Showing posts with label Lemon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lemon. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

TTTB Chapter 9: Afternoon Wood in the Woods


BPOV
I saw Emmett's eyes go to my lips and I knew this was the moment of truth. This was my chance to accept him as a lover or put the halt on this plan. My mind was screaming 'no,' but my body said 'yes.' My chin lifted that extra quarter inch, letting him know I wasn't going to fight. Every tenth of a second dragged on, my mind in a panic. What was Edward doing? Was he watching? Of course my husband, my love, was watching- both with his eyes and through Emmett, and probably through Jasper.
Jasper! He had to see it, and feel us and whatever Edward was feeling at the moment. Does he care? Do I want him to be jealous? A part of me cried “yes” as my body, heart, soul, and mind reconciled with one another and made room for two more relationships. Then Emmett's lips touched to mine, softly, a gentle first kiss, his eyes open on me, waiting for my response. I closed my eyes and kissed Emmett. The back of my mind registered his arm sliding beneath me, crushing me to his chest as his hips pushed harder against me. Our once simple wrestling match was at a draw. I'd shown him that in pure strength I was still stronger but I could not hold up to his experience or my body's response to him when combined with the efforts of his brothers. They were determined to see me lose control of my actions.
Then, my lips parted for his tongue and I knew that I was lost. This was not the gentle kiss of my husband; I was being claimed, the choice no longer mine to make. His tongue pushed between my lips into my mouth, tangled with my tongue, lightly tracing my teeth before plundering my mouth as far as his tongue could reach. His arm beneath me lowered me slightly, his other hand rose and rested on my ribcage beneath my breast and he stopped moving for a moment, our lips touching but no longer stroking against one another. He was waiting for something. I opened my eyes to see him watching me. I timidly slid my tongue along his lip and then I heard the back door open. Our lips separated as we realized what had happened and looked to the house. Jasper was already inside but Edward was at the door, one hand on the door jam. He looked tense but a smile was gracing his perfect lips. He mouthed, “Go on. I love you. Have fun,” before entering after Jasper, closing the door behind him. That was all that Emmett needed before he jumped to his feet.
“Come with me, please?”
His eyes were wide, his breath still coming in gasps, much like mine. This was going to be more than a walk in the woods. This would change everything.
I nodded and offered my hand. Emmett pulled me to my feet and I promptly fell against him, my knees buckling beneath me, still jello-legged from his kisses. He chuckled and tossed me over his shoulder, his left arm holding my legs, his right hand came up and slapped my behind once. I squeaked , causing more laughter to rumble in his chest. From my position I could see his back, how the muscles moved against each other when he walked, his round ass beneath the jersey shorts, his legs pumping as he quickened his pace into a run. Beneath my leg, I could feel a rather large sign of his intentions for me.
Choosing to let him win this part of the game and carry me to wherever he was taking us, I slid my leg the side, trailing over his cock. He whimpered and slid me down into his arms and then to the ground. I held to Emmett's shoulders and ground against him on the way to the earth, still aroused from his earlier kisses.
His eyes were on my face, not exactly knowing what to do now. I think Emmett expected Edward to pop out from behind a tree and rip his arms off for touching me. This time at least, I would have to start things. I lowered my hands down his arms to his hands and pulled them around me. I lifted my chin, standing on tiptoe, and said, “kiss me.” A spark went through him, causing him to jerk against me. Emmett's hands went to my upper thighs, lifting me by the generous curve I inherited from Renee, until my legs were at his waist and my lips even with his.
“Bella,” he let out on a strained breath, his hands pulling my legs tight against him, feeling him pressing against my core once again. He groaned against my lips before resuming his attack of my mouth. His impatience showed in each movement; Emmett's hands were all over my back and legs pinching, pulling, sliding, groping and then I heard the crack before feeling it. Emmett had shoved us against a tree so that he could move his hands without dropping me. “Do you like this shirt?”
“Not particularly.”
He grunted in response, ripping my shirt off my shoulders, leaving it pressed between the tree trunk and my back. Emmett's hands covered my breasts and I hissed against his lips, his hands huge compared to Edward's- his fingers alternated memorizing the full swell of breast and then pinching my nipples, pulling them outward, stretching towards him. I pulled him closer with my legs, rubbing against his groin. His growl tightened the spring coiling between my legs. I needed relief and at the moment he was my only outlet. My fingers inched down his chest, to the hem of his shirt and I pulled it up to his arms.
I whispered “up” against his mouth and he complied, and I tossed it to the side promptly forgetting it had ever been on. I scratched my nails across his back and was rewarded by his engorged member swelling even more against my stomach. His tongue conquered my mouth yet again and he began to thrust his hips into me, the tree creaking behind me. I released his lips to nip at his ear and neck, letting my fingers trace the gorgeous six pack he kept hidden beneath clothing. It felt different than Edward. I was used to his sleek muscular build not the ripped frame of Atlas. Emmett's torso heaved with his rampant breaths, had his heart still beat I would have felt it against my chest. I felt ravaged and he hadn't removed our pants yet.
His curls tickled my cheek as he lowered his mouth to my breast, his suckling much stronger than Edward's. He left no doubt that while he would pleasure me entirely, this was for him. He was using me to forget for a while, but that was fine. There would be other times to get to know one another and do this slowly. This was pure fucking for the sake of it.
Maybe for my first, it was better this way.
I arched into him, his constant purr and low growl brought my nipples to peaks harder than the water and air had made earlier. Emmett reached between our bodies, cupping my breasts and lifting them for his lips. His mouth alternated between my breasts, lapping around the pink peaks , blowing his cold breath over them, laving with his tongue, sucking, lightly biting at them while I buried my fingers in his hair and pressed kisses against the top of his head. I reached over him and dug my nails in rather hard when he bit down on one breast and in response he threw his weight into me. Our support could not hold us and with crash echoing through the woods, we fell to the ground on top of the now splintered tree. I laughed against his hair and he looked up at me, a sheepish grin on his face.
“I've never knocked down a tree for foreplay before.” He nipped at my lips.
I cupped his cheeks in my hands and kissed him without holding back. It was time to forge into new territory. I pushed against his chest while my tongue was battling in his mouth, wrapping one leg over his hip as we fell onto our sides. I snaked one hand between us and stroked him through his pants. Emmett moaned into my mouth and I took that as a sign of his approval. I pressed my palm against the bulge, my hand not quite covering him. His hips thrust against my hand and my need to have him inside of me grew. I pulled the drawstring until it broke- not waiting to untie the knot, and I quickly undid the buttons holding the fabric closed over them. As the fabric parted, his boxer-clad penis jumped forward towards me through the opening I'd made and he let out a sigh. My fingers wrapped around his hard length not able to circle it completely and stroked once, the silk fabric between us so fragile yet the barrier was firm, separating us still. I looked down at my hand and saw a wet spot growing near the tip of his penis. My thumb itched to trace the sign of his desire so I let my fingernails scratch up the muscle to the head where I let my thumb slide in the leaking venom. He hissed and jumped away, pulling me to my feet.

