore off, I was sitting on Emmett's lap, his chest against mine, hard on soft. “If that's what you really want, I'm game.”
I stared at him, in shock, before he laughed and moved me to the side. “I'm kidding, really,” he said as he lifted his hands. “You humans are way too breakable. But you should have seen your face. That was priceless, Bella. If I call your little Eddie now to tell him, I can be half-way to Florida before he gets here. He took the Vanquish and won't abandon that with Tanya.”
Tanya? I'd seen that name before on the caller ID. “Emm, who's Tanya?”
His laugh turned into a childish giggle. “You've heard about succubi, right?” He waited for my nod. “She's the one who started the legend. Tanya and her sisters love to fuck their human mates to death, drinking as they play. Not a bad way to go, but it has led to some rather cockiness among the women in Denali, Tanya especially. She wants a piece of Edward and he has always rebuked her advances. He's been waiting for the 'love of his life,'” this he said on an over-dramatized sigh, “to finally cash in his v-card. I have twenty grand riding on the bet that he'll nail you by Christmas, married or not. Jasper is betting you'll have one of us tear off Edward's dick and shove it up his own ass by then. I'd really rather not see either part of him, so can we just go with the fucking? You make the cutest little sound right before you come; I wouldn't mind hearing it again.”
I moved to hit him and found my arm held back, Alice's porcelain doll hand wrapped around my wrist. “You'll fracture all the bones in your hand if you do, Bella. Please wait until Carlisle has more painkillers, or let me to do this.”
Alice released me and then punched Emmett, a loud crack forcing me to cover my ears.
“Ow! Stupid mother fuckin' bitch slapping psychic. Jasper! Come play sheriff and arrest your wife for disorderly conduct!”
Emmett pulled Alice into the hot tub and they wrestled while trading insults and laughter. Wishing to avoid a stray elbow to the head, and certain brain trauma, I climbed up and out, before trying to wrap my still soaked shirt around my hips. I was freezing and the two vampires were oblivious, or at least pretending to be, as I made my way to the house, dripping water as I went.
I was almost to the door when James came running out with a towel. “Here, sweet cheeks. I heard the commotion and then saw you without a towel. Let's get you inside.” James wrapped me in the towel and literally swept me off my feet and carried me in a blur of motion to a bathroom I hadn't seen before. The tub was sunken, like Alice's, but not as deep. The room was in shades of cranberry and gray with cherry trees in blossom painted onto the wall. James moved quickly as he heated the water and then filled the tub before putting me into it, towel and all.
“You would be more comfortable out of the cold wet clothing. I will fetch clothing from your room and have Victoria bring it in.”
The door closed before I could respond and I heard footsteps overhead which would place this room directly next to Jake's. I let the hot water warm my skin as I removed the remaining clothing. My hair was still cold and dripping when the tub was full so I turned off the tap and then submerged myself. Surfacing to take a deep breath, I then went to to the bottom of the tub, letting my entire body warm. I was slowly coming back up when cold arms wrapped around me and wrenched me from the water.
I sputtered on the water I'd taken in after being startled and opened my eyes to see an almost fearful James. “James?” I coughed out.
“You're alright.” He released me and wiped some water from his face I'd splashed onto him. “You nearly scared the shit out of me. I came back and couldn't hear you breathing, so I let myself in and saw you floating beneath the surface. I thought you'd hit your head and were drowning.”
“No, I'm okay. I'm sorry I scared you.” Suddenly noticing my nudity, I wrapped my arms around my chest and then drew my legs up, hiding my body from James' view.
He coughed and looked away. “I... I'm going to get out then. I...um. Yeah, I should go.”
I watched as James walked out of the room. As he closed the door, I heard the sound of his voice, “not that I want to, Bella. I never want to stop admiring you.”
I was smiling as I quickly washed my hair and then climbed out of the tub. A stack of towels were beside the tub and I wrapped one around my body and used another for my hair. James, despite his bad boy tendencies, truly was more caring of my needs and wants than anyone here. I understood Emmett's argument, I could even see the validity of his statements, but I was not ready for a relationship with anyone, just fun. James was definitely fun.
I came out of the bathroom into a room that was more of the soothing shades of gray; this room had accents of robin's egg blue. Victoria was lounging on an extremely high four poster bed, clad only in a white lace bra and panties. She smirked as I came out.
“I know what you're doing, Bella. Every one else thinks you're so sweet. I know you're after James; playing Edward and him off each other. How novel! Play two type A personalities against one another so that they compete to save the fair damsel. James will fuck you, he always gets what he wants, and then we'll be off on our way around the world again. You may as well get it out of the way. He is an amazing fuck, if you can take being tied up.” Her smile grew as she sat and then moved onto her knees to stretch like a cat.