Em POV
I had to have her. When her thumb smeared my cum across the head of my cock, I lost the slim thread of control I'd maintained. Any chance of taking this slow was gone. I leapt to my feet and pulled her with me, my hands sliding to her waistband and forcing them down, the fabric shredding in my fingers. Bella wriggled her hips against me and stood in front me wearing nothing but a pair of white cotton panties, still wet from her impromptu swim, the shadow between her legs slightly visible but still too hidden for what I wanted. I looked into her eyes, giving her one last chance to back away. Then she did something Rose never did, she took my hand and pressed it against her. I could feel the subtle heat our kind has, no where near that she must have had as a human but warm to me nonetheless.
I gave her no warning and snapped her underwear away, the seams separating at my strength. My fingers were inside her the moment she was free and she screamed against my chest as her legs lost strength and I had to catch her to keep her from falling. Bella felt so different to me, yet the parts were generally the same. Clit, vagina, and there was that little spongy spot that Rose showed me. I twisted my fingers on it, as she gripped me, I could hear her calling my name in between pants and groans. This was where I excelled, I had spent a year learning all the ways to stimulate the fabled G-spot and I used them all. Based on her reaction, Edward had not done this before. Bella was grabbing at my arm, not knowing if she wanted me to continue or stop, the pleasure almost too much to bear. I slid a fourth finger into her and then she convulsed against me and I'm fairly certain everyone at the main house heard my name as she came.
I carefully withdrew and pulled my boxers down my legs while she recovered, her body still lightly spasming as she lay there catching her breath. She looked beautiful laying there on the grass and ferns of the forest bed, the chill of the night's frost still lingering in the darker hollows. Bella's hair was fanned out around her and she looked like a forest goddess, all earth tones and red lips swollen from my kisses. When she had recovered enough to look up at me, I saw the hunger behind her eyes. She wanted me as much as I did her. Bella rolled to her feet and sprung up into my arms, nuzzling my shoulder.
“Wrap your legs around me again, babe.” She complied and then her lips formed a beautiful “Oh” as she felt me brush against her. I walked with her wrapped around me and crashed my lips to hers once again as I let us lean back against another tree, a larger and hopefully more resistant one. My tongue passed her lips at the same moment I lowered her onto me.
“Damn, Bella... tight... so wet;” my words were punctuated with small thrusts as I buried myself down to the base. I held still as long as I could, letting her adjust before she began to pull on my shoulders, raising and lowering herself against me. I pushed her into the tree, bark splintering against her shoulder as I pulled out so that only the tip of my cock was still wedged inside her. I let her lips rest for a moment as I took in the beauty I held before me. She looked so frail in my arms but the strength of her passion was evident in every whimper she sounded or the arching of her back making our bodies seal together. Her eyes were nearly black from lust and I could feel her focusing on my eyes. She kissed the tip of my nose and then left a trail of kisses to my ear.
“Fuck me, Grizz.”
“Hells yeah.” She wants me to be a bear, I can be a bear. That was all the encouragement my body needed to let go and take her as I wanted. My cock surged, the head swelling even more, and I thrust back into her as I watched her eyes roll back into her head. I repeated the slow movement and her head fell forward onto my shoulder. I tucked my chin over her head and sped up, knowing that this release would shatter me. Her hips met my own thrust for thrust and I could feel my balls slapping against her, getting coated in her leaking juices. I didn't know how much longer I could hold out after weeks without this sensation of being enveloped. I reached between our bodies and circled her clit with my thumb and two fingers, stroking around the swollen bundle of nerves until she started bucking hard against me. I felt her fingers grab the back of my neck, twining in the curls there.
“Emm. Please. Harder. Fill me.” Bella's body began to shake against the tree, her legs tightened around me, so I teased her faster until her cries once again her sweet cries filled my head, but this time it was the most sensitive part of me inside her as she came. Her juices bathed my cock as I buried deep within her, shooting into her and growling out into the trees.

JPOV
I couldn't take it anymore. Watching Bella and Emmett rut against each other on the ground, pretending that this was a wrestling match and not a type of foreplay; lust billowed off of them. I felt betrayed. She had wanted me, wouldn't she come to me first if she was going to go through with this? Her emotions towards me went deeper than they did for him.
None of it made sense, but my darling wife's premonitions rarely did until they had come to pass. The emotions coming off of Edward were hard enough to tolerate, the jealousy, frustration, lust, love, guilt, and despair. When he rose to his feet, he closed his eyes, swallowing it all away except for the love and jealousy. Those I could do nothing about for I felt them too. I had no right to feel them. She is not my wife so there should be no jealousy and the growing love I could not stop no matter how I tried. Every hug she gave in greeting or kiss on the cheek in a daily farewell had made my heart grow fonder. Six days with her left her as the caretaker of my heart. Bella had patched over the pain allowing me to breathe again. She was not my Alice, but I think in time she could be close. Would he allow it?
“Yes. If she falls in love with you, it would hurt, but I would share her heart. She would not love me less for loving you. I'd rather it you than any other.”
He had closed the door behind us with one last look at them. Us and them. I know she'll come back to him. But will she come back to me as well?
“You will have your time with her. I think she thought our brother an easier, target, for lack of a better word. She did not fear his rejection as she does yours.”
Rejection? Why would I ever reject her?
She only wants to be loved, even now she thinks herself unworthy of our family, more so after we lost Alice and Rosalie. Can't he run faster? Distract me please. Until he's out of range this is killing me.”
Distraction... ahh. Nessie.
“Why don't we go spring Renesmee from school and you take her to Charlie's for a while? I'm pretty sure he'd love to see her; invite him back for dinner. I'll call you when they start heading back- maybe you could run there so that you get back faster. If Emmett and Bella return to the house before you do, I'll let her know you took Nessie to see Charlie and will be home soon. If she heads to the cottage I'll go there and see how she's doing.”
Relief washed over Edward's face as we climbed the stairs and he put on a smile for his daughter. “Esme, I think school is done for today. Ness and I are off to Charlie's for an hour or two so she can tell him about her trip. I think there might even be a souvenir or two for him, right little one?”
Renesmee's happiness flooded the room and she took off down the hall, leaving her books for Esme to put away. Even though she's mentally so much more than the five years she looks, kids are still kids.
I stayed with Esme and helped pick up the paperwork she'd spread through the library for their makeshift school. As we put the work away, she kept looking up as if she wanted to say something, a small wrinkle forming and smoothing between her eyebrows, and her emotions cycled through confusion, concern, and love.
“I'm guessing you want to know where Bella is and if that's why Edward took off so quickly?”
“Are you sure that you aren't the mind reader? Yes, I'm worried about him, all of you. You're my children, I don't like seeing any of you hurt.” She put her hands in her pockets, toying with something.
“She's with Emm out in the woods. Edward told me that you know, to a degree, what is happening so please do not make me spell it out any further. It is hard enough on me to feel what the currently very happy couple was feeling as they headed to the woods, keeping Edward from storming off after them, and trying to figure out exactly what I'm feeling. I cannot recall the last time I was unsure of my own emotions. When I met Alice, she knew I was the one. I didn't question her, and on our journey to find you and Carlisle, we fell in love. Ali and I completed one another even though we rarely saw eye to eye. We complemented one another well. I calmed her down, toning down her hyperactivity and she brought me out of my shell. Without her, I had started to withdraw into who I had been when I was with Peter and Charlotte.”
“And Bella brought you back to us?”
“Yes.” I could feel a smile growing when I thought of the nights she had spent in my study reading with me, or arguing over a random topic, ending with us agreeing to disagree and going on to the next book. There was a level of mental stimulation that Alice had never wanted to share.
“Bella has become my best friend and after our trip to Rio, the lines are blurred. I never considered acting on my feelings; I don't want to hurt either of them or this family. I feel like I'm betrayin' Alice, especially since it's only been a month and a half since she died. She had started to pull away from me before we left that night. I think she had a vision of her death right after Renesmee was born, that it was part of the original vision but she chose not to tell us. I feel hollow without her, but when Bella is near, it's like she shields me from the pain. She always knows what to say or when to not say anythin' and just hold me. She got through to me that day when no one could. I sat there in my chair holdin' Alice's letter of goodbye and I was thinking of settin' a fire and jumpin' into it or askin', one of the wolves to do the honors. But I looked up and she was there, and just wrapped me in her arms.”
Esme had a sad smile on her face. She didn't like to remember that day, but I had to. It was part of what brought me to today's realization.
“We had all those days together after we got back, when Edward had her stay with me to cheer me up while he went huntin' with Emmett and you and wolfie took turns watchin' Nessie sleep. When Carlisle asked Edward to remain here in Forks and let us escort Bella to find them... I did some things I'm not proud of on the plane and then I tried to kiss her the night I scattered Alice's ashes. I am fallin' in love with her and it is eatin' me alive that I'm not the one with her right now. Edward will always be first in her heart but I know that when she looks at me I feel love from her and for her. Alice set up all these different situations after seeing them- a regular self-fulfillin' prophetess. But I can't fight them. I am in love with Bella. I want her. I'm willin' to share her in any way Edward will let me have her and follow any rules he wants. I just can't stop the guilt.”
Esme's eyes shimmered with tears that would never fall and she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. “This is for you. It was in one of Renesmee's text books.”
In Alice's spiky script I read,
Give to my Jazzy-boy when he finally bares his soul to you. Thank you, he needed it. I love you, Mom.
I opened the note, leaning back against the desk Carlisle had moved in here for Nessie to work at.
Jasper,
I want you to love her. You'll always love me and I'll always love you, no matter where I am at. Do I have to keep telling you that? I'm ready to kick your ass right now while you are showering after getting the latest vision. We're at Peter's house right now; he and Charlotte left this morning and we're taking off in a few hours for the next leg of our trip. Please don't feel guilty about loving her. It will all work out in the end and you, Edward, and Bella will all be the better for it, in time. There will be several years of adjustment but you will have a happily ever after. Emmett will always be Emmett, although his eyes will never have that same sparkle they did before... well you know. This would have happened in the future, regardless of me interfering or not. I just sped up the time line so that you would smile again. I do not like seeing you so sad even in my visions. I hate leaving you but I know she'll comfort you in my absence.
Good idea sending Emo-boy to town with Nessie, you made the outcome of the day change for the better. You should go to the cottage. She's going to need you to hold her together afterward. Once you feel her emotions, you'll understand. I can't see exactly what you do but I know right now isn't the right time. Hold out for romance, not reaction. Love her, Jazzy. I'll smile every time you let yourself love. If you can't let me go for yourself, do it for me. Quit beating yourself up or I'm going to kick your ass before we get back to Forks and lie about the reason why. You know I will too.
I love you, Jasper Whitlock-
Alice
My thumb traced over a lipstick print where she had kissed the paper. I brought it to my lips as one last kiss. I could still smell her on the paper and my heart broke a little more. Then I recalled her feisty little body standing in front me, hands on hips, glaring at me. She'd stood there standing in the bathroom in Peter's home, or rather the one he and Charlotte “inherited” from a meal, staring me down as I dried off.
“What did I do this time, Alice?”
“You didn't listen to me. I want you to be happy. Dammit, Jasper just listen to me already. If I write it down and make you a list, can you follow it? No. You doubt me every chance you can. I'm offended. Don't you trust me?” Then she pouted, her lower lip quivering, her eyes wide.
Esme seemed unsettled by my sudden laughter so I told her of the memory Alice's letter had triggered. “I'm off to Eddie and Bella's place. Thanks, Mom.” It still didn't come easily to my lips to call her mom but after moments like this it was the least I could do for her acting so motherly to me. I tucked the letter into a folder I kept in my room for Alice's letters, ran my fingers through my hair, grabbed some items I had purchased over the past few weeks, steeled myself for whatever was to come, and let my feet guide the way to my future.

BPOV
It had never been like this with Edward. He was always so careful with me. Emmett was nothing like Edward but it didn't make it better, just different. We had toppled a second tree falling to the ground, his weight pleasant on me, the fall pushing him even deeper inside me as we jarred against the forest floor. It seemed his passions were re-awoken from the movement as I felt him hardening again. This man before me truly had a bear's endurance. He needed no recovery time, allowing me none either. My body still throbbed from my orgasm and I felt our combined fluids sticky across my inner thighs. But when he moved against me, pushing me into the ground, it felt primal. I growled and tore at his back, thrusting against him, my newborn strength the only reason I could lift my hips against his weight.
He had already mastered how to make my body respond and every stroke of his arousal inside of me was setting me aflame. I began to clutch at his shoulders, mewling into his mouth as he kissed me, his fingers tangled in my hair, pulling my head back to expose my neck. When Emmett's tongue stroked the small scar at the base of my neck as he slammed my body against the ground, I felt my toes curl and my world exploded into stars around me. I slumped to the ground, my body sated, and I watched his face. Emmett started to grunt and his thrusts were nearing inhuman speed. His eyes were closed, lips parted, and then he dropped his weight fully onto me again, his arms giving out to hold me, and his body jerked, filling me for a second time.
Emmett quickly rolled off of me and pulled me into his chest. “Oh God, Bella. Thank you.” He started kissing my cheeks, forehead, and then a soft kiss on my lips. I smiled at him.
“You don't need to thank me, Emm.” I brushed my lips across his and then rested my head on his chest. His hand went up stroke my hair out of his face. Laughter made his body tremble. “What's so funny Emmie-bear?”
He lost it and started rocking back and forth laughing. “Emmie bear? Please don't ever call me that in front of my brothers. I'll never live it down. I was laughing about your hair. We kinda made a mess of it. I'm sorry.” He ran his fingers through my hair and showed me several twigs, leaves, and pieces of bark.
“Don't worry, I can wash it later. A little dirt is worth what we did.” I looked up at him and ran my fingertip over his lips. He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.
“She never let me do that. I mean, we were always amazing together; but she was always so worried about messing up her hair and makeup. I never could just let go like we did.” He sat up and looked around at the devastation we'd made of the woods. The two trees we'd knocked down had each taken out one on their way down, we'd made several ruts in the ground, including the most recent which was a perfect Bella shaped hollow. I giggled and crawled to sit between his legs and lean back into him. His arms came up and locked around my waist. I felt his lips press against my hair. I sighed, content.
We sat there, slightly rocking, watching squirrels gather food for the approaching snowy days, and at times he'd talk about Rosalie and I just listened, pressing kisses against his cheek or shoulder when he'd pause.
“Come on, Bellaboo, we should get you back and face the music. I guess that means clothes, although I'm not opposed to this manner of undress on you.”
I buried my face in my hands, thankful I could no longer blush. He laughed and went to retrieve his shorts, the closest items to our present position. I watched him dress, really taking in his entire body. He exuded strength. Emmett was built like a bear and had thoroughly ravaged me like one. I looked for my own clothes and saw nothing but tatters.
“Hey, Emmett. I think I'm going to need your shirt if it's in any better condition.” I held up fabric scraps. He looked proud of himself so I threw them at him and jerked his shirt from his hands. I pulled it over my head, the sleeves went way beyond my hands and the hem down to my knees as if I was wearing a dress. Emmett reached for my hand and we swung hands like little kids and we skipped through the woods, darting around trees, playing tag, sharing small kisses.
We were too soon back at the clearing to my and Edward's cottage and the spell was broken. Emmett let out a sigh, and pulled back into the shell he'd kept up for the past month. I stood on tiptoe and pulled his face to mine. I kissed him gently and stroked his face. “It'll be okay. This isn't the only time if you don't want it to be.” He brightened up and kissed me.
“I think I created a monster. Can't get enough of the Grizzly Man.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Sure thing, Emmie bear.” I squeezed his shoulder and walked into the house, Jasper's scent strong in the room. I could hear water running in the bathroom so I followed the sound.
“Jasper, what are you doing here? Is there something wrong with your bath in the main house?”
He looked surprised to see me as if it was natural for him to be here. Then, I saw the room. It was filled with candles and roses.
“Oh, Jas, you didn't need to do this.”
Then I broke down crying. The guilt had been building every step back towards the house; I was worried about Edward, and then him not being here, but Jasper was and it just hit me. Things were never going to be the same again. I'd slept with another man, my brother-in-law. How could I have done that to Edward even though he'd told me it was okay, that I should? I didn't bother to wipe away the tears burning my cheeks, I deserved the pain, knowing that it was most likely just a fraction of the heartache I'd caused my husband. I slid down the wall to the floor and sat there, crying until I felt his arms go around. I tried to push him away but he just held on harder, one hand going up to my head to press me against his chest.
“Shhh. Are you hurt?” I shook my head against him. “Okay then. Just relax, Bella. Let the guilt go. Edward agreed to this and we're all consentin' adults. Well, he's stuck at seventeen, so maybe he doesn't count.”
A giggle escaped between my sobs.
“I received another letter from Alice today. She wants us all to be happy Bella. Yes, the limbo land we're currently in is difficult but I think in time we'll figure everythin' out. Alice says we'll all be happy, that she wants me to stop feelin' guilty for wantin' you, for lovin' you.”
His voice was barely audible, like he was speaking only to himself. I wiped my tears away and looked into his beautiful face.
“I am fallin' in love with you, Bella. Edward knows and while I cannot say he doesn't mind, he isn't hurt by it. He doesn't want Emmett and I to think about what has occurred when we're within his range and he'd rather not see anythin' for a while until he's had time to get used to it but he's going to be ok. He loves you and you love him, I can't change that- I don't want to change that. You are his wife just like Alice will always be my wife. But maybe there's another way for us. If you could accept my love I'd be eternally grateful.”
Jasper climbed back to his feet and picked me up, setting me on the counter. Next to me was a velvet pouch. He pulled out two necklaces from the bag. Each held a slim platinum ring with “Mary Alice Brandon-Cullen-Whitlock” etched into the side and holding a tiny yellow diamond.
“I saved some of her ashes and had them made into diamonds so a part of her would physically be with us always. One for you and one for me. Let her hold us together in friendship and in love.” He looked in my eyes and I nodded my acquiescence. Jasper rested his forehead on my own as he clasped it around my neck. I helped him with his, my fingers fumbling on the catch.
“Jasper. This is, well I don't know exactly what to say. You obviously know what I'm feeling better than I do. I think I love you too.”
As soon as the words were hanging in the air between us, his lips were on me. This wasn't like Emmett's rough kisses that left me feeling slightly bruised nor was it like Edward's careful control. Jasper's kiss was sweet, loving, and tender yet I could feel his passion behind it. His gift was wrapping around us and I could feel what he was feeling and could feel my own emotions coming back at me. I slid my hand up to cup the back of his neck and he pulled away.
“Not here, Bella. Not with you fresh from the woods with Emmett. I want to do this right. I don't want to just have you be an outlet or have what is between us be just sex. I want to make love to you all night long and kiss every inch of your body. I want to make it perfect for you, for us. Why don't you take off his shirt, climb into the bath and relax. I'm going to go call Edward and let him know you're home. He took Ness to see your dad. I put your favorite cd on the stereo, towels are on the bar, and I'll turn off the lights, leavin' you to the candles. Stay in until Edward comes home. I'll keep Nessie up at the main house with me until you come for her. You will probably need to talk with him.” He kissed my forehead and wrapped me in his arms. “I had a new shipment of books come in while we were gone. Come take a peek later if you want.” I brushed my lips against his, causing him to step back. “Not now. If I keep tellin' myself that, it will be easier. Enjoy the bath, Bella.”
He let out a breath and stepped away, closing the bathroom door behind him.