“You aren't into bondage? Pity for you. He loves to make me cry out in pain before he makes me come and then he bites down so that his venom begins to burn me before sucking the venom all the way out. After a while, the pain doesn't bother you anymore, it just makes the pleasure feel so much better. I can't wait to hear you scream. Now, run along; I have a nap to take so I can stay up tonight to please my master.”
I couldn't come up with a retort I was willing to have everyone in the house say, so I settled for just smiling and then walking away. Victoria wasn't worth it. Reaching the stairs, I took one look back down the hall, before starting to climb. At my room, I paused, feeling a sense of comfort settle over me as I smelled the distinctly pinon pine scent of Jasper.
“Hello, Jasper,” I offered in greeting before walking in to see him sitting on top of the piano still in my room.
“Hey, Sugar.” Jasper slid down and went to the hook beside the door and held out my robe to me. He made a show of turning around so that I could put it on. “You shouldn't feel nervous. I'm on my best behavior, promise.” A dose of confidence came with his words, allowing me to drop the towels with a distinct lack of self-consciousness. I tied the robe's sash and then toweled my hair as Jasper came to stand behind me, his hands taking the comb from the table.
I stood, looking in the mirror as he combed my hair. “It's been a long time since I've gotten to comb long hair. I'd almost forgotten what it was like. My human memories are murkier than most vampires'. I don't remember if it was my mother, sister, or maybe even a wife, though I doubt the latter based on my age when I died. I know I brushed her long blonde hair a lot, every night before we'd go to bed. We all sat in front of the fire and I brushed or combed her hair for one hundred strokes. I'm pretty sure it was my mom as she sat on this little stool, sewing up holes in my pants as I brushed. Amazin', really, the little things I can remember when I try.”
We were mostly silent as we both watched him combing my hair. When Jasper had finished, his lips counting out “one-hundred,” his body language shifted. I could feel the question lingering between us on the air, an invisible yet palpable shimmer surrounding him. I knew, from Charlotte's question to me, what was wanted.
“Yes, Jasper. If you are hungry, I will let you feed.”
I turned to face him, letting the warmth of his smile and emotions fill me. “You're certain, Bella? You're ready to almost properly feed a vampire?” His eyes had darkened slightly. “I'll be as gentle as possible, but I'm quite hungry as Charlotte's blood count has been so low. I haven't fed from her, more than a taste, in two weeks now. Animal blood just isn't as fulfillin'. Bagged blood fills my need for blood, but does not end my craving for the energy within the blood.”
Jasper gently reached for my hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing my knuckles delicately. “Thank you for the honor you are giftin' me, Miss Bella. Please, climb up onto your bed. You will be more comfortable there, I think.”
I climbed up, careful to keep my robe tucked around me. He chuckled as he slid onto the bed and leaned up against the headboard. “Come here, darlin'; sit between my legs.” I moved until I felt his chest behind me and his arms gently rested on my thighs.
“Are you comfortable?”
I nodded.
“I'm gonna make you feel a little sleepy and dull your pain receptors so that the incision doesn't quite smart so much. This is your first time feedin' like this, am I right?” As the first tingles of his gift settled into me, Jasper's voice took on a low tone. “If I was bonded to you, I would most likely drink from your neck right now. However, I cannot take on another bond per my contract with Charlotte, nor would I sign for you when your heart is set on my little brother. Therefore, we have the less satisfyin', for either of us, method of a cup. I have a small glass that I'm gonna place beneath the incision. I know how you feel about blood, so you'll wanna focus on me, my voice, and probably look out the window for a while.”
The pain, when it did come, was short-lived and hurt less than most paper cuts. The desire to sleep was so strong that I let Jasper lull me into a doze as he hummed against my neck, his lips almost kissing my skin as he did so. I sensed Jasper's movement and heard him swallow a few times before I opened my eyes and saw him setting a small silver cup onto the table beside my bed. Jasper moved me so that I was sitting across his lap and he lifted my arm.
Jasper's eyes had taken on a red line around the edges, and his cheeks were slightly pink. He licked his lips and I saw a faint bit of red appear on his mouth. He smiled and then licked again, his venom breaking apart the blood into separate dots. He brought my arm to his mouth and watched me through lowered lashes. I watched, shivering with budding lust, as Jasper sniffed my arm, his nose and lips nuzzling the area around the one inch long incision. His tongue moved slowly over the cut, my blood beading up on the cold, wet flesh, and his eyes were locked on mine as he sealed the wound.
“Fuck,” I mumbled as the need for hard, claiming, bruising, sex hit me so hard I could cry with want. For the first time ever, I did not feel sick at the sight and smell of my blood; all I felt was the need to feed him directly. I tilted my head and moved closer, offering my neck to Jasper. He growled and I felt his icy breath against my throat as his tongue slid up and down. Jasper let out another growl, followed by a curse as he stiffened and leaned back.
“You have no idea how badly I want to, Bella, but it wouldn't be right. If I bit you now, I wouldn't stop until you started screamin', and by then, the change would have started. Your blood is far too sweet for me to change you after just one taste. Even if I cut and then drank, I don't know if I could not take you while I fed. Now, Sugar, I'm fixin' to go relieve my need with my wife, and you're gonna stay right here, not movin' one inch until later when I bring you a tray. You need a little lie down followed by a hearty snack to help regain your strength.”
Jasper slid from beneath me in a smooth movement, my body hardly noticed until I was sinking into the mattress. My breath caught as he leaned in and kissed the faint silver scar on my arm. “Thank you for sharin' your life with me.”

~*~

I awoke from my nap several hours later, smells of the supper Esme was cooking were heavy in the air. A tray was beside me on the bed, a dome covering a plate along with a strawberry carved into a rose beside it. I lifted the dome and saw a half sandwich made of leftover roast beef, a large slice of deli turkey had been rolled around a piece of cheese, on the side was a handful of carrot sticks and broccoli heads served with a small custard cup of ranch dip. A large carafe was filled with milk, another with iced tea, and two small glasses sat upturned on a napkin. A small note in front was in Jasper's precise handwriting.

Thank you, Bella.

I didn't know what you'd like, so I made you a plate with a variety.

Just call if you need anything more.

Jasper

I found myself starving and ate everything he'd left for me, drinking both beverages as I seemed more thirsty than ever before. He must have drank more than Carlisle had previously taken from me to tire me out so much. Or, perhaps it was the energy exchange between us that had exhausted me. Either way, as I thought of Jasper drinking my blood, I felt the rest of my lingering disgust disappearing in regards to Jake sleeping with Rose, or Emmett sleeping with both Jessica and Lauren. Now that I had fed Jasper, I knew that I would always see him in a different light, and could understand the desire to have sex while being fed from. I stretched out after eating, and found myself still tired, so I curled up under the covers once more, knowing that someone would come for me at dinner if I wasn't down there.
When next I awoke, I sensed that I wasn't alone. I turned to look at the clock and found myself nose to nose with James. “Wakey, wakey, sweet cheeks.” A kiss. His tongue pushed into my mouth and then rough hands pushed me onto my back as James lifted one leg so that he was straddling me.
Hands moved behind me, raising me so that my body was pushed into his. James overpowered me, pulling at my senses and pushing me beyond reason with each movement. Hands that had lifted were now laying me down on the bed once more to slide down to my hips. We both groaned as his erection pushed against my pelvis.
He released me as I started gasping for breath, his body pinning me, keeping me completely under his mercy. “Damn, you taste good, Bella. If you hadn't fed already today, I'd drink right now. I need to drink from you. Rose and Alice drank the rest of your blood the other day. I wanted it and was denied. I do not like to be denied, babe.”
James kissed me again, his teeth tugging at my lower lip carefully. I hissed at the slight pain before he let go. “I've been with humans enough that I know the exact limits of my strength, Bella. I don't want anything from you, besides a meal and some fun. I already have one donor; I don't need another nagging female around all the time. One is more than enough right now.”
James sucked at the pulse point on my neck and then moved to my ear, his tongue flicking in as he spoke. “I want to fuck you so hard, Bella. I want to hear you scream. All the men before me have been normal boys. I am a hunter. I will hunt out every last whimper from you until you beg me to stop. Then I will let you run naked through the woods before I hunt you, take you up against the tree until the bark bites into your back, making several trails of blood for me to lick. You'll ride me on the forest floor, your pussy soaking wet with my spilled venom as we fuck again. Do you want that, Bella?”
His hands moved to my breasts, kneading the flesh, pinching gently at my nipples until they stiffened. Light suddenly spilled in from the doorway and we turned to see Jake standing there, his whole body shaking.
“Jake!”
He shook his head, and glared at James. “Get off her, leech. She didn't say yes.”
James smirked and leaned up, his arms out straight on either side of me. “She didn't say no, either. It isn't your decision, Jake, so I suggest you get out of here. Bella and I aren't finished yet.”
Jake's shaking grew stronger and I knew his temper was about to be unleashed. “Jake, why don't you go downstairs? I'll come down in just a minute. Maybe after supper, we could go pick up some low sugar ice cream for Billy and drive it out. He'd like that, wouldn't he?”