Friday, October 23, 2009

TTTB Chapter 7: Home

EPOV
“Carlisle, I think we can let him into the main house. He hasn't tried anything and his thoughts are harmless to us. He thinks only of going home or of killing himself, no other options seem to visit his mind. Only the final moments of his wife and his constant annoyance to me are shared.”
Carlisle finally lifted his butterscotch eyes and looked at me. What has Marcus been saying, or rather thinking, that has you so uptight? For you to admit annoyance, it must be a fairly large ordeal.
“He has a somewhat odd thought of what will occur when Bella returns home with Renesmee and your other sons. Alice apparently had similar plans that she's trying to put into motion. I really need to talk to Bella when we get her home tonight.”
I'm glad to see that the two of you have survived these six days. You have been much easier to live with than the last time you were separated. You've grown as a couple, and as individuals. The two of you are stronger for each other, and she has brought out the best in you- you've blossomed into the boy I saw on that bed- life shines in your eyes again- and I think fatherhood agrees with you. How many presents is Nessie coming home to?
I redid her bedroom with Mom's help and after speaking to Nessie on Tuesday, I filled her bookshelves, toy bins, and closets with her wish list as well as a few extras.”
Carlisle patted me on the back before motioning me towards the foyer. “My shift will not be over until after they are home, so unless we leave Marcus without a guard and you take Esme, you'll have to take the Jeep, it's the only vehicle that can seat all of you.” He tried to stifle a smile before tossing me the keys to Emmett's over-sized toy. My groan echoed through the hallway. “I know you've been counting down the hours, so you are well aware of the three hours before you take off. Why don't you spend them with your mother? I know she'd love the company.”
I nodded and headed towards the door so I could head to the garden. “Thanks, Carlisle.”
You are welcome, Son. Go on. I'm going to get changed and head to the hospital. Give Nessie a kiss for me and let her know I'll be home as soon as I can. His thoughts swirled from having his family as complete as possible, to patients he had scheduled visits with, and then to any ER arrivals.
I closed the door quietly behind me and wandered the sidewalk around the house to our garden. I found Esme easily, her straw hat, apron, and gloves lending a human touch to the vampire weeding a flower bed. Her thoughts reached to me when she heard my approach. Edward! His smile is slowly returning now that his family is getting closer.
“Hello, Son. What brings you out into the garden? There aren't any flowers currently, just tons of weeds that grew while we were busy. The rowan tree is starting to get berries but that's it for color right now in the garden.” I wish I had beautiful flowers to send to the airport with you. Her words were punctuated with frustrated breaths as she yanked handful by handful of weeds from the flower bed, once again restoring order to her domain. She looked up and smiled as we heard the Mercedes pull out of the garage. We turned and saw Carlisle blow a kiss towards Esme and whisper, “I love you.” It was now or never.
“Esme. Mom, can I talk to you about something?”
Always honey. You know that. She stopped weeding and sat back on her knees. I held out my hand to help her to her feet. The frost covered grass cracked beneath our footsteps as I led her to the stone bench on the side patio.
“I'm really confused of what I need to do, as well as want to do. Everything was so crystal clear before, but talking to Marcus and then Alice's letters started showing up, and now it feels like I'm in a maze with only one possible ending but so many ways of getting there. I'm worried if I choose wrongly that we'll lose everything.”
What is going on Edward? Tell me and we'll sort things out.
I smiled at my mother, truly my mother in every sense. “I love Bella more than anything. She's my everything; she completes me, makes me be a better man, less of a monster. She taught me how to love and live; she gave up her humanity to have an eternity with me, to give us a daughter. She's my soul mate.”
Esme nodded, a smile across her face. And I'm thankful for every moment you are together. She makes you live, not just exist. “She's my daughter, your wife, and an amazing mother.” I only wish that Rose and Alice were still here. It isn't fair that one son finally finds his match and two lose theirs. Our family was complete for too short a time.
“That is what I want to talk about. Alice had a vision, or rather, several of them I'm guessing, on how to hold the family together. Marcus has seen it for a while with his gift as well. His thoughts taunt me whenever he knows I'm listening. But it's Alice's letters that have made me even consider his option.” My hands gripped my knees tightly, worried if I grabbed the bench seat I'd have only a pile of gravel to sit upon.
What do they see happening Edward? Her voice rang with her concern now, her maternal urge to comfort her child taking over completely.
“They want me to share Bella with Jasper and Emmett.”
Share? What does he mean? “How? What do they mean by share?” Does it mean what I think it means? Her thoughts were overtaken with images of Bella laying in bed next to my brothers.
“Yes, Esme, that's exactly what they mean.”
Oh.
“Alice admitted to me in a letter of throwing Bella and Jasper into situations while they're away. She wanted this. She knew that Bella could keep them from hurting as badly. Alice is using Bella and I as pawns in her eternal game. She's determined to have her way and based on how Bella has sounded on the phone, I'm sure that there has been an event or two where Alice tried to get her point across to them as well as to myself.”
What are you going to do about it? She thought to me as her toes toyed with a piece of rock that was too far from its flower bed.
“That's the problem. I don't know. I keep coming back to knowing that if Bella wanted them, I wouldn't stop her. I don't know if I could truly say ever that I want to share her. She's mine. She's my mate, my everything. But they're our brothers, family. I just want everyone to have a happily ever after, and theirs was ripped away from them. I feel selfish. If I could just share her, maybe she could help even more, keep them from feeling as I did when I just thought she was dead. To see her die before my own eyes, I know I wouldn't have the strength they do now to go on, even for Renesmee. Without Bella, there is no reason for me to exist.”
“Son, I think that the fact you are even considering the option,” her voice cracked a bit on the last word, “speaks volumes of your love for your family. Over my years as a human and as well, one of us, I've discovered that there are many forms of love, some less than innocent, and some that are so pure that they consume one another with a white fire. You and Bella have that- a love so pure and strong that it holds you together but when apart it slowly consumes you. But the heart, or whatever it is that allows us to love, our humanity perhaps, is infinite. Love is infinite. When your daughter was born, you loved her right away, yes?” I nodded. Even hearing her thoughts echo her words as she spoke them I could not see exactly where she was going with this.
“It didn't detract from your love of Bella, in fact, it made you love her more.” My head bobbed again. Esme was correct; my love for Bella knows no bounds and my heart swelled with love, adoration, and pride at what she and I had made- a child when I thought that path was barred to me.
“Edward, we both know that you and Bella loved your sisters dearly. You also both love your brothers. You're family. We take care of one another. That's what sets us apart from the covens. We are a family. One unit comprised of seven individuals, eight including Jacob who may as well be counted now since he will be a part of the family.”
Sorry flew across her thoughts and face as I winced at my less than favorite thought. “Carlisle and I lost two daughters, and we're still grieving that loss. I'm a mother, that loss cripples me at times. A parent is not supposed to bury her children. I cling to Bella now; she's my only daughter left. If I lost her-lost any more of my children, the grief would be too much. I want my sons back. I know they are heart broken, no... they are soul broken; and if Alice saw it help, maybe it is the right thing. I think the Cullen family has long since learned to never bet against your pixie of a sister. Am I right?” I smiled. The same thought had often crossed my mind.
“I don't know how I'd deal with seeing them together.”
“Then don't. If Bella can accept this, arrangement, well then the two of you would have a lot to discuss, including some set of boundaries and rules I'm guessing. Include that it has to be out of thought range and you'd appreciate if they guarded those memories around you until things were more easily accepted. They love you. They'd never do anything to hurt you. Emmett and Jasper are men, with the appetites of men, but they also recognize that she is yours and would see that you are offering quite the gift in sharing her affections, even if it was solely physical and she never developed feelings beyond sisterly for them.
"There are alternate relationships out in the world, Edward. A polyamorous relationship, done right with open communication, complete honesty, and done with love, can be successful. It does not take away the love from the first relationship but adds a new depth as you discover how you feel about others. It is not the relationship I currently share with your father, and is not the right choice for us, but many find that it works. I know our Alaska cousins had practiced forms of it from time to time as male vampires found their way to the coven for an extended trip. They shared equally although there normally was a primary relationship, one he was closer with. Change is so hard for our kind, especially where mates are involved, but perhaps this is the happily ever after for the family. Ask Bella what she wants but above all, be honest with her and yourself.” Esme wrapped her arms around me and made me feel like that seventeen year old boy I was so long ago, held in his mother's arms as she made the world right again.