James' laugh was scary. “Oh, that's rich. Bella, you're trying to stop him. Trust me, he can't hurt me, but I can definitely hurt him. I'm not scared of the big bad wolf.”
The white of Jake's eyes turned black and his smile was predatory. “You should be.” Jake exploded, his body disappearing as a wolf emerged.

Donation Drive ch7: A Song and Kiss Equal Bliss

After Emmett dragged Edward upstairs, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle checked me over for any wounds. Edward had collided with Jasper, and the impossibly loud crack of their impact had sent me backwards onto the floor. Outside of some minor bruising on my back, I was physically unharmed. Emotionally however, I was still upset despite Jasper's best efforts.
I ran up the stairs and saw Edward dumping clothes into a suitcase as he swore aloud. I lightly ran my fingers across the wood grain on his door. He turned and gave me a look that was at once filled with malice and also with great pain and regret.
“Edward, I'm sorry. I just wanted...”
“I know what you wanted. You wanted to help. Could you have chosen a more stupid way? No, I don't think so.” He slammed the drawer and jerked open another. “I could have killed you! I would have killed you had my brothers not intercepted. Even now, I can smell your blood on everything and only by some divine grace am I resisting the urge to rip out your throat.”
As he spoke, I could hear James downstairs trying to reason with Jake. James' voice brought back the memories of our conversation last night on the motorcycle. “Change me,” I whispered.
Edward's head snapped up and the gold in his eyes flared as bright as the full moon. “What?!”
“Change me, Edward. Drink my blood and then change me. You get the blood and then I'm no longer a liability.”
Edward was in front of me in a flash of movement, his hands coming up and then moving back as if burnt. I watched as he clenched his hands into fists and slowly lowered them to his sides. When he spoke, his anger had burned away into a cold venom.
“I won't damn you to this unlife, Bella. You deserve far, far more than to become a monster like me. We can find someone to penetrate your mental barrier and remove your memories. You'll think of us only as a faded dream of long ago.”
I could feel angry tears spilling over my cheeks as I fought back my urge to slap Edward.
“No! You will not take my memories from me, the same way you can't make my decisions for me, Edward. I am my own person. Yes, I'm beyond pissed that I was manipulated into coming back to Forks, but I am the one who chose to come back. You and Jake both need to realize that I am not some marionette for you to march around on a stage as you see fit.” His sudden pout reminded me of a child. “How old are you?”
His lips curved into a bemused smile. “Seventeen.”
“And how long have you been seventeen?”
He shrugged. “A while.” Under my unwavering stare, he finally relented and gave me the information I wanted. “I was born in nineteen-oh-one. Carlisle changed me in nineteen-eighteen.”
I nodded in response. “And no one has seen fit to remove your head from your ass in all these years?”
Edward looked at me with a mix of shock, anger, and even amusement. His hands unclenched and then rested on my shoulders. He looked over my head suddenly and began speaking once more. “No, Jasper, we're fine.” I jumped as Edward spoke to the vampire who had appeared in the doorway behind me, his lanky frame taking up most of the vertical space.
“She doesn't feel 'fine,' Edward. I think she's plum ready to rip your head from your shoulders.”
Edward's answering growl reverberated through his arms and made my whole body quiver.
“No, she may be angry, but I don't see her resorting to harming me. Bella is much too forgiving and caring to ever hurt someone.”
His hands began to slide up and down my arms.
“Excuse me? Don't you dare talk about me like I'm not here.” I pushed against Edward's chest, attempting to shove him away, yet he refused to move. “You know very little about me, and the more I get to know you, the less I want to.I am standing by my earlier diagnosis that you are bi-polar. One minute we're having this amazing conversation on the phone, the next you're in a barbaric rage and scaring the shit out of me in Carlisle's office, then you're all sweet and apologetic before begging me not to leave. Now, you're back to the caveman routine, deciding what I'm going to do with my life. Well, fuck you, Edward.”
Jasper laughed and came over to where Edward and I were standing, his long fingered musician's hands still holding me immobile. “I think that the two of you need to kiss and make up. Now, kiss.”
Lust filled me as every part of my body responded to the feel of Edward's hands on my shoulders, and then his thighs brushing against mine as Jasper pushed me into Edward. My breathing sped up and the seam of my pants felt tighter as my body swelled with increased blood flow. Along with the lust came confidence and a wanting so strong I could cry for what was before me. Edward's eyes were black, his breathing coming out in pants as fast as mine and his hands drifted up my neck to cup the sides of my head, his wrists at my jawline.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head up, not knowing anything but the vampire in front of me and the need to kiss him, to feel him, to have him as my own. Cold breath swept across my face, bringing with it the frozen lemonade scent that made my insides burn with a passion Jasper's emotional shove could not match. Edward moved that fraction of an inch more and our lips connected. My arms went from pushing against his chest to around his neck, tugging at him, needing him as close as possible. I wanted him to burn in the flames that were consuming me, licking at the back of my lips. Then the fire was over almost before it started. Edward gently pushed me away and held me as far as his arms could reach.
“You... you need to go to your room now, and stay there. Please, Bella. I have to leave and you're making this more difficult. I won't let myself hurt you. Now go!”
I was frozen in place watching Edward as he brought two fingers to press against his lips. He whispered something and Jasper tugged me backwards and out into the hall. Jasper gently shoved me into my room.
“I don't like it, but I have to agree with him, darlin'. Givin' him your blood was a bad move. What was Carlisle thinkin' in agreein' to that?”
“He thought Edward needed a dose of confidence in his self-control. Carlisle thought Edward was stronger. Apparently, we were both wrong.”
My lips still burned with the remembered fire of Edward's momentary kiss. I wanted to feel my body ignite at his touch again and again. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I was immediately flooded with concern.
“Jasper, is Edward alright?” I remembered how Edward said it hurt to be near me. “The pain he's in being near me; is he okay? Let me by!” Jasper was blocking my doorway and I could not see Edward's door from my vantage point.
“Hold your horses, kitten. He's a tad shaken but fine. Just leave him be...well, sounds like he's leavin' you be, I guess.”
Five seconds later, Jasper moved from the doorway and I ran past him and down the stairs as I heard a car start. I reached the front door as Edward's Vanquish pulled out of sight. Several curses left my lips as I stepped out onto the steps before Alice and Rose each grabbed one of my arms.
“Let him go, Bella. Our brother is an arrogant ass. Get used to it.” Rose rested her chin on my head and brushed some wayward strands of my hair out of my face. “I must say, those were some rather inventive uses of the word 'fuck.' When will he be back, Alice?”
“Soon enough that no one but Bella will miss him.” Alice's lips were curved up into a smile. “But she's going to be busy enough in the meantime.” I turned to look at her, but her golden eyes were locked on Rosalie.
“With what, Alice,” I asked.
Her giggle was my only answer as she spoke to Rosalie outside of my hearing range.

---

One day turned into two and then a third before the phone in my room began to ring. Jake was sitting in the chair under the window as I reached for the phone. The day after the guest room on the third floor became my space, Jake had become a little relaxed on his policy regarding coming up. With Edward gone, Jake came up whenever he wanted.
I was still so frustrated with Edward, that I had closed his bedroom door and refused to so much as acknowledge his presence, or lack there of at the moment. Looking at the caller ID, I saw “Denali, Tanya” on the display.
“Hello?”
“It's Edward. I... Just go into my room please.”
Jake looked at me oddly and I just shrugged. “Fine, Edward, give me a second. Jake, stay here.”
I took the phone with me across the hall and into Edward's room, the door knob opening with the whisper soft sound of well-oiled metal bearings.
“I'm in your room, now what?” I hated that I sounded so hostile to him, but I couldn't help my feelings. He exasperated me at every turn.
“Please, sit down at my computer. There is a stack of blank Compact Discs on a spindle beside the tower. If you put one in the CD burner drive, and turn on the monitor, I should be able to handle the rest.”
I sat down in the metal and leather chair before the shelf that functioned as a computer desk. I turned on the monitor's power and then reached for a CD. As soon as I put it into the drive, Edward asked me to click on a small green icon in the lower right. Once I did as asked, the cursor began to move on its own. Rapidly, several programs opened and then closed before I saw “file transfer, time remaining 7 minutes,” show on the screen.
“Edward, what is all this? Why did I have to do it? Couldn't one of your siblings do this for you?”
I heard a soft thud and then a sigh. “No, dammit.” Another sigh left Edward's lips. “Just, wait, please. Please, Bella.”
I focused my eyes on the woods outside the home, letting my mind follow the path of a hawk soaring over the treetops. A few minutes later, I heard Edward hum almost mindlessly as the whirring of the CD burner began.
“It's ready,” he said, a split second before the system ejected the disc tray. “Go put it in the CD player on the wall and then press the fourth button on the presets list. It should handle the rest. Go sit on the couch, center cushion, and close your eyes. Set the phone down, and just listen, please.”