BPOV
The plane landed and I could see Edward's fiery hair waiting at the terminal as soon as I stepped onto the concourse. Jake had Renesmee so I knew I could go on ahead. I could see Edward trying to hold still and not jump the fence and run towards me. I started jogging to him, every inch too far away from my love. As soon as I cleared the desk and attendant he had me in his arms. Our lips crashed together, my arms snaking up his back to let my hands tangle in his hair. He pulled back, panting, and looked into my eyes, our foreheads resting together.
“I missed you, love," I whispered as I drew his face to mine for another kiss.
“I missed you, my Bella. Let's not do this again; I can't bear being parted from you.”
He pulled away and took our daughter into his arms as soon as Jake had led her through the gate. “My little one. How glad I am to have you back in my arms. Home. You're finally home.” Her hands were on his face, love for her father clearly written across hers, and his smile was, I guess, triumphant is what I'm looking for. It was infectious. My vision began to blur and then I felt the fire as tears ran down my cheeks at their reunion. Edward hoisted Renesmee onto his hip and pulled me close with his other arm. “My two loves.” My head resting on his shoulder I saw our brothers approach. Jasper, having seen and felt my tears, reached over and brushed them away. “Jasper. Emmett. Thanks for bringing them home. Jacob, you kept her safe and I am eternally in your debt.”
Jake, being Jake of course, couldn't resist a barb when given the chance. “Thanks aren't needed. You know why I did it, there's nothing for me without her. But I'll remind you of your debt, as you put it, when you threaten me in say seven or eight years when I ask your permission.”
“Don't push your luck, mutt” A low growl had started in Edward's chest before Jacob finished speaking.
“Jacob Black!”
“Watch it, pup”
“Jake”
“Jakey. That's not the way to make my father like you. Can't you two get along?” It was the last voice in our outburst that brought us to our senses. Renesmee doesn't like to speak aloud often; but when she does, she gets her point across.
I smiled at my little girl. “Come on boys, let's go home. We have eternity to fight out your testosterone battles, let's just go home now before people start staring more than normal.”
The ride home was silent, Jake and Renesmee in the middle seat, Jasper riding shotgun, Edward and I on the back bench. Renesmee hand her hand on Jake's cheek almost the entire time, chuckles escaping his lips occasionally. Their dependency on one another had grown in their month away together which left me both relieved knowing she'd been taken care of so well and jealous that my little girl was already beyond needing me. Emmett was bouncing in the driver's seat of his jeep, happy to be up in his baby again.
I was in my love's arms, as if we had not been apart. Edward's arm was around my shoulder, fingers stroking the side of my neck, drifting up from time to time to gently worry my earlobe or trace across my lips. My hand was on his leg, tracing circles on his thigh. Once I may have gone a little too high in my circle and Edward let out a content yet strained sigh causing both of my brothers looked at us- Emmett through the mirror and Jasper turning to look between the seats. Edward looked questioningly at my brothers and then to me, as if trying to figure out what had happened while we were away. I just shrugged and nestled into his shoulder, tucking my head under his chin. He smiled into my hair and softly hummed my lullaby. I sat there, content, until Emmett pulled into the driveway and I saw Esme standing in the doorway.

Jasper POV
I still don't know if what Alice has seen is the right way for things to progress but what is growing between Bella and myself is too strong to deny as just curiosity and comforting. It doesn't near what I felt for Alice or the love I see between Bella and Edward, but there is something there- an attraction, the lust boils between us when we're alone, and a trace of love is strengthening, more than what we had before, less innocent when combined with the lust, but I know we'll never be mates in the true sense of the couldn't be, right?
If Edward and Bella come to an understanding on things and do allow the physical to occur eventually, we could be amazingly mated, but she'll never be my mate. That part of me belongs solely to Alice, as Emmett will always belong to Rosalie, and Edward and Bella belong to each other. But when Bella is with me, it's as if I can feel Alice when I'm in her arms. I can remember her scent that little bit more, as if she's watching over us. Until a decision is reached, it is torture watching my thoughts, always having the main area of my mind focused on Alice, my history, philosophy books I want to read, anything but the thought of his wife on top of me, riding against my cock.. ok got to stop that thought Jasper, Alice riding me.
I heard Edward sigh and the slight building of lust coming from the backseat. Emmett looked in the mirror, jealousy that Bella's hands were on Edward. He, too, was beginning to feel for our little sister. I did my best to keep my thoughts and emotions in check but my body disobeyed and I found myself turning to look at the maker of the sound, his eyes full of curiosity at our reactions, trying to find the thought that would reason away our behavior. I saw Bella's eyes widen before shrugging at him as he looked to her for the answer. She felt a slight amount of guilt as she looked at him but then I could feel her eyes on me as she snuggled into his chest, affection, understanding, guilt, and need pouring from her- willing me to understand that she was sorry for what I was being put through. I turned to face the front again, watching out the window. Oh, it will be hard to deal with keeping my thoughts and emotions buffered.