I did as Edward asked and a song started playing, piano and violin accompanying one another while a male's voice, obviously Edward's, began to softly hum along with the song. The hum turned into words that went by too rapidly for me to hear, but my heart knew them. The piano's notes threw me into the lower pits of Hell before a ray of light tugged at my soul and lifted me back into the world of the living. Fire ripped through me as the notes washed over the room, the speakers threw me into a maelstrom of sound and emotion.
“That is what you've done to me, Isabella.” I could hear Edward's voice thick with unshed sobs as he spoke over the phone which I'd discarded beside me on the couch.
The music changed into something light, slow, reminiscent of the song I'd dreamed of the day after my birthday.
"I wished," I heard him almost whisper and I picked up the phone, "I wish you could feel the… complexity… the confusion… I feel. I wished that you could understand. That is why I wrote this and played it for you. I have not played the violin in over a decade, yet I needed to, for you. What I can't say in words, I can in my music. My kind, we do not change, Bella. When we do, it is forever.
“That evening, changed me. You are so foolishly naïve, but so warm and loving; you are at turns the most unselfish and giving person I've met and simultaneously the most frustrating with your almost idiotic ventures to help. I. Cannot. Drink. Your. Blood. You will die.”
“I'm...”
He cut me off. “I don't want your apologies, Bella. Just don't ever do it again. Your donations will have to be given when I am not around or after I have had sufficient time to prepare myself for the sensory assault. Now listen, the song is changing.”
Edward drew my attention back to the music and I listened as the music built into a cacophony of sounds that were at once sweet and horrifying. The music ended bitterly but then the softer high notes began again in that almost lullaby before becoming the heated exchange Edward and I had in his bedroom. Then the bliss of our kiss played for my ears and it went down into my soul. He had felt the fire. He hadn't been oblivious to it.
“You felt it too,” I murmured.
“Bella, that was my first kiss; of course I felt it. Can you not hear how it changed me? But I don't know how to be close to you. I don't know if I can.”
His first kiss? How has he waited this long? If he hasn't kissed, has he not... Oh boy. The forty year old virgin has nothing on him.
“You have to find someone else to feed; you have to bond with another. James will gladly take you on as a second donor. His contract with Victoria does not deny him that right. If James asks and my father denies, the Volturi can override it. I will call and request the transfer. Women like to travel. He could even leave you in Italy; you would like it there. James is trouble, but I do not doubt that he would take care of you properly. It is the best solution.”
I hung up the phone. I wasn't going to listen to his “solutions” for my life any longer. Edward dialed back once and then a second time before the phone in his room began to ring. I let it go unanswered until the answering machine picked up.
“Please, Bella. I'm doing this for your own good. You'll forget about me, about our kiss, and go back to your life. Please, for me, just go.”
I lifted the phone from the receiver. “If all you have to say to me involves ordering me around, save your unnecessary breath and don't come home.” With a heavy heart, I hung up the phone and then stopped the cd. I ejected the disc and then went back to my room. Jake was on my bed and with one look at my face, he got up.
“I think I should probably go, and um, give you some space, right?”
I nodded; I was too tired to deal with Jake.
“I'll be downstairs if you need anything, babe.” His fingers lightly ruffled my hair before his heavy frame loped out the door and down the stairs. I missed the not-so-long-ago days when he was exiled to the second and first floors and the third story remained my sanctuary from all but Alice and Rosalie.
As I threw myself onto my bed and pulled the pillow over my head, I heard the main house phone ring simultaneously on all three levels. It stopped after just one ring so I knew one of the Cullens had answered it. Thinking I had finally escaped from Edward, I relaxed into the bed and tried to focus my thoughts.
He had admitted, in a roundabout way, to wanting me and to liking me. I, in some fashion, liked him- more than liked him. Edward however, was annoying the fuck out of me. I was not going to take his attitude lying down. I have been taking care of myself for far too long to let some seventeen year old try and tell me what was good for me.
I gave up my train of thought in a fit of disgust with myself as I found myself analyzing each flawless inch of skin I had seen and/or touched of Edward, my cellphone let out a small beep, signifying a text message had been received.
“B, why was $750 deposited into our account under B Swan? What are you doing?Eric”
With trembling fingers, I typed out a short message. “I'm on the Cullens' payroll now. I wanted to share my earnings with you.”
His reply hurt more than I had anticipated. “Please tell me you aren't a donor.” I knew from my discussion with Carlisle that Eric knew what they were, but his disappointment, even via a handful of letters on the screen, hurt. Our parting was still too new and raw.
I called him to continue the conversation. Eric answered on the third ring. “Please, Bella, tell me you aren't a donor.”
“I can't tell you that, Eric, sorry.”