BPOV
We were home at last. Hours later found us in our cottage; Renesmee was asleep in her bed, and Jake had gone home to see Billy and let Charlie know we're home and will be by tomorrow. Edward had taken me out to hunt; a mountain lion crossed our path. I tried to entice my husband in the woods after he licked my chin and lips clean of blood that had smeared. He pulled me towards our home, wanting me in his arms in our bed. Little did he know I was going to have no part in the gentle sweet love making we were used to. This was going to be an evening he'd never forget, vampire memory or not.
After checking on Renesmee, I made my invitation. “Edward, join me in the shower?”
He smiled and nodded, picked me up into his arms, and then carried me into the bathroom. He reached in and started the taps. I watched the muscles in his back stretch and flex as he moved, wetness pooling between my legs. I slowly pulled off my sweater, and lowered the zipper on my slacks, as he turned to look at me. When I stood before him in a cream lace bra and panty set, he dropped to his knees, his face against my stomach. He growled deeply against my skin, reaching up and tearing my bra off into pieces, not bothering to find the catch on the back. Edward traced his hands down my sides to my hips, whispering my name into my flesh, as his fingers caught on the waistband of my underwear, sliding them down to my feet. I stepped out of them, backing into the shower. He rid himself of his pants, and was already erect, pulsing for me. Edward took a step over the ledge into the shower where I surprised him. I reached down, tracing his cock with my fingertips, before closing my hand around his hard length, stroking from base to tip. His eyes rolled back in his head and a genuine purr began at the back of his throat. I began to stroke repeatedly, letting my thumb trace across the venom leaking from the tip of his shaft. His eyes flew open and he looked at me in awe.
I knelt down before him, sending him images of what I wanted to do, the same scene I sent him before I left. Edward let out a strangled moan, his engorged member twitching towards me. His hand slipped beneath my chin, tilting me up to look at him. “You don't need to do this, love.”
But I want to Edward; please let me. Besides, your friend here thinks that I do.
“It isn't proper.”
In your time it wasn't. I'm your wife, anything I choose to do is proper. Please, Edward? On my last “please” I didn't wait for his answer and let my tongue slip from tip to base and back again. He leaned back against the wall as I opened my lips and took him in as far as I could, my hand wrapped around his base.
Edward whimpered, his hands going into my hair, stroking my ears, and gently rocking my head against him. “Bella. I still don't think...”
Don't think. Just feel me. I let my tongue snake around his cock as I let him thrust between my lips. I took him a little deeper, swallowing to create pressure.
“Oh God, love. What are you doing to me?”
Probably what you think I am. Do you like it?
His response was a moan as I felt the head of his shaft swell. He started panting and thrusting deeper. When his fingers tightened in my hair, pulling me onto him I chanced looking up through my lashes, his face was twisted into a snarl as he growled. He was fighting his impending release, his gentleman side at war with the seventeen year old boy who wanted nothing more than to fill my mouth with his seed. It was time to push him over the edge. Cum for me Edward. Let go.
His eyes opened, his mouth half smile and half sneer as he threw his head back against the shower wall, a dent forming from the impact. I moved my head faster, mimicking the motions our bodies made together and then he let out a moan so loud I was worried the main house could hear us. Edward's hips snapped against me and his venom spilled into my mouth, which I swallowed down as he came. His hands finally stilled against my head, now pulling me off of him as his cock began to soften. I let him go with a pop of my lips and he bucked once as the air hit him. I stood up and he looked at me in wonder before closing the distance to kiss me. We finished showering together, washing one another's hair and bodies, never letting go.
After he dried me off, Edward finally spoke. “Bella, love, where did you learn that?”
Learn what, dear? An insolent smile graced my lips.
“You know fully well what. You on your knees, pleasuring me. How? Where did you learn that?” His eyes were guarded as if not sure he wanted the answer.
“Edward, you are the only person I've done that to. We had a long flight, a few of them actually, and the boys bought some magazines to help pass the time. I filed some information away for later.” I stood on tiptoes, looping my hands around his neck and pressing my lips against his. I still marvel at how he feels soft, warm, like myself now that I'm no longer human. His lips are no longer hard and cold but soft and mold to mine so well. We headed towards our bedroom, stopping to peek in on a still soundly sleeping Renesmee. I walked to the door leading towards our pond and patio as he went for the closet. He must have seen me looking out wistfully as he left his clothes on the bed and came to wrap his arms around me, resting his chin on top of my head.
“Isabella. We still have a few hours before Nessie wakes up, want to go for a swim and you can tell me more about your trip?” He reached around me, letting the latch loose before grasping me by the hip, spinning me to face him. I looped my arms around his neck as he reached down and grabbed my thighs, pulling me up so that I could wrap my legs around him. He left his towel on the floor and undid the knot on mine, letting it slip from me onto the soft sand surrounding the man made pond. He stepped down into the pond, taking us to the deep side of the pool, and he stood with his leg bent, braced against one of the hidden seats along the edge. I slid down his body, my core hitting his thigh as my legs fell to either side. The pressure caused me to moan, my desire still rampant for him.
“Edward, please. I need you. I've missed you being inside of me.”
He looked at me wickedly, before lowering me down his body until I could touch the bottom. He placed his hands on my shoulders, his fingers running down my arms, electricity burning through me wherever he touched.
“Turn about is fair play, my Bella.” His fingers slipped from my hands to my hips, one going to my back to hold me against him, the other stroking my sex, his fingers sliding between the lips before he used that hand to position me so that his hardness was against my opening. His fingers pressed against my clitoris as he entered me. I clutched at his back as his fingers circled the bundle of nerves, his body starting the maddening rhythm that leads to our mutual release.
Edward, please more. Harder. My mental conversation was easier to portray what I wanted than to speak it aloud. He reached down with his free hand, hitching my leg up over his hip, I brought the other leg up, the water making the position easier. He sunk down to his knees, the water coming to my chin, my hair trailing out behind me. I grasped his shoulders, pulling myself up before sinking back down onto him as he groaned into my neck, his tongue tracing the scar he'd placed there. The sensation startled me, so much more sensitive than any other spot on my neck. I bucked against him, earning a deep growl as his lips took possession of mine again. I could feel my orgasm building as he continued to thrust into me and work his fingers against me. I buried my face in his neck, turning to kiss his shoulder as the pleasure overtook me, a scream escaping me until I inadvertently buried my teeth in his shoulder. He hissed and I felt him pump his own release deep inside me.
He chuckled as I lowered my legs and knelt beside him. He had reached up and was rubbing my bite.
Oh god, Edward. I'm sorry! How bad is it? “How bad does it hurt Edward? Tell me!”
He just laughed and kept rubbing the spot. “It's fine Bella. Love, I'll be fine. It stings a little but not as bad as I'd think, probably because it's partially my own venom that flows through you. It's still going to leave a mark- a little stronger than a hickey don't you think? If you were planning to mark me as your own, you've done it, my wife.”
He was teasing me after I'd bitten him!
I splashed him with water and then started to climb out of the pond. He pulled me back in and I let him win; a kiss was my prize for humoring him. Edward lifted me in his arms and carried me to our bed where we laid down, still wet, and he draped an arm over me, his lips on my forehead. I thought back to all the nights I'd slept in his arms and how loved and safe I feel here. I looked at the mark on his shoulder, the crescent that was already turning silver. I traced it, and wondered if that's what Jasper felt like.
“So, Bella, how was your trip? I picked up from Jasper that you went with him to scatter Alice's ashes.”
I shifted so that I was laying on his chest, my ear over where his heart used to beat.
“It was beautiful but I'm so glad to be home. Emmett made bad jokes as always, Jasper enjoyed playing games with his talent, and then after we found Renesmee and Jacob, we spent time shopping and relaxing in town. The night Jasper took the urn up to the mountain top, he asked me to go with, at Alice's request. She also had me bring a blanket so we laid down and watched the stars before he said good-bye. I felt like I was helping him by being there. Alice seemed to know I could help him, so she found ways for us to connect.. The mountainside, hunting one night with Renesmee while Jake and Emmett went in town to gamble a bit, even his game on the...” I stopped there, not wanting to continue.
“Game? What game?”
On the plane, love. I told you about it, a game of resist the emotion.
Yes you did, love. So why are you tense from talking about it? Did you not enjoy it? What happened? Did he hurt you?” His arms tensed as if to run.
“No, Edward, it was fine, just well, Wait... promise not to move until I'm done talking, okay?” His eyes widened and he nodded. I sat, straddling him. “Here, love, this might be easier. Just remember that I love you, always.” I showed him the images of the three of us on the plane, from start to finish, including me sitting in a similar position on top of my blond brother, the starry night, the almost kiss, me stopping it saying I can't do this, our discussion of what Alice wants, Jasper saying he wants me but won't interfere with Edward and me. I stopped and showed him how beautiful he looked as I jumped into his arms at the airport. I love you more than life, more than existence, Edward. I am yours, always.
His eyes were slightly pained at seeing the intimate position of me on his brother, but he smiled through the rest. “Yes, Bella, Alice is up to something, and is apparently playing harder than I anticipated. That's part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I don't really know how to go about it but it seems that you and Jasper came to the same conclusion. Alice saw you with Emmett and Jasper, as well as me, all of us sharing you.”
Hearing him say it so matter-of-factly, scared me slightly. I started to climb off of him to sit beside him.
“No, Bella; stay, love.” His hands tightened around my hips, holding me in place. “We need to talk this through, and this is as good of a position as any.” He smiled then, trying to dazzle me. “Unless you prefer it to be Jasper beneath you.” My look of shock made him laugh. “Oh, my Bella! I'm teasing you, dearest. I know, love, I know you. You love me and are mine as much as I am yours. But it is good to know that you are attracted to him, I'm glad you were honest with me. As much as it does make me jealous to think of you like that with him, or even with Emmett, I think that Alice and Marcus may be right. My brothers love you, Jasper a little more so based on the time you've spent together. You are binding us together, maybe it's just that we need to make that knot a little tighter. I was talking to Esme earlier...”
Esme knows!?
“It's okay Bella. Don't fret so much. This family has no secrets, you know that. With our hearing, someone was bound to find out what we are discussing. But she and I discussed how love works and that if you love them it doesn't mean you love me less and that there are relationships with more than two partners that work. The foundation is love and honesty, two things we already have shown here to be in our favor.” He went back to stroking my hips and arms gently as he spoke when he knew I wasn't going to bolt.
“So where does that leave us, Edward? What do you want me to do?” I placed my hands on his chest and shifted my weight so I could settle next to him, and pulled him onto his side so we were looking into each other's eyes.
“It isn't what I want you to do, it's what we choose to do as a couple. You are my wife, but they are also my brothers. I want to help them heal in any way I can. I know what it felt like when I thought you were dead. But for them to watch their mates fall like that, in front of them and be able to do nothing, especially Jasper after finding out that Alice knew she wouldn't walk away from that encounter, I want to help erase their pain. For everything Alice has done for us, the sacrifice she made, for the sacrifice our family made to keep us together, I want to at least give you and them the option, to try and heal their wounds a bit.”
“Does this mean you're alright with me being, well, intimate with them?” Edward reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a ragged breath. I regretted the question. I tried to reach out for his face. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I'm sorry, Edward, I shouldn't have asked.”
“No! It will be fine. It's a question that had to be asked. I honestly don't know yet. Will I allow it, yes. Will I hold it against you, no. Will I be jealous, yes but I will learn to deal with that. I know that you won't run off with Jasper, and Emmett won't kidnap you for more than a weekend away. I am not personally against it beyond my caveman tendencies to claim you as mine and no one else's. It just goes against everything I was raised to believe in. But then I became a vampire and spent more than a human lifetime waiting for you to be born. After, we fought against all odds to be here in this bed together, our daughter behind us, and now we have another path set before us... It isn't a hurdle or an obstacle, just a different path where I won't be the only one holding your hand.”
“How will we broach this with them? I can't just walk up to them and ask them to sleep with me.”
Edward started laughing. “You probably could just ask Emmett that.” I hit him on the shoulder and he winced. “Save that for Emmett. He likes it rough.”
I buried my face in the pillow. Of anyone, Edward would know what his brothers like, despite years of tuning it out. I started laughing against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me.
“Love, at any time, if you agree to this, you can call it off. Other than keeping it equal between the two of them and not forgetting about me, there really aren't any rules to go from. We're in new territory without a guidebook. All we can do is be honest and let the cards fall as they will, or in this case, how Alice wills it, and see what happens. We won't force things to occur, but we will not stop any natural progressions either. Is this something you can do, are willing to do? I love you no matter your answer.”
I just looked into his eyes and he smiled that crooked smile that is meant just for me. I could feel him dazzling me but did not care. He was mine and loved me, that was all that made sense in the world. I did not think I could actually speak the answer, my throat felt thick with tears, so I simply nodded before kissing him and laying down in his arms.
We stayed like that until the sun rose up over the trees and our daughter began to stir in her room. We walked up to the big house to see Carlisle on the phone helping make arrangements for Marcus's return flight to Italy while Marcus sat in a high backed chair in the dining room, drinking a glass of what I'm assuming was donated blood much as they had given me while pregnant. The smell was rich and inviting but I tuned it out, focused on Jasper sitting on the couch. Edward looked to me, nodding and gave me a small push as he went to see if Carlisle needed any assistance. I walked over to Jasper, sitting and taking his hand into my own.

TTTB Chapter 2: Healing Balm

BPOV
“Mom,” was all I whispered as I held Esme tight against me and her hand went to the small of my back. Esme held me and breathed deep as if trying to memorize my scent, to keep it in her mind forever. Edward wrapped his arms around both of us, his chin resting on top of my head as he pressed his lips into Esme's hair. We stood there until we heard Carlisle on the stairs and we broke apart to enter the home and the four of us held each other and let our grief go unspoken.
I looked to Edward as the embrace ended and he knew me well enough to know what I wanted. “They're upstairs. You take Jasper, I'll take Emmett.” I brushed my lips against my parents' cheeks before making the sad climb up the stairs, stairs I had last climbed to ransack Alice's closet for Renesmee's backpack. Edward just pushed the door open and went into Emmett and Rose's room while I rapped my knuckles lightly on the door to Jasper's study. I knew he wouldn't be in their room; there would be too much pain.
Silence. I turned the knob, happy to see it unlocked, for I would have gone in regardless, and this made less work for Esme later. Jasper was draped across the chair under the window, a book on his lap, a paper in his hand, just staring at the wall.
Jasper looked up as I approached and closed his eyes before tilting his head toward the floor. I knelt beside him and laid my head onto his chest, holding him was impossible due to how he was laying in the chair. Jasper radiated numbness, his pain too far gone to feel much more. I stayed there until he shifted, sliding to the floor with me, his arms around me as he whispered repeatedly to me, to himself, to the world.
“She's gone. My Alice is gone.” His arms pulled me tighter after his seventy third repetition and then he went silent. I shifted onto my back and dragged him with me so that his head was over where my heart had been and I stroked his hair back and whispered things such as, “I know,” “I'm sorry,” and “I'm here. Let it out.” The words were unimportant, being there was what he needed. I could hear Edward next door giving Emmett a pep talk, making sure he knew that the traitors were long dead, and how he had to pull it together to help take of Nessie for Rose, that he had to live for Rose, that she won't want him to follow after. I opened my mouth to say something similar to Jasper but the words wouldn't come. Maybe I knew that this was what he needed more. I just held him and whispered into his blond waves. I held him much like Jake had held me as I cried over Edward.
I could be his and Emmett's personal sun. I would help piece them together, I'd be the glue that held them as whole as they could be. I heard the door open behind me and knew that Edward wanted to speak with Jasper. I hugged him tighter before slowly gaining my feet and exiting the room. Edward ran his fingertips down my cheek as I passed, his heart in his eyes, the small token of affection he could afford to give me in his mourning brother's presence.
“Hey, big brother,” escaped my lips before I could think of what I should say as I walked into the red and pink satin draped room. He looked up from the bed to me and gave a fake smile, probably expecting another peptalk. I kicked off my shoes and crawled across the bed and hugged him, much as I had to Jasper. He held me for a minute before sitting up. Emmett chuckled deep in his chest and sat up, pulling me with him.
“I don't think she'd like another woman in our bed, even if it was my little sister.” His laugh became forced as it mixed with more crying. His eyes searched the room, probably trying to find something safe to look at. The mirrors reflected that he was alone, the bed where he had shared so much with her, their chairs and loveseat. He finally settled on the tv, a miniature of the one in the living room, with only one game system set up. Inspiration hit.
“Emm... wanna see if you can kick my ass at Toxic Grind now? You sure couldn't when I was a human. Maybe I'll break the controller or I won't remember the trick moves.” His face lit up, a little bit of the boyishness surfacing. Emmett's husky frame was off the bed and into the chair by the tv in a flash, the controller in hand and my chair swiveled for me before the game had finished loading. I won the first round, the bike trick combinations easier to perform with faster reflexes although I lost the second match because I cracked the controller, still too strong and unused to dealing with such a fragile piece of equipment. His loud celebratory “Whooop Whooop” sounded through the house. It was a forced response, but it was the best I could expect for years.
Edward and Jasper must have heard the noise and were standing the doorway watching Emmett do his victory dance before Edward held out his hand, beckoning me over. I curled into his chest, smelling the sweet honey and cinnamon scent of my soulmate and let it wash over me along with his love. I felt a short wave of jealousy from Jasper, quickly replaced with pain and remorse before he locked it away again. I petted his arm before slipping between them and downstairs. I sunk down into the couch, listening to Esme consoling Kate on the loss of her sisters and asking what she is planning. Carmen and Eleazar were the only others to remain, the nomads having gone their way as the fight dispersed. The boys joined me, Edward pulling me into his lap as his brothers sat on the couch across from us. No words were spoken, but I could read Edward's face, the flickers of pain he couldn't quite prevent nor erase as his brothers' thoughts swept through him.
We must have sat there for hours. It was dusk when Esme and Carlisle joined us, squeezing in next to Edward and me. Emmett broke the silence asking when Jake would bring back Nessie.
“I don't know Em. I wasn't expecting us to still stand if a fight occurred. I left enough money for Jake to keep them comfortable for some time. Assuming he listened to me, they are well on their way to Rio De Janeiro. Safe. I didn't think to send my cell with them.” I dropped my head to Edward's shoulder and tried to steady my now panicked breathing.
“I have to get her back. I need my little girl back in my arms. She's my heart, my life, she needs to be home.” Edward was rubbing soothing circles on my lower back, trying to calm me, before Jasper brought his gift to bear upon me, my unneeded breathing slowing to a norm, my emotions settling into a numbness, an echo of his own. I attempted a small smile at him before he excused himself for the night. He needed some time to himself. As he entered the hall, Carlisle finally spoke what we all felt.
“Jasper, you are still my son and are welcome here, even without her. I know this wasn't the life you would have chosen, but we love you and if you'll have us, we'd love to have you here. You've lost your mate, the pain will never be erased, you'll always feel that emptiness, but it will become easier in time. Let us help you when you're ready.” Carlisle seemed placated by Jasper's stiff nod before turning to the stairs and climbing to his room. His numbness still filled me so I guess he was sweeping it through everyone.
His absence left the room feeling empty, a void without Alice's laughter, Rosalie and Emmett wrapped up in each other's presence, without Renesmee playing with her toys. Her new toys, stacking peek-a-blocks, were still littered the floor behind the couches, the recently designated play area. I could see her drawing table covered in crayons from her last “color making” as she described in my head. I remembered Edward sitting on his heels while our little girl had one hand on his cheek, one hand on a crayon as she showed him what she wanted him to draw with her. Without remembering having left his lap, I found myself putting away her toys into their bins, awaiting her return. She'd probably be too old for them by the time I got her home, if we found them at all.
I jumped as I felt Edward's arms go around my waist, lifting me from my crouch to press against his chest, his cheek against mine. “I miss her too, love. We'll leave soon to bring her home where she belongs. She'll be sleeping in her room in the cottage, growing up before our eyes, and we'll have to deal with Jake's smell and his thoughts, but for her we'll get through everything. You gave me the greatest gift by bringing her into our lives, and I'm not letting us be separated now for more than necessary. You and Nessie are my reason for existence, and I'll never let us be parted again. It will take Jacob a few days to get them there and more time to feel comfortable enough to come out of hiding. We'll get to them in a few weeks even though every minute is a moment too long.
"Let's give us time to wash away the physical evidence before we bring her home.” I could hear the pain in his voice as he tried to be strong for me. Even as his heart was breaking, Edward tried to hide it so he could be my strength. The shaking of his chest and breaking of his voice was enough to show that he was hurting as much as I. She truly was Daddy's little girl and all the fighting we had before she was born was gone. He loved her completely, one of his greatest regrets of losing his humanity granted to him and, as he often said, the best thing I could have ever provided for him besides loving him, monster and all.
“Bella, love, I don't know if I can deal with being in our cabin until she's back. I don't know if you can. Perhaps we can stay here until she's home. It's not like we sleep, and we still have clothing here in my closet.” I turned into his arms and nodded before setting my head on his chest, Edward's arms holding me safely against him. He murmured sweet nothings, words of comfort, his frozen breath tickling my neck, my hands instinctively going into his hair and pulling his lips to mine while the familiar shivers started as his lips grazed my ear when he whispered.
The rest had returned to their own rooms as we stood there, moonlight shining through the windows, our hope of a future the fragile thread holding us all together. Renesmee would keep us bound throughout the lifetimes of pain ahead as we healed from the loss we sustained last night. He picked me up into his arms and took me upstairs so we could provide a balm to the wounds inflicted upon our souls.