His sigh sounded as if the rest of his heart, the pieces I hadn't broken already, were shattering. “After everything... no, never mind. I won't be able to change your mind, so I won't insult you by trying. Just, be careful, Bella. I love you too much to want this for you, but also know that you wouldn't go into this without knowing the risk. I... I won't be waiting, Bella. I can't believe that you would be a donor. I can't wait for you to die too. Take care of yourself, if not for yourself, for me. But, I am going to tell your dad. Charlie deserves to know.”
Eric hung up before I could respond; my yell of “Don't call Charlie!” went unheard by him. It did not, however, go unheard by my housemates. Victoria and Charlotte stood in my doorway a few minutes later.
“Is everything alright, Bella,” asked the pale slip of a blonde girl.
I gave up my thoughts of screaming into my pillows once again. “Yes, Charlotte, while incredibly frustrated, I am going to be fine. Thanks,” I added as an afterthought.
Charlotte so rarely came out of her bedroom except for feeding Jasper or having dinner with the family, I had not been given much of a chance to talk with her. Everything about her screamed 'frailty'; she was all bones with few curves, and she had much the same otherworldly beauty that the Cullens had, save a blush across her cheekbones and a heartbeat.
“If you do need anything, let me know. I remember my first days and it can be overwhelming.” She gave me a shy smile. “While I'm up here, I wanted to ask,” Charlotte paused as she looked down at carefully painted pink toenails. “If Jasper asks you to feed him, as a general donor, not bonded, while I have to be on a break, it is fine with me. Do you think you could?”
Victoria sniffed and rolled her eyes. Unlike Charlotte, Victoria was loud, brassy, and had shown no small amount of displeasure in the past few days after learning that James took me into Port Angeles on his motorcycle. She really hadn't liked the fact that he let me wear her helmet, or that he had worn one so he could talk to me on the ride. Now, the mid-thigh length leather jacket I'd returned in, Edward, Jake, and Victoria had not been pleased with that.
Luckily, the boys had not said a word about it beyond a mild grumbling before going to their rooms after seeing that I was okay when we got in at three AM. James had ensured I had a wonderful birthday evening.
Our first stop was one of the few department stores and James insisted on buying me a nice coat so I would not freeze on the way back. “As much as I would love to see your cheeks flushed from the night's chill, I think the Cullens might have a problem if I returned you in less than perfect condition. Besides, I think that your natural blush, the one you make when I do this,” James tilted my chin up so that our eyes were only on each other, and then gently kissed my nose, “is much more becoming. Now, let's go purchase you a coat, sweet cheeks.”
I humored him after my first two attempts at dissuading him, and tried on coat after coat, until we both agreed on a leather jacket in a warm chestnut shade with a wide belt. Each time I slipped a coat on, James circled me quickly, looking at me like I was something to eat, and then would smile as he twirled one finger, wanting me to spin for him. I gave in and let him have his fun. I didn't like him spending money on me, but James, as well as the rest of the Cullens, had told me to relax as money meant so little.
After buying a coat and matching gloves, James slid his arm around my waist and started walking toward a few of the restaurants. “Well, you can take your pick. I don't eat, ever, so it doesn't matter to me where I drink from my flask.” He patted his hip flask that I was pretty sure held a large serving of Victoria's blood. “If you were my donor, I'd push you up against this brick wall and drink from your neck before going in.”
He gave me a devilish grin and winked before pulling me harder into his side. “But, I think Carlisle would have a problem if I took away their newest donor. Vicky might be upset if she had to share me; but don't let that worry you. She knows who her master is.”
We had a lovely dinner at this small Italian restaurant, where James was attentive, but always had a smile for the waitress. When we walked out, James tossed the waitress' phone number into the bushes outside the door. “You humans are too easy. Now, aren't you glad I had her sing that birthday song for you? She didn't want to, I could smell her reluctance, but she so wanted to please me.”
The way James viewed humans was both refreshing and disturbing. Even after knowing him just a few hours, I knew where I stood. I was alive because I was amusing, and because he had some fear of what the Cullens would do to him if he killed me, and because he thought I had some future use.
After a drive out to a beach where James built a small fire to keep me warm from the ocean breeze, he told me of how he'd chosen Victoria before the change in rules. “I drank from her twice a week, three weeks a month. I would drain a random human we came across the other week. My sire, the vampire who turned me, has his own Coven near Quebec. Laurent and the others do not take part in the Volturi's new pact. However, they remain tidy with their kills and go relatively unnoticed.”
We rode back into Forks at eleven thirty and were almost to the turn for the Cullens' when blue and red lights began flashing. With a string of curses, James pulled over. He reached into his pocket with one hand, and with the other, held my arms against his stomach tighter.
“Hold on to me, Bella. If he pulls any shit, we're out of here fast. You got me?”
I nodded and buried my face into his ponytail that was hanging down his back over the leather coat he wore before sitting back up. I knew better than to fight him. We were also so close to the Cullens that we would be somewhere for James to cool down quickly. Tension radiated through him, feeling much like a pacing tiger stuck inside a cage.
I looked over my shoulder as the officer approached and my stomach just about fell out. Charlie. “It's my dad,” I whispered as quietly as possible.
“Does he know about you being a donor?”
“No.”
“Isabella Marie Swan, what are you doing out this late on a motorcycle, especially one whose driver was going forty miles per hour over the limit?” Charlie let out a cough and then approached James, the word “license” only getting halfway past his lips before it died. “Oh, you're one of them, the Cullens' friends. You should be more careful when you have my daughter with you. She doesn't have the same health benefits you do.”
James relaxed and released my hands. “I'm sorry, Chief Swan. I took your lovely daughter out for a birthday dinner and we lost track of time. I wanted to get her back home before they locked up for the night.”
Charlie gave James a hard look and then sighed. “Bells, into the cruiser. I was here for cake earlier and you were already gone. Alice told me you'd be back at eleven thirty so I was heading back up to wish you a happy birthday. Let's go home where I have some microwave cake bowls.” He paused and looked from James to me. “I suppose he's coming with?”
“If you don't mind, sir.”
James climbed off the bike smoothly and then lifted me off. In a voice soft enough the microphone barely picked it up, “I'll meet you at your dad's after I go feed. I'm pissed off, and an angry vampire is a hungry vampire.
I spent the next two hours with Charlie and James, dodging questions about what I knew about the Cullens and restraining myself from asking my dad why he had lied to me about the donors. I did enjoy noticing the little things, the way Charlie sat between James and me, how he didn't offer to make one of the chocolate lava cakes for James, and the slight grimace when James commented on having a filling meal earlier in the night. Charlie attempted to be sneaky and checked me over for any scars and on my part, I made sure to drop a few comments about how happy I was to see Jake again.
It was almost two thirty before Charlie let James and I go, with a heavy guilt trip about not coming to see my father on my birthday. When we got back to the house, Edward and Jake were waiting for us, with matching frowns. I just pulled my jacket around me tighter and let James lead me up the stairs. Victoria was standing in the doorway to one of the bedrooms, I assume the one the Cullens kept on hand for visiting vampires as the door had been locked on my previous tours. She scowled at me and then smiled as James looked at her.
“Welcome home, Master,” she let out on a simpering sigh.
“Good evening, Victoria. You should be sleeping. You need your rest so that I can drink more in the morning. I will be hungry and you should always be ready for me; you know that.”
She went into the room, closing the door behind her as James started up the stairs to the third floor. When I hesitated, he laughed. “I took you out; I'm going to see you returned safely to your door, sweet cheeks.”
I ran up the stairs and then bypassed James to go into my room, Edward storming up behind us as we went in. James gave a small smirk as he slid my coat down my arms and then hung it up on the coat rack which now stood beside the door.
“Thank you for such a lovely date, Bella. I am glad that we could celebrate your birthday without the drama of the young ones. Thank you for graciously accepting my gifts. Now, to properly end our night, how about a kiss?”
James pointed to his cheek and I rolled my eyes but acquiesced. I gently pulled myself up onto tiptoes, using my hands on his shoulders to stretch myself to my full height, and moved to press my lips against his cheek. He turned quickly and captured my lips with his, one hand sliding up into my hair to hold me still. His lips drew at mine, coaxing a small whimper as I felt my body responding to the kiss. James stepped back.
“Oldest trick in the book, Bella. You're going to have to step up your game if you want to stay ahead of me. Good night.”
James' kiss, while good, did not have half the effect on me as Edward's had. I broke myself from my musings to look at Victoria and Charlotte who were watching me with arched eyebrows.
“Look, I'm sorry you came up here for nothing. My ex-boyfriend found out I'm a donor and knew what that meant. He's pissed off and is calling my dad, the police chief here in Forks. I do not want to cause any trouble for the Cullens.”
“You don't have to worry about us, Bella. We're good at taking care of ourselves. We'll take care of you too, if you let us.” The loud voice of the largest Cullen made me jump. Emmett had to turn slightly so that his broad shoulders could fit through the door. He rushed toward me and I found myself partly flying as I came to land on Emmett's shoulders. “Right now, I think taking care of you involves a trip to the hot tub out back- with or without your clothes, your choice.”