EPOV
I carried Bella up the stairs to my room, our room now, and laid her on the couch. I started the stereo with one of her additions to my collection and turned to look at my wife. The moonlight reflected on her alabaster skin, and I could briefly imagined the warm blush across her cheeks from me looking upon her beautiful form. I'm glad that she felt as I did that our home wasn't our home without Nessie's beautiful brown eyes and laughter filling the rooms. The fireplace had nothing on the warmth she provided to our lives. Bella's hair fanned beneath her head upon the arm of the couch, her eyes on me, her husband. My wife, my wife! The thought of it still stirred my long silent heart. Even with the grief we sustained, I felt another stirring, a different thirst, one only quenched by my dearest Bella. The few months we've had to this day as husband and wife have been filled with so much love, I finally understood the ever present impure thoughts of those around us. The physical act, such intimacy, is mind blowing.
I loosened my belt and started to release the buttons of my shirt when Bella stood and crossed the room to me. She looked into my eyes, hers deepest black as her desire ignited flames matching mine. Bella's slim fingers coaxed the buttons free and slipped one hand inside the shirt onto my chest, a slight hiss escaping my lips before they claimed hers. My patience gone, I pulled free for a moment to pull my shirt over my head as she mirrored my action and yanked her dress up, standing before me in green lace, her hair trailing over her shoulders, a silken waterfall draping her breasts. There are no words for the beauty she holds over me, she astounds me with every flex of her muscles, her breath stretching her ribcage, denting lightly under my grasp as I pull her back to me. Our kiss was less gentle, our bodies pressed tightly, her panties and my pants separating us.
Bella's breath caught in her chest as I undid the clasp of her bra, slid the silk straps over her ams, and trailed my lips and tongue in the same path.
“Edward, please. I need you. Help me forget, just for a little while.”
The purring started in my chest as she pulled me back to her lips, and I lowered the zipper on my pants, each tooth clicking loose until the fabric pooled at my feet. I carried her to the bed, the bed I proposed to her on, and settled her onto the coverlet before removing my boxers and kneeling over her to liberate her hips and heat from the damp lace. The warm musky scent of our arousal filled the room, and strengthened my lust for her. I could feel my erection straining towards her and knew that tonight would not be the gentle love-making we normally took part in. The coupling would be loving, yes, but it would be hard as we lost ourself in each other. Her hand trailed down my chest before clasping around my length, her eyes locking on mine as she bit her lip, always my downfall. I crashed my lips to hers, one arm going under her, and the other to the apex of her thighs, my fingers tracing where I longed to be. I slid a finger gently into her opening, the bucking of her hips combined with the moisture enough to shatter the slim hold on my desire. I lowered myself to her and lost myself within her depths.
It was only moments after we lay spent next to one another when I could hear my father and Esme locked in a similar embrace, their thoughts tuned solely on each other. Our own desire sated, my mind picked up on the other thoughts. Emmett felt lost, he heard the sounds of our sexual encounter and was reliving past memories he and Rosalie had shared. His desire for her was eternal and no one would compare to what she had made him feel. Yet he reveled in our lust and pleasured himself with Rose's image locked in his mind's eye. It was Jasper's thoughts that brought me out of my haze. He not only had to deal with the sounds, but our emotions. Jasper could feel our bond, our love, and the lust and desire we had unconsciously thrown off from the living room to our bedroom. The release we found in each other's arms, the ecstasy only she has ever brought me, brought his pain to a pinnacle as I spilled my venom within her.

BPOV
Edward seemed distracted in the moments after our love-making, his face having lost the serenity our joining had given him. The sex itself was amazing as always but it did little but delay our memories of Alice and Rosalie. The sound of a slamming door echoed to my enhanced hearing and footsteps sounded on the floor beneath ours before accessing the stairs to the main floor. A second door sounded and then quiet resumed. I looked to my husband, at his eyebrows knitting together, his jaw tight before he tucked it into my shoulder and releasing his breath in a forced sigh of “Jasper.” I crawled out from under his head and threw on my dress, running for the door.
“He wants to be alone, love. Let him go. He'll be back. He heard us and felt us as well as Carlisle and Esme. It was too much to feel the emotions as well as hear our acts. Let's clean up and head downstairs. He'll need us when he returns. Come shower with me.” Edward grasped my hand and I let him pull me to the shower, a new bottle of my strawberry shampoo on the rack. He started the water before taking hold of the hem and tracing his hands up my sides, his thumbs dragging the fabric up my body until it cleared my head to fall behind me as he lifted me into the shower with him.

A/N: This was my very first lemon. *cringe* I certainly hope they've improved since then. I really wanted to rewrite it, but the responses on Twitter were to leave it as is